one thing to another.

so i originally got into pot when i was 12 - my older brother and his wife were dealers and my brother kind of talked me into it.

it never got worse than that. until i moved back to my hometown and was around my brother again. he got me into snorting pain killers and i even smoked crack and meth (g, as i call it) with him for the first times.

i never got hooked on either of them when i was in my hometown though. however, i did become extremely addicted to meth when i moved to phoenix, az. we did it just about everyday - drank, smoked pot, and snorted or smoked g.

it was a month or so after my ex got me into g that things between us went bad. he had terrible mood swings and was only nice to me when he was high and when we were alone together. other times he'd flip out and i'd have one nervous breakdown after another.

i've been clean since mid-october, mostly 'cuz i don't know where to find it out here, i suspect.

i'm really into drinking now, an old habit that runs in my family, on my dad's side. people in AZ said i had a drinking problem simply because i'd drink a few beers 2 or 3 nights in a row, if they were available.

now, i'm up to anywhere from 4 - 6 nights a week. i work so much and i always try to limit myself to one or two beers, but i still want more and more and end up staying awake till 11 p.m. drinking by myself and then struggling to get up for work at 5:30 the next morning.

i want to break the cycle, but it's really hard.

It is hard. I couldn't do it alone. I go to meetings. Not saying you need meetings, but thats how I did it. Been sober almost 2 years now. It is possible.