[splitimage]

Thanks for the pics Bizi -everything looks fabulous.

Congratulations on getting your Continuing Ed done. I still have to do mine for the year, and I have to do 20 hours for my CPA licence. I've bought the on-line course package, it's just a question of finding the motivation to work through it.

splitimage

[bizi]

Mine were easy.
hope yours are easy.
I had some down time yesterday, hubby went to a friends house.
So I just finished doing them and printed off the certificates. I bought an online courses unlimited for 2 years so maybe I will do them again in january then I won't have to worry about doing them for almost 2 years if that makes sense.
have a great day!
bizi

[bizi]

last friday we saw the movie a star is born it was a great movie!!!!
Not drinking at my friends house last night was challenging. everyone was drinking. They are so nice...and easy. It was difficult for me, I have social anxiety issues. I just sit and watch, don't have much to contribute.
I did discover that brian, our friend has memory issues too. So that was ....can't come up with a good adjective.
But it was a relief to find somebody like me (he is a bit younger than me).
If that makes sense.

bizi

[splitimage]

Good for you for not giving in and drinking at your friend's house. I have social anxiety too, and would have found it difficult.


I think I know what you mean about meeting someone with a similar health issue to you, it's not exactly reassurance, but sort of like it.

So what was your favourite part of the trip?

[bizi]

The klimt exposition of course.
then The d'orsay museum and finally the musical events.
Organ concert in notre dames cathedral in paris.
then the music dinner in prague.
thanks for asking.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[bizi]

I just realized this evening that I have been hypo manic, for weeks. Vacations do this to me. Alot of this is mental. I am sure if I told jeff he would question me. I know me best.
I need to be very careful.
bizi

[bizi]

Good morning.
I think I am coming down....
slept in today shut off my alarm, I was supposed to take a shower but just could not get up. I will take one tomorrow before our lunch and getting my hair done at 1;30.
I will have a new gal. Hopefully I will like her.
When I am hypo my writing is off. I looked at some figures from before our trip and it did not look my hand writing. Even now I am having a hard time typing making typos left and right. Having to correct many sentences.
While in europe, time flew by...I hardly remember a thing. That is what happens when I go on vacation. We rush thru things.
I think my memory is so bad due to an intake problem, maybe I am ADD.
We drank a lot of alcohol on our trip. It was me that kept us up until midnight the last night when we had to get up at 4am...then had a 24 hour travel time the next day.
My routine is off and doesn't come naturally. I skip steps and move onto something else.
yesterday My work was fine but am tired. Saw 5 people yesterday which is a lot for me usually I see 4 clients. my day starts at 10am this morning giving me plenty of time to post and surf the boards.
I still feel hypo.
I was hypo when ordering all of those meal plans. Got confused when one was coming then 2 were scheduled for the same delivery date. I was able to fix the dates. sigh

I am starting to analyze jeffs behavior.
He procrastinates things that are his responsibility around the house.
I am calling him out on this.
I sort of feel like he wants me to do every thing and I am now resisting.
I gave the check book to him to do months ago, to get him involved with money matters.
WE need to give money back to the line of credit once we figure out the check book. We moved alot of money from savings as well.
I think booking the trip to paris was an impulsive/ hypo thing, we charged it to our line of credit. Then I was really hypo getting ready for the trip.

So this line of credit is like a charge card with good interest rate: 5.9%
This is the first time in many years that we have debt out side of our regular car loans and mortgage. Since I am coming down I can see these things more clearly now.
Jeff doesn't question my actions and goes along with what ever I want to do. This puts all of our spending, finances on me, though he is doing the check book now. WE have never had a budget.we spend freely, going out to eat for lunch and and some dinners, but go out on the weekends as well

Buying facial treatments was impulsive as well.
I put them on my credit card.
I was confused where I bought Euros from either checking or savigs. yesterday I figured out they came out of savings. That is where I thought my hand writing was not my writing. and asked jeff about it.
sigh
I hope I don't come down to hard.
bizi

[bizi]

Went to bed at 12:45am.
Woke up once to pee then got up at 10;45...9 hours.
I needed the sleep.
I feel better this morning.
My routine this morning seemed more natural and not half hazard like last night and yesterday.

