[moodycow]

8 months ago my mother died and i took the first step to becoming the pathetic alcohol dependant exscuse for a human i am now ! 50% of the time i hate what i have become ,50% of the time i dont care i hate being sober and i hate being alive i want to be drunk 24/7 .. i have attended a help focused place a few times and disociate most of the time i am there. i am embarressed ashamed and at my witt ends.

[Moogieotter]

Getting sober is a helluva thing. Keep trying though - it's worth it!

moogs

[Angelique67]

Hi mc, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this trouble. Are you going to any AA meetings or anything like that? Can you talk to your therapist about this? What does he/she say?

Losing loved ones is definitely life changing. From the time my best friend died my life started a slow descent. I'm worried about when my mother passes too, even though I have very little relationship with her. Please don't hate yourself. You're doing the best you can right now.

[avlady]

you could go to AA meetings? don't give up, the negative thoughts will destroy how far you've come so far. i hope you have some type of support system, if not, try to get a doc and t

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm sorry to hear about the death of your mothermoody cow I can not imagine how traumatic this must have been for you.

Faced with extreme adversities and pain we all develop coping mechanisms at the time in order to try to numb the pain.

I think that you might be at a point now where you're evaluating how drinking has turned out for you over the last 8 months as you said: "at my witts end".

I agree with moogs opinion that being sober will stand you in good stead in the long run because you don't like what you're doing.

I second what avlady says, don't give up.

There is always hope!

*holding thumbs that this is now the positive step and change forward for you that will serve your own mental health well in the long run.

Thank you for sharing this.

[waggiedog]

Good day and hello to a fellow UK member!! I'm so so sorry to hear of your challenges regarding drinking. As one who's been there and basically even though I haven't had a drink for two years, apparently I was and always will be alcoholic, I agree with that as at any given time I'm only a sip away from going down that slippery dark slope.
Please don't say you are ambberessed and ashamed, it's not shaming and the fact you're here means you may have reached rock bottom. I'm not a Dr but if you want to stop, it could be dangerous to your health. My two last partners were alcoholic so I know the score here. Can you PLEASE go to your family Dr and ask for help, only you can do that. Remember nobody will force you into anything, it's just my worry of possible side effects when anyone stops drinking. You can't just stop one day, I have known people to have ceizers or the DT's and you don't want that hunny. I do do feel for you so let me know how you get on. Hugs. Xx

[waggiedog]

P.S. Sorry of the loss of your mother, that in itself will depress and upset you. I also lost a parent three weeks ago, he was 80 and I found him because I lived with him. I'm ok about it. Hugs.xxx

[moodycow]

thanks guys for all your replies they are much appreciated ��, I am due to do a supervised dettox soon but as I have been in crisis for last few weeks I am unsure if now is the right time ..

[Nicky123]

Hi Moodycow, how are you doing? Sorry to hear about the death of your mother, it's a difficult time for you. It is really hard to stop drinking and from my own experience there was really nothing anyone could say that would get through to me that it was very serious. I was a binge drinker but when the binge would happen it would last for as long as I could physically get it into me. It's no easy feat to stop. I did all the usual things to stop, attending AA for many years but it never helped(that's not to say it wouldn't help you, it's just not for everyone). I eventually stopped 6 years ago because I was tired of humiliating myself. Being picked up off the street so many times, falling, smashing my head open(several times) etc etc and feeling so ashamed and embarrassed that the only way I could deal with it was to have another drink until I couldn't stomach it. I'm glad to be sober but there have been times that I feel that I would love a drink, just to get away from reality for a while but I know where it will lead and I'm so weary of it all. I wish you well. There is never a good time to stop because when we stop we are so raw and fragile. Whether you decide to stop now or in the future, keep in mind to have your detox supervised as you've said. It's a safer and less painful way. Good luck.

Wishing you well. I hope you are on the road to recovery and feeling better! It's SO HARD, but it's worth it in the end! I have dealt with alcoholism, both in my family and with myself, you can do it!

[nancymmoore]

The first step is to accept to yourself that you do have an addiction. Once this is complete, the rest is easy. I strongly believe that having a support group is immensely helpful for curbing any type of addiction. Finding out the best treatment options and rehab centres are also important. I was addicted to codeine for more than 6 years and I had joined in Edgewood Health Network, an addiction treatment center in Toronto for a rehabilitation. Now I am completely relieved from my addiction. All the best

[moodycow]

thankyou everyone for all your replies , I did the dettox and am on drugs to help with the cravings ,having been doing quite well until I stopped some other meds recently and all the dark thoughts came back .

[Sabrina]

Hi moodycow. Only saw this thread now. I'm so pleased you're being helped though I'm sorry that the dark thoughts returned. Please get further help for that, if you can.

I've been sober a little over a month now but I know I've had it easier than most and didn't have to go through a detox or anything. Being sober though, has been a freeing and relieving feeling. I can only hope the same for you.

Sending you strength