[roads]

Madisgram started this thread some time ago, but it's exceeded the PC limit of 100 pages/1000 posts--so Christina86 closed the original. I'm still an addict, I still need this thread, so I'm starting a sequel. Hope nobody mnds my aggressive attitude
Roadie

[gma45]

Don't mind at all Roadie, I rather like this thread myself. It is late and I need sleep will try and post more tomorrow. It has been a crazy week. Still clean and sober that is what counts I suppose.

[beauflow]

Thank you Roadie for starting a new one. 's

Things in Beauflow world has been a little heavy.
I guess My dad wants to see some of us one last time; and since I am the only one in the "family" that talks to one brother, I felt as if I had no right to deny him the chance to see our dad for one last time.

There is a lot of things with this, that is a very short summery of it all. My one sister has already crossed boundaries with giving out my personal information to family that I do not want to have it. I did have a slip up last week with anxiety and fear.

On top of it all, life goes on and at work has been stressful and will be for a bit to come. Big changes are happening, which is ok but it is done in a chaotic fashion, which is stressful for me. However i have indulged the change more, or in away embraced it- and it has been a "good distraction" in away.

I have been good with not escaping through alcohol or drugs. Friday I wanted to so badly get a bottle after work, but I came home...
I have been watching a TV Show that is on my account that just runs continuously with no commercials. (Too Cute). I have been really trying to remind myself of self care, taking breaks (i.e. decompressing with nature or pictures), and taking one day at a time. I have gotten my teas, and down loaded an app that has sounds that I can make or already made for calming self at times. One i like, i have hummed it a few times just on my own when i start to get a little stressed

I talked with my s/o about the urges that have been, and he has reminded me as I do with myself. The escaping through the alcohol or drugs will do no good, it wont relax me, and it wont make things better.

I may be checking in as time passes more, if that is ok..

The last time I had contact with my Dad and another brother (that will happen this time too)--- I went back to drinking for escaping, then realized what I was doing and went to therapy.

The last time I didn't talk to many about things, I am trying to learn from that; and maybe if I talk more this time, I can make a different change this time around.
Though my s/o is stressed with his own things right now, he has been a good ear to lend to me when he can..... I know at times he is not always there- and that is where PC helps me out a lot because there are others that are similar to me, with struggles but are supportive.

sorry this is long.

I hope all are doing well, that we take life as a lesson and learn and grow as it continues.

Many hugs and well thoughts to everyone 's

I have not been able to escape from porn.

[roads]

There are others with this addiction but I'm not sure where they meet. Maybe start a threat in this Forum, heyitsme, with "porn addiction" in the title? They would respond to that, I hope, but may not check in here--don't remember anyone. Mostly us alkies and druggies
But come back here any ol' time!!
Roadie

[Socialogical_Mishap]

aside from one little incident last week I haven't cut in a long time, im sober and I haven't watched porn in weeks. I do still have issues with the other half of the sexual addiction and I still smoke a pack a day.

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by beauflow

Thank you Roadie for starting a new one. 's

Things in Beauflow world has been a little heavy.
I guess My dad wants to see some of us one last time; and since I am the only one in the "family" that talks to one brother, I felt as if I had no right to deny him the chance to see our dad for one last time.

There is a lot of things with this, that is a very short summery of it all. My one sister has already crossed boundaries with giving out my personal information to family that I do not want to have it. I did have a slip up last week with anxiety and fear.

On top of it all, life goes on and at work has been stressful and will be for a bit to come. Big changes are happening, which is ok but it is done in a chaotic fashion, which is stressful for me. However i have indulged the change more, or in away embraced it- and it has been a "good distraction" in away.

I have been good with not escaping through alcohol or drugs. Friday I wanted to so badly get a bottle after work, but I came home...
I have been watching a TV Show that is on my account that just runs continuously with no commercials. (Too Cute). I have been really trying to remind myself of self care, taking breaks (i.e. decompressing with nature or pictures), and taking one day at a time. I have gotten my teas, and down loaded an app that has sounds that I can make or already made for calming self at times. One i like, i have hummed it a few times just on my own when i start to get a little stressed

I talked with my s/o about the urges that have been, and he has reminded me as I do with myself. The escaping through the alcohol or drugs will do no good, it wont relax me, and it wont make things better.

I may be checking in as time passes more, if that is ok..

The last time I had contact with my Dad and another brother (that will happen this time too)--- I went back to drinking for escaping, then realized what I was doing and went to therapy.

The last time I didn't talk to many about things, I am trying to learn from that; and maybe if I talk more this time, I can make a different change this time around.
Though my s/o is stressed with his own things right now, he has been a good ear to lend to me when he can..... I know at times he is not always there- and that is where PC helps me out a lot because there are others that are similar to me, with struggles but are supportive.

sorry this is long.