On to my 2nd cup of coffee.
When you are manic to do cut back on your coffee intake?
Looking back over the past several years I have had episodes before during and after the event. Never reached mania so that is good.
I am not going to florida with my family this coming march. Just can't handle that....My mother turns 80 this year. Feb 3rd...need to come up with something special for her.
I never did tell jeff that I was hypo. He doesn't see it.
Or rather we don't talk about it.
Maybe he does see it, Maybe I will ask him at lunch today. Chicken and sausage gumbo. yum.
Have a good day yall.
bizi

[bizi]

I had a pamper day at the aveda school.
started with a $10 donation for breast cancer and got a spin on the prize wheel.
I won a 90 minute facial. So I asked if I could schedule it right after my hair color and
they said yes. so that was awesome.
My new student was great for my retouch of color, my grays look high lighted so that is good. I do an overall high light 2 times a year.
So my facial included arms legs feet and hands massage in addition to the facial which included your chest are as well(decolletage) . She was very good and took her time, it went over 90 minutes and I felt pampered. Self care! The only thing is when I went home there was white areas on my face that should not have been there. I called and spoke to the supervisor and reported saying that I should have been given a mirror and she said that I should have. She was going to talk to the student about it and thanked me profusely for calling.
These are students after all. I still feel like I have been pampered all after noon.
I am very happy with the student who did my hair. She was efficient and I will have her the next 2 months at least depending upon when she graduates . So I am happy with that.
Jeff went to the festival and had fun. Some lady asked him to dance. He had fun.
bizi

[splitimage]

Bizi,

Your afternoon of pampering sounds just wonderful. I love Aveda products - just wish they weren't so expensive, and as far as I know we don't have a school here.

Glad you took the time to treat yourself.

splitimage

[bizi]

Discounted root touch up hair color= $35, $10 tip= $45 for hair stylist.
$10 donation for breast cancer= free 90 minute facial, $10 tip=$20 for facial.
$65 for 4 hours of pampering....priceless.
bizi

[bizi]

I have this little shower cap from a hotel that I used today to take a shower today. worked great! I took a shower in little time. Maybe I will shower more often now???


Had breakfast at the hub city dinner like usual. Had a cajun sausage omelette with sauteed mushrooms, peppers and onions, with a side of grits and a wonderful grilled biscuit. Had bloody maries with breakfast.


Then we went to a festival today here called festival acadiens and creoles.
Bought a few items: a metal fleur de le with a carved wooden red heart in the middle. Kelly Guidry is the artist and we have admired his work for over a decade. Have always wanted something of his so this stuck out and today was the day. I have no idea where to put it. It is medium size. In the office, I think it should go next to the large picture of jackson square with the cathedral...horse and buggy's present with ladies and gents. Every one wore hats, even the children..

I will try to take a picture once we hang the art work...
Tonight we go to our friends house for dinner. Paul's girl friend from hong kong is cooking. We bought him some cajun coasters since he has been using his ex's ones the last time we were there. These are brightly colored campbell soup cans with louisiana crawfish coming out of the top of the can.

He will like them.

bizi

[bizi]

I drank too much today.
Need to get back to my abstinence tomorrow thru thursday.
when am I going to give up alcohol for good???
bizi

[bizi]

I had 14 drinks over the course of the day and never felt drunk.
We can't afford to drink this much.
It is bad for my health and weight.
I stopped by fat pats on the way home and had 2 beers.
hubby did not know...that is I don't think so.
bizi
My plan was to not drink monday thru thursday.
so much for my plan.
bizi
now I have eaten half a box of bottle caps candy.
sigh
was on the computer so much last night....sigh
bizi

[bizi]

I won't be posting much.....

[splitimage]

Hope you're ok.
splitimage

[bizi]

took a shower and washed my hair.

[bizi]

I am sorry that I have been absent.
I have been on the computer so much.

I thought by signing off/taking a break that I would be on the computer less.
So I said I would take a break from all of the forums that I post on.
So what happened instead is that I spent hours on face book.

no better....
So here I am back after one week being gone.
I also felt like a failure because I was not making good strides in self care.
My drinking has increased.
My weight has gone up.
I am not taking my vitamins like I should.
Am eating some junk food although That is somewhat under control.
I was getting down on myself.
I am so over weight....I could scream.
My drinking has got to stop.
I just bought 2 -4packs of a beer that I like. It is called ghost in the machine. A local brewery beer with a high percentage alcohol content.

We have done several halloween things that I half forget because I drank so much....
sigh
We are having a friend over for dinner tomorrow night Talapia lemon pepper and a big salad.
thursday night am going to a musical chicago with my girl friend melissa.
She is a therapist and I hide my drinking from her.
Friday night is the university symphony concert where the members will be dressed in costumes.
I am bringing a new friend of mine. Her name is karen. She does not drive.
So we are picking her up at 6;30, concert starts at 7;30 but we want to get there in plenty of time to get a seat. doors open at 7pm.

She is a new friend of mine that I met at sandras health food cafe.
We eat together 3-4 times per week for the past 3 weeks.
I really like her.
She has a photographic mind and tells interesting stories of her life.
She has a history of people abandoning her.
I really like her and want to help her if I can.
I brought her a satsuma orange today. She had never had one.
She needs a recliner she is on her bed in her living room.
She has chronic fatigue syndrome and lot so of allergies.

Brings her own soap to wash her hands with.
Unfortunately, she found some things in her food so that she is limited in what she can eat.
She is a vegetarian and gluten free.
I really feel like I can/ want to help her.
She says that I am the first person to really listen to her.
That made me feel sad for her. I have hugged her twice since I have met her. She is someone to eat lunch with she is there 3-4 times a week.
I can't imagine not being able to drive. She lives in public housing and lives below the poverty level. She depends upon handicapped transportation and has to schedule rides 2 weeks in advance. and she can't schedule more than one day....each day she has to call in for the next 2 weeks. I don't know how she does this.
She has been back here since august first. She lived with her mother a month before moving to her new apartment september 1st. I don't know how she did that because her mother abused her her whole life.

Any way.
I like her and want to help her.
bizi

[bizi]

I like being busy. Actually sat and watched seinfeld this evening because jeff needed the computer so I had time to watch 2 episodes from 1030-1130, and then go to bed. Used a heating pad on my back because it feels good. It is the kind you microwave and it produces a moist heat...some how!
Jeff is very busy this year with school and getting halloween decorations up has been challenging. He has some time today this afternoon and then cancelled lessons for wednesday. IT is supposed to rain wednesday night. hoping it does that after the witching hours! We will have a lot of kids again(hopefully) and I have alot of candy to pass out. Have some rice crispie treats too. Which is new. I forgot I have some individually wrapped butter finger bars in the fridge if I need them.
I won't have lunch with karen today because she is getting her new glasses today. So I will have lunch with Bill if he is there. Maybe I can call niko to see if he is up to lunch. Saw virginia and eddy at lunch chatted with them for a minute, he liked the orchestra halloween concert too.
I have another light day today.
Tomorrow I will meet with the small business developement office to discuss franchising my business. I meet with the director, my guess is that I will then meet with whom ever I am supposed to meet with, I don't know.
We shall see.
bizi

[bizi]

We pretty much ran out of candy. I had to have Jeff get out MY favorite butterfingers bar that were in the freezer.

I did not want to have to resort to ending the night early or pretending to give out candy. the kids never notice because there is so much to look at.

We had a whole hour left for tricker treaters. I would put my hand into the empty black caldron and then pretend to put a piece of candy into their bag. That happened to us our first halloween. lol

When it was all said and done I had 3 pieces left, of which 2 were found on the ground in front of me.
And the rain held off until 8pm right after the haunting hours were over.
Supposed to be a bad storm rolling thru. It only rained a bit then it stopped. Thank goodness the weather man was wrong.

Jeff said it was his last halloween. (I don't believe him).

It takes so much effort to decorate the out side of the house like he did. He has done this for years. Now the job of putting it all away.
He bought a new fog machine, and made a fog chiller. So that the fog lays low on the ground. It was windy so the fog raised up more quickly than usual.
Lots of kids and parents, it was a successful night.
bizi

[splitimage]

Your halloween sounds fun. I'm glad you didn't run out of candy. I kind of miss seeing the little kids dressed up in their costumes, since I live in an apartment building, we don't get trick er treaters.

splitimage

[bizi]

Had my first AF day in a while.
weight was scary high at 186.3. today 185.5
I measured myself...boy was that enlightening.
I kept track of my weights and measurements....there was a time when I weighed 125....
Those were some hypomania days(doing the stair masters machine too much) where I was 122(not documented) and looking at trying to get to 120. That is when I fell and broke my collar bone.That stopped the mania in its track. And I realized that I was looking really bad, too thin to fast. My bone density test said I was osteopenia. and my vit d level was low. So now I take 5,000 units of d3 every day for the most part and now take 1000 mg of calcium. divided doses.

anyway. I know how to lose weight...it is just being disciplined to do it.
Went to gym last night and walked 3.1 miles, a 5k so that was good.
Used the water massage bed so that felt good.
Up this morning before hubby. Need to get him up. He came home from school yesterday sick and went to bed. He has been dehydrated and that made him dizzy, nauseated, sweating. he was still in bed when I got home. I had put a crock pot of pork roast and onions and carrots and green beans and cream of mushroom soup on yesterday morning so dinner was ready to go.
I need to see if he is up yet.
bizi

[bizi]

"A life without discipline is a life without joy." ..........................Muriel B

Wait a minute. Isn't joy a matter of doing what we want? Isn't freedom the state of never having to do what we don't want to do? And isn't discipline - which we learned from our parents - the burden of having to do what we don't want to do?

Actually, joy is the freedom to do what needs to be done. And gaining that freedom takes discipline. Why? Without discipline, we usually ended up doing what is familiar to us. And our experience clearly tells us that old thinking and old behavior bring us anything but joy.

It takes discipline to say no when we need to - when ever fiber of our being may be urging us to give in again. It takes discipline to stand up and be counted when our pattern has been to fade into the wallpaper and blend in with any situation.

Discipline isn't easy or fun, but it's the best friend we can have. To practice self-discipline is to move through our days with a sure sense that we'll get where we're going.

[bizi]

another af day.
came to trivia late because I got a nail fixed. Then ate dinner there off the food bar. Shrimp with cheese and tomatoes and some chicken soup on the top and microwaved it.
Sat in the bar while they played trivia. jeff was there and he was started on his 2nd big 13% beers and had not eaten. Really stupid. I tried to get him to eat a reuben or something. So I got some cheese chunks and he ate some. Great tasting cheese. I probably ate 2/3rds of the cheese. I probably ate 3.5 oz.
Any way Jeff left early to go to his students jazz combo concert so I paid for his bill then left early telling our friends that I am dieting and it is hard to not drink and stay in the bar. They understood.
So I left came here and ended up stepping into some large amount of cat vomit and smearing it all over the floor. I hate that. So now I have a big mess to clean up. It was probably hattie. hazel never gorges herself, she is a slight cat and hatty is a bruiser.
Anyway I had better go clean it up.
bizi

[splitimage]

Bizi

Sorry you came home to cat vomit, and then stepped in it. That's got to be way up there on the yuck scale.

splitimage