[Have Hope]

Had lunch with my CEO who laid me off, and he hit on me.

I politely declined and said no, but I still need his good reference.

I am upset though. More corruption on the part of my old company.

[divine1966]

Ouch, isn’t he married?

[Have Hope]

Yes!!!!!!! Very unhappily married!!!!!!

[divine1966]

Is it the same guy you shared your marital problems with? I wonder if he assumed it meant you are available for his advances? What the....

Years ago I had my boss hitting on me. I was clueless at first. Took me a minute to understand what he wanted. Couple of years later he had an affair with someone and he used company’s funds to conduct his affair (complicated story), he was fired.

[Have Hope]

Yes it is. And today he asked me how things were going at home, and I said "great!" but that I am waiting for the other shoe to fall. Maybe he took that as an opening. GEEZ!!!!!!!!!! I did not realize that by sharing my marital issue that that would mean he would take it as a way in!!!!! I was simply sharing for the sake of sharing, because we had been relatively close previously.

Is this my fault????

[Have Hope]

Ok. like I am going to just UNLOAD.

My CEO fired the Director above me right when I was hired, and right after the Director had had a heart attack.

Then a multitude of slippery stuff went on, including the fact that I was supposed to LIE to clients, coming from the CEO himself.

My boss tried to get me fired and undermined my success, because he was threatened by me.

Another colleague blatantly STOLE my work in front of me, claiming it was HERS on a client call THAT I WAS ON!!!!!!!!!!

And now that I have been laid off, the CEO invited me to his private cottage........

WTF???????????????????????????????????????

[divine1966]

I don’t think it’s your fault. We know a lot of personal things about a lot of people at work as we are like a family but that doesn’t mean it’s an invitation to ask people out. Now you don’t work together so if you were both single it would be fine for him to ask. But you both married what’s he thinking!

[divine1966]

Hm did he say “come alone” or was he maybe implying to come with your husband? Just trying to understand his crazy thinking

[Have Hope]

That’s a great point - thanks!

He asked me and not me and my husband together.

[guy1111]

No, it's not your fault. Honestly I try not to share my marital problems with the opposite sex but that is no excuse for someone to try and manipulate you.

There are honest ethical bosses out there. They are hard to find, though, unfortunately. I'm sorry you went through that.

[Have Hope]

Thanks Guy. I appreciate your support. I needed a reality check to see if I invited this. I don’t normally talk about my life problems at work, but we had a friend- like rapport. I should not have confided in him. Lesson learned. He took that as an opening. NOT. He’s slippery.

[TishaBuv]

Don’t get mad at me, but when you mentioned you were forming a close personal relationship with him, I got my spidey sense that there may be trouble coming from it. Gosh, I’ve just seen human nature at its worst, I guess. I was a little surprised nobody here said anything about it as a red flag. Sorry if this upsets you, but you asked for honesty.

[Have Hope]

@TishaBuv, thanks and I’m not angry. Like I said I should not have confided in him. I should have seen it coming. I know better. I guess I felt very alone with my feelings. I needed to talk about it and chose the wrong person. Lesson learned. No matter how hard it is to keep it inside, best not to confide like that in colleagues. I suppose unless true trust has been established. I did trust him on a personal level though for some reason. He was always candid with me.

[TishaBuv]

He’s the one who crossed the line. He’s an unscrupulous person. It’s best to be out of that toxic environment. Interesting how he fired you then hit on you...

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

He’s the one who crossed the line. He’s an unscrupulous person. It’s best to be out of that toxic environment. Interesting how he fired you then hit on you...

Whoa... I was not fired. I was laid off. Big difference. I can collect unemployment, and I received a month's severance pay. When you're fired, you don't collect unemployment, you do not receive severance pay, and it's typically for misconduct OR for not fulfilling job responsibilities as expected. I was laid off due to COVID. In my separation letter, it says not due to performance issues, but due to COVID and finances. Just to be very clear.

But yes, he is unscrupulous and crossed the line.

It was very toxic in a multitude of ways.

[TishaBuv]

Sorry, I didn’t know the difference.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Sorry, I didn’t know the difference.

No problem. There’s a huge difference. When laid off, you have nothing to explain to other employers. When you’re fired, you do and it raises concerns for future employment.

[TishaBuv]

I don’t have much knowledge about that
But I think it’s strange that you got close to him, both confided in marital issues, then you get laid off and he has lunch with and hits on you. It seems to me like one action could have been a result of the other.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I don’t have much knowledge about that
But I think it’s strange that you got close to him, both confided in marital issues, then you get laid off and he has lunch with and hits on you. It seems to me like one action could have been a result of the other.

You're very lucky then.

I suspect foul play, yes, but for different reasons having to do with my toxic boss and manager, both of whom I knew felt threatened by my mere existence because I carry a lot more industry knowledge than either of them. I believe they set me up for failure and then complained when I said I could not complete a task that they handed to me (that they KNEW was beyond my abilities). It is my belief that they did that on purpose, and set me up to fail and set me up to be let go. The reason I believe this is because this went down only days before I was laid off. And there had been a series of issues and complaints that I had made to HR about both of them, so I was stirring up the pot so to speak and I think I became problematic for them.

However, the CEO and HR really liked me as a person and on a professional level otherwise, so I think that's why I was "laid off" and given severance pay instead of fired for not completing that one project. My performance had been stellar otherwise.

The CEO I think simply took advantage of an opportunity at lunch to extend an overture towards me, ie, by inviting me to his private cottage, because the opportunity arose.

I suspect he may have always harbored some feelings for me because even in the beginning when I first began working there, he would come by my desk to chit chat, but to no one else's desk. He would frequently talk to me, and not many of the other employees.

[TishaBuv]

Private cottage... It does wreak of you were set up. You handled it all gracefully, though, and come away with money and glowing recommendations.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Private cottage... It does wreak of you were set up. You handled it all gracefully, though, and come away with money and glowing recommendations.

It DOES wreak doesn't it??

And yeah... lol.... I kind of made out pretty well in the whole deal! I also got out of a toxic work environment before my mental health started to really go down the drain. Money, glowing recommendations and my freedom. I cannot complain.

[LilyMop]

Ugh that’s annoying. I don’t think you invited this behavior from the CEO but it’s certainly a lesson learned. You’ll know next time... Things have gotten so weird these days that nothing surprises me at all anymore.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by LilyMop

Ugh that’s annoying. I don’t think you invited this behavior from the CEO but it’s certainly a lesson learned. You’ll know next time... Things have gotten so weird these days that nothing surprises me at all anymore.

Thanks for the validation @LilyMop!

Definitely a lesson learned. I am still learning how not to be SO open with people. I'm an open book and wear my heart on my sleeve a lot. I need to be far more cautious and reserved. But I have made some progress... baby steps.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Don’t get mad at me, but when you mentioned you were forming a close personal relationship with him, I got my spidey sense that there may be trouble coming from it. Gosh, I’ve just seen human nature at its worst, I guess. I was a little surprised nobody here said anything about it as a red flag. Sorry if this upsets you, but you asked for honesty.

I had the same feeling and saw it as a red flag. On the back of my head I thought that his sharing his marital problems and hope discussing her marriage with him will lead to troubles. I thought it would be seen by him as a permission to take it further. I knew he’ll ask or offer or hint to something more at some point. And he sure did

I am known to upset or anger people on here because I speak my mind so I try to keep my mouth shut. So I didn’t say anything then.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I had the same feeling and saw it as a red flag. On the back of my head I thought that his sharing his marital problems and hope discussing her marriage with him will lead to troubles. I thought it would be seen by him as a permission to take it further. I knew he’ll ask or offer or hint to something more at some point. And he sure did

I am known to upset or anger people on here because I speak my mind so I try to keep my mouth shut. So I didn’t say anything then.

Your gut feeling was 100% correct. I hadn't worked in an office in 7 years. I mainly worked solo for that time. Or a lot of it. I hadn't been in an office for so long, and welcomed relationships with people. I should have known better, but I'm not beating myself up. I chalk it up to a lesson learned.