I hope all are doing well, that we take life as a lesson and learn and grow as it continues.

Many hugs and well thoughts to everyone 's

Ah, so much on your plate! Hang in there! But glad you r watching Too Cute, it helps me too!!! Take care!

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

I have not been able to escape from porn.

sorry, hub having this prob no matter what. Trying to make it easier for him. You hang in there!

[anneo59]

Hi, I think working on one thing at a time is easier, sometimes, if you can, and replace with another more positive activity. I did this with smoking a long time ago, and drink cold water I prepare, often with a piece of fruit in it. But diff strokes for diff strokes. A friend of mine flips pencils!!! The best to you!

[anneo59]

pleased that docs office let me know earlier that blood sugar issues improved greatly (been trying) but I'm very low on Vit D, walk my dog, and am outside gardening a lot, but cover up, and wear sunscreen. So just gotta take some D3. Hope it will at least and it should help me to feel better physically!!! A better report than I expected and I'm grateful! Be well all. Trying to deal w marital issues a while now and lately been harder and scarier than usual!

[gma45]

Hanging in there. Not wanting to drink or drug or really anything else. Think I am still depressed can't seem to shake it. Maybe because it is so hot outside I just want to hibernate.

[roads]

Hibernating is tempting, gma. It's so humid and hot here in Florida--and for the past several days, thunderstorms have been pretty constant.
Drinking alcohol has no appeal in this weather! ... especially knowing the power may go at any time.
I'm so sorry your depression isn't any better. Are you on the same medication?

[gma45]

I am not on any medication at the moment for depression. Hopefully next year I can get on insurance again then I will be able to go see a doctor again. I hope no one starts any fires with fire works tomorrow. Happy 4th to everyone in the states.

i dont know whether i'm addicted or not. i mean a psychotherapist once saw me and he didnt consider my problem an addiction. but my definition of an addiction is that if one repeats an activity regularly, usually an unwanted one, then it's an addiction. There's no doubt about that.

This is exactly how I feel about porn.
It's like you're a drug, it's like you're a demon i can't face down, it's like i'm stuck, it's like i'm running from you all the time and i know i let you have all the power it's like the only company i seek is misery all around. it's like you're a leech, sucking the life from me, it's like i can't breathe, without you inside of me. and i know i let you have all the power and i realize i'm never going to quit you over time.--kelly clarkson.

[roads]

I don't get your point, I guess, heyitsme--Kelly Clarkson is hooked on porn, thinks of it as a drug?

Originally Posted by Roadie

I don't get your point, I guess, heyitsme--Kelly Clarkson is hooked on porn, thinks of it as a drug?

no what i meant was that the song describes what porn is.

Plus from time to time i hear her song in my head.

[gma45]

Checking in today. It has been an alright day went and saw some fireworks. But I get this feeling that I just don't belong, It must still be depression. I don't know just feeling like I wish I could fit in somewhere in this world. Maybe that is why I used to like to drink and do drugs so much before because I felt comfortable. Now I don't.

[lil_better_everyday]

Made it through the 4th without picking up a drink. That marks three relatively stressful holidays without booze and it feels great!

[roads]

Originally Posted by gma45

Checking in today. It has been an alright day went and saw some fireworks. But I get this feeling that I just don't belong, It must still be depression. I don't know just feeling like I wish I could fit in somewhere in this world. Maybe that is why I used to like to drink and do drugs so much before because I felt comfortable. Now I don't.

Are you able to find people to hang with who don't use?
That makes a huge difference for me ...
Roadie

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

This is exactly how I feel about porn.
It's like you're a drug, it's like you're a demon i can't face down, it's like i'm stuck, it's like i'm running from you all the time and i know i let you have all the power it's like the only company i seek is misery all around. it's like you're a leech, sucking the life from me, it's like i can't breathe, without you inside of me. and i know i let you have all the power and i realize i'm never going to quit you over time.--kelly clarkson.

hub going thru this, course me too. Hard

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by Roadie

I don't get your point, I guess, heyitsme--Kelly Clarkson is hooked on porn, thinks of it as a drug?

?????? me too, though I've heard some say, both male and female, it can be a tool, or useful, like a sex toy. . . .

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by Roadie

Are you able to find people to hang with who don't use?
That makes a huge difference for me ...
Roadie

I love this thread, think a great idea! Am feeling good after a pleasant weekend with some hub and family. Fairly stable at moment. Trying to be productive and enjoy life. Enjoying the moment I guess!

[roads]

Enjoying the moment

I am beginning to think that's major for us!! If we could do that, and always stay in the present, I think we'd be less driven to use.
For me, I think all my bipolar issues would ease, too. Wish I could stay in the present long enough to find out.

I'm alright, but not really. . .My head hurts and I'm super bored. . .
oh, so I guess I'm good (: