Daily addiction check in #1

Sounds like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to me, UpDownAround...A psychology method designed to stop negative thoughts (DBT is somewhat the same). To be honest, though, I go to a Tools Meeting through AA which lists the tools as abstenance (duh!), meetings, sponsor, telephone, readings, etc. (not the same as those you refer to). Using these tools are supposed to help one stay sober.

Day #4 without a meeting...The isolation feels right. I just don't feel like dealing with anyone these days. While 4 days may not sound like much to some people, I usually attend 5-6 a week. I think I'm going into one of my hibernation stages.

Yes, RI is CBT based. I haven't done it before so this is all new to me. I think it will work better for me than abstinence focused meetings. I haven't really had trouble abstaining. I have had situations that I know could be triggers that I have caused me too be wary but no trouble. So I really don't have anything new to say at abstinence based meetings except a higher day count each time. No slips, no close calls. History says it will be past 6 months before I think about starting back.

I'm glad to hear it, UpDownAround. It's great that the cravings don't seem to bother you. I hope you're able to make it beyond 6 months to...life! All I know is when I drank I did stupid things! Keep on the path, bro.

A day from hell yesterday and all I wanted to do was pick up a bottle and drink

Here is an odd tidbit - there have been a few times when I thought back to memories of good times that involved drinking or using since I stopped. Nearly all this reminiscing was done while discussing abstinence here or in a meeting.

I think I need to get better at making the right decision when that same old line of thinking comes up after several months of success - maybe I can control it. I usually decide I can and don't drink right away. It's (an invalid) confirmation of control; even though I decide I can drink, I don't until an in control social drinker would. The really tough part is that there is an assumption of a rational mental state and that is often not the case when I make the decision; I am usually hypomanic and utterly convinced that the logic behind the decision makes sense. My hope is that I can learn to use a decision making methodology like RI's and get it so ingrained that it sticks with me even when I am a genius.

Two days without..



I have no motivation to type

I want to do things like watch TV shows but I can't. I just lay there in bed without moving.

My adrenal glands are fried. So is my brain.

2 months + 2 weeks...

I feel like my mood roller coaster is headed down, but I am not too concerned about slipping. I have made it into the zone where I doubt seriously I will drink or use from a momentary lapse but it hasn't been long enough for the "I'm better" thinking to kick in.

But you didn't! Score one for greentires4me!!!

3 months clean today! Hoping to be physically able to get to my home group and get my key tag this evening...

Congratulations childofchaos831!! ☺

Nice, childofchaos!

Three months is HUGE, childofchaos! I hope you got some mojo from your group's response tonight! I'm sure they celebrated right along with you!

Any amount of sobriety is an accomplishment whether it's a few hours, a few days, months, etc.
It's hard, but achievable if you really put an effort into it and believe that you can do it.

My friend invited this other chick over to his house only which she takes out liquor like f sakes I cannot even drink and their drinking in front of me you know how much of a temptation that is? What a piss off I finally left smelling of cigarette smoke it was ridiculous I wished they hadn't both smoked all they talked about was their mental health issues in front of me and when I said something about something that happened to me he gave me a dirty look like not to give him away it's like for f sakes why doesn't he wanna be honest with her he's always honest with me! Anyway I can't believe he actually said clonazepam keeps him away from codeine!(he is an x meth and heroin addict)

All her stories were about when she did this drunk or when she was high on this or when she had an eating disorder but she just laughed it off!

I am not sure why I am telling this to you all but I was so tempted and it wasn't fair of him to invite me over without asking if it was okay for his friend to be drunk or drinking in front of me....so rude!

Temptation happens, but it is really annoying when someone who should know better is a party to it. Good on you for resisting.

That was a crappy thing to put you through, greentires. Even with over two years in, it sucks that he put you in a situation where temptation knocked at your door. I'm glad you shared what happened...That's a healthy reaction to the unhealthy situation you found yourself in. We both know the advantages of continuous sobriety. Congrats on maintaining!

Day 12 for me.

I was really triggered yesterday as my housemate called in sick to work so she could stay home and drink. She ordered a 26'er of vodka - one of my preferred drinks. I was so tempted to order along with her. Fortunately I had to volunteer down at the Distress Centre last evening, so I had reason not to drink, so I just hibernated in my room until it was time to leave. But it didn't help that the entire apartment smelt like Apple Vodka.

splitimage

Well done splitimage and Greenfield! ☺

Congrats on Day 12! As I wrote to greentires, it's extremely inconsiderate to create an atmosphere which threatens someone elses' attempts to stay sober. At twelve days, you did a fantastic job of fighting the urge. That's a big victory for you! Since your housemate stayed home just to drink, it sounds like she might have a problem, too. If this continues, & your finances allow, I'd seriously consider changing your living situation. Keep on with the great resolve!

I blew it and drank yesterday. Feel really awful today. So it's back to day 1.

splitimage

I'm back going to meetings again. When I get paranoid it's hard for me to sit through meetings, or to share. I have a quite a few 24 hours of sobriety, so I don't get the urge to drink, but I know meetings help me with my sobriety as well as my mental health. Isolating is a bad space for me, & if I do it too long I wind up in bad mental spaces. The past few years, I've made an attempt to form more friendships in the program to prevent me from disappearing so easily. While I've shared that I have bipolar disorder & disappear sometimes, my AA friends call me to encourage me along. AA is about more than getting sober...It's sometimes like learning to live again.

Just keep trying splits! As long as you dontf give up altogether, you can still do it!

splitimage - if you are are back to abstaining it is just a slip IMO. Hang in there.

emgreen - I hear you about the social aspect. I don't get calls checking up on me. My wife and family know I was drinking/using and quit, but they never ask me about how it is going and if I am sticking to it. The closest they came to that is when I wanted something specific for dinner and was going to run out and get it and my wife expressed concern that I was going to get alcohol, so I asked one of the kids to come along just so she would know that was not the case. Kind of pissed me off that the only feedback I get is suspicion. I have started going to the RI meetings and there I don't report. Most of the positive feedback I get is here.

EDIT - oh yeah - hanging in - 2 months 2 weeks and some days

another edit - I should ask my t to ask me on each visit. that is almost every week.

yet another edit - I left my t a phone message asking her to make me check in. I have no reason to lie to her; if I were to slip I would want to talk about it.

One week sober ^^

Drum roll please I am on my anniversary day so this what the sober app is showing: