Daily addiction check in #1

Misssy2 · Jan 23, 2017, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Been about a month now since I've had a drink, but God can I use one right now.....

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

37 days sober. Still having some difficulty getting to meetings, due to pain issues. I try, I get to the club, and then the closer the meeting gets, the worse the pain gets, and I end up having to leave, because I can't drive while in severe pain... getting really annoyed... now gas is a problem til next month... at a quarter tank, and not sure if I can afford to go to meetings and doc appts... hate having to prioritize things like that...

just don't drink...I drank after about that amount of time and it is H*LL..its a big mind game that it will be good..it never is (well, it is for 1-2 drinks) then its all downhill...and I go on for days and days making myself so physically ill I can barely move for days more.

Misssy2 · Jan 23, 2017, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emgreen

It sounds like you did so well when you were going to meetings. The portions of your post above show that you learned about gratitude, the powerlessness over people, places & things, etc. I'm just wondering why you don't go back since you were able to stay sober 8 years with the help of AA. Just asking...

My current hero in AA is a woman who lost her husband, her mother after a long illness, her brother, who ODed on heroin, & her dog got run over...All within the space of a year (I know...Hard to believe). She still comes to meetings and has managed to stay sober because of meetings. She always says that meetings give her "a little dose of hope." I don't mean to minimize your issues, but my AA hero demonstrates that sobriety can remain a priority despite adversity, depression & anxiety. I only hope I could stay sober if I someday go through everything she's gone through.

Hang in there...

My sponser died in the middle of 2016...she was a big supporter of mine for 11 years..even thou only 8 were sober. I feel like I can't go to a meeting without thinking so deeply of her and I am already in a major depressive state.

I also have the embarassment of how I have changed in the 3 years I have been drinking..which I know that the sight of ME would help others to realize they should NOT go out and drink....I'm not about having others get off on my misfortune right now either. Thats why I haven't gone yet.

I have been to an occassional meeting..but its not the same as making a commitment to go on certain days or EVERY DAY.

emgreen · Jan 23, 2017, 10:45 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your sponsor - I'd imagine that hit you hard. As far as going back out after a period of sobriety, I've been there before & understand your feelings about returning to regular meetings. Take care...

zijax · Jan 24, 2017, 02:10 PM

detoxing still, physically need a drink, struggling, day 3

Justbyou · Jan 24, 2017, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zijax

detoxing still, physically need a drink, struggling, day 3

Yay! Day 3 is amazing. You got this

Keep fighting that fight.

emgreen · Jan 24, 2017, 06:01 PM

What Justbyou said! Way to go, zijax!

Misssy2 · Jan 24, 2017, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emgreen

I'm sorry to hear about your sponsor - I'd imagine that hit you hard. As far as going back out after a period of sobriety, I've been there before & understand your feelings about returning to regular meetings. Take care...

I will get over my pride...cause I know from 8 years of AA..pride will make me drink.

Misssy2 · Jan 24, 2017, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zijax

detoxing still, physically need a drink, struggling, day 3

This is the worst feeling in the world. I hope you are getting thru it without a drink...I'm on day 5 without a drink and finally starting to feel the gloom and physical terror get better. I still have no appetite..but I feel much better than I did 2 days ago even.

Bill3 · Jan 24, 2017, 08:17 PM

Excellent job zijax!

Hang in there!

Bill3 · Jan 24, 2017, 08:18 PM

Well done Misssy2! Keep up the great work!

Naiwen · Jan 25, 2017, 04:07 PM

It's been a little more than a week since I've been clean, so to say, my triggers are fading away slowly. And how did I accomplish that? By confronting them. I've spent my leisure time just in jewelry stores, but knowing that I couldn't take anything from them without paying for it first. It's knowing that that helped me the most. I just wanted share my way of not getting triggered by your formal ones. So you know you can confront them, instead of avoiding them, like it says on this website.

Bill3 · Jan 25, 2017, 04:18 PM

Well done Naiwen!

b1ghr0ll3r · Jan 26, 2017, 03:21 AM

Today is Australia Day, a day where I'd normally use or drink. I've decided to sit this one out at home clean and sober & it's miserable as hell. Can't wait to just go to sleep & it be tomorrow

Bill3 · Jan 26, 2017, 05:22 AM

Good job b1ghr0ll3r!

waggiedog · Jan 26, 2017, 05:28 AM

Hello everybody. I'm not sUre if I am supposed to join this thread/message board, please would someone kindly let me know if that's so. Don't want to upset anyone!

I had a long time friend and ex partner from some 25 years ago, I was with him for eight years back then. However I've been seeing him just as a friend here and there, most weeks. I'm sorry to say my reason for having to leave him back then was somewhat dire. He was drinking a litre and a half/3 pints, of neat vodka a day and beer besides. I knew all about his drinking when I met him, but he was funny, the life and soul of the party, as most alcoholics are ............until they get home or in the cold light of day. I was also drinking a great deal, having never been a drinker in my life. He diddnt encourage me to drink, I did that all by myself, hand up to that one.

Anyways long story short. He had realised I wanted to leave him and he wasn't having that, so it was death threats all around and bricks through windows ~ he meant business. I actually had to flee to France from England to get away and ended up with a lovely man there. We were there twelve years until Paul passed away. Then I returned to England. Right from the start my ex was glad to see me, had completely let go of all that happened in the past and I wanted that to, what's done is done.

So yes, seen him most weeks over the last eight years. The vodka had taken its toll, although he hasn't drank that for years (that I do know). This last two years has seen him suffer the nasty effects of chronic alcoholism, meaning cirrohsis of the liver, end stage. Terrible things start happening when the liver starts to die off, I never realised just how much life depends on the state of the liver. My friend has had yellow jaundice, massive fluid retention in legs and even worse, tummy. This is called Asities. Can't be "cured" but they put a wide tube into the tum and drain large amounts off. The fluid is back within weeks.

Well, he has been more in hospital than out this last two years. This time five weeks and over Christmas. Despite the Dr's doing absolutely everything, he passed away on Frieday 13th 2017 aged 55. The consultants cirtificate stated "end stage alcoholic liver disease". I must stress here that it's not only alcohol which causes damage to the liver and other organs, it's illegal drugs, and even prescription meds.

If this could help one of you see the reality of liver disease, he wouldn't have died in vein.

We all do things we shouldn't do and quite honestly, yes, we have to die of something. Doesn't mean we have to totally illiminate our particular want or need, it's helpful to cut right down. Yes EASIER said that done and don't I just know it.

If anybody has questions regarding the realities of liver disease, I will try and answer truthfully as I see (and saw) it.I do also understand that most alcoholics just can't cut down, it doesn't work like that, it has to be ilimenated altogether. Xxxxxxxx

emgreen · Jan 26, 2017, 07:22 AM

Thanks for the heads up. It's nice of you to carry that message to others.

splitimage · Jan 26, 2017, 07:23 AM

I'm really sorry about your friend. End stage liver disease is truly an awful way to die. You're right, for alcoholics, the only option is to quit completely, if they don't want to end up in a really horrible place.

On that note, today I am 8 months sober.

splitimage

emgreen · Jan 26, 2017, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by splitimage

...today I am 8 months sober.

Keep on chugging! Do you find that the compulsion to drink has passed with time? I've found that time is a friend of sobriety.

childofchaos831 · Jan 26, 2017, 09:34 AM

Going for a pain shot today... the iv sedation is heavy narcs... 40 days sober, and sending thoughts into the universe that this one doesn't send me spinning... the first 2 did but the 3rd didn't... just nervous at this point.

Justbyou · Jan 26, 2017, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by b1ghr0ll3r

Today is Australia Day, a day where I'd normally use or drink. I've decided to sit this one out at home clean and sober & it's miserable as hell. Can't wait to just go to sleep & it be tomorrow

Good for you for recognizing that it was best to stay home. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Erebos · Jan 27, 2017, 07:18 AM

New to this part of the site. 3 days not using. Actually its not been so bad, but the weekend is coming up and I nearly always slip.
Ah were here's hoping.

splitimage · Jan 27, 2017, 09:07 AM

Emgreen,

In answer to your question - yes the obsession with drinking has lessened with time. I vary rarely get a strong craving now, and just occassionally have fleeting thoughts that a drink would be nice, that I can dismiss pretty easily. But I also pay pretty close attention to HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired.) If I'm not any of those things, I can safely go into a pub and order something like wings without wanting a beer, and just enjoy my gingerale. But if I have one or more of them going on, I steer clear of any place that serves alcohol, because even if I don't drink, I'm going to be miserable, wishing that I could.

splitimage

Justbyou · Jan 27, 2017, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erebos

New to this part of the site. 3 days not using. Actually its not been so bad, but the weekend is coming up and I nearly always slip.
Ah were here's hoping.

Welcome Erebos!

Congrats on 3 days clean!! That is amazing. The weekends used to be tough for me too. Do you have anything planned for the weekend? Maybe getting some things on your schedule ahead of time to keep you busy will help a bit. Just keep in mind there doesn't have to be a slip.

childofchaos831 · Jan 27, 2017, 01:42 PM

So far so good on using urges... not having cravings, but urges for SI have gotten higher...

Naiwen · 03:23 PM

So far, been clean for a whole 2 weeks, and been buying stuff I want all this time, instead of just taking them from the stores and shops. Very proud of myself today. Let's hope I can keep it up.

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