Daily Check In #3

Had sort of a wake up call. I'm drinking way too much to the point of not remembering things every weekend. Need to just stop completely, as it doesn't seem I can just have one or two drinks. So. Goodbye, alcohol, I hope. Sobriety: day 2.

Welcome littleearthquakes. It's great that you recognized your alcohol use was becoming problematic. We're here to support you in your sober journey.
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I'm a little nervous. I'm almost out of Antabuse, and can't afford to get more right away, as I seriously overspent this month and am going into Feb. with a deficit.


I'm still totally committed to staying sober, it's just going to be a bit harder without that safety net.

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I understand; I'm also nervous. I went over my prescribed dose of Xanax this month, so I'm having to take less and it's taking a toll on my anxiety this month.

Been snorting a small line of 30-40mg ketamine because it wears off after a few days and I get really melancholic or worse, numb. 4 days behind on my Concerta because I'm waiting for the doctor to increase the dose. Filling my lost days in with Vyvanse. Addicted to nicotine spray although I quit smoking 3 months ago. Idk when I can get off the nicotine spray. Drank two drinks of alcohol when skiing even though I knew it would make me feel depressed. Doesn't take much alcohol to do that. Got rid of the DMT because I was afraid that I would use it and then get locked up in the psych ward for the rest of my life. Got rid of the MDMA too. Haven't touched my Ativan. I have 19 left and only use them in case of panic attacks.

I think I'm doing good so far in terms of addiction. It's almost non-existent compared to what it used to be.. The point is to be sober which is why I also want to get off nicotine spray.

Made it through a wickedly strong craving yesterday. Distracted myself until it was gone. Feeling proud of myself.
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Well done splitimage!

I reached 1,300 days today sober from alcohol.

It’s the pits though I have possible kidney stones I have had pain for 2 weeks the hospital thought it was UTI then kidney infection. But it’s definitely Stones my doctor is thinking. I am severe pain the most I have have taken is ibuprofen...nothing more and nothing less.

Congratulations on hitting 1300 days greentires. That's awesome. I aspire to get into 4 digits on the days.

I am so sorry you have kidney stones. I've heard that they're incredibly painful. I have a friend who gets them periodically.


Are you going to have to have ultrasound treatment to blast them into smaller pieces that can pass?

Well I was at the hospital 4 times first they diagnosed me with UTI then a kidney infection i took antibiotics that made everything worse. I went to my doctors on Thursday and explained or gave him a symptoms list of everything that has happened. And he said he thinks it’s something immune system something or rather. Then I showed him my left flank and it’s swollen like really swollen. But not as much as Monday. I harsh lost weight the easy way puking but it smelled like sulphur which totally means kidneys in my mind last night and every other 2 nights a week. Always seemed to be the nights I receive my meds from the pharmacy on delivery. Yeah so I did my bloodwork yesterday waited hours on end to get it drawn a literal hour between the time I sat down to the time i went in. And about another 20-25 mins before I left. By the time I got home it was 10:50am and I left at 8:15 at my house.

I Thought I would be able to sleep but I feel like crap. Someone keeps texting me and Facebook calling me at 4am it’s now 4:30am. Lol. I went to sleep at 12:30am after I took meds someone dropped off money they owed me at 10:45pm. I wanted to go to bed early but I guess not.

I’m going back to sleep for now.

Still tooling along - 587 days now. Not posting as much; starting to really think of myself as a non drinker and about the only time I think about the subject of drinking lately is when I get on a forum to discuss not drinking. It's been several months since I last thought about doing it and even then the urge was easy to kill.

That's great UpDownAround that you're no longer thinking about drinking. Hope it continues for you.

So, going for day 1 sober today.

I have been doing better the past few months but ultimately I’m still drinking too much. I managed a week and a half sober in January but in the end I gave in to cravings.

I need to polish up on my coping mechanisms. I’ll get there though. I want to beat this.

Congrats on ONE day!

Everyday is a day I feel I take for granted because I choose not to drink. But go into a liquor store and buy liquor for those friends who had their wallet stolen. Some times I start shopping for me in the store that’s when I know it’s time to leave and put everything back on the shelves. That’s usually when I get carded at the till 2 pieces of ID they say. I pull it out they were like Oh! I said “ what was it because I put everything back on the shelf or looked at my phone while I was in the store? Or I am look really young? come in Here every second day to buy liquor? Or we always like carding the females instead of the males? That’s okay I guess I will take this as compliment...” they looked at me stunned and had nothing to say I gave her a tip $$ and walked out. I watched her the entire time i was in the liquor store glancing up and down from looking and reading of bottles. Since I am epipen allergic to pineapple and so many alcohols are made with pineapple like vodka. I cannot carry it in a can if another can has exploded on it for instant and if I was in the vicinity of it open drink or can of it I have instant hives. Anyway back to the liquor store I watched as the kids of the street not even 19 legal age to buy came in to buy. They asked me outside the store if I could buy something from behind the counter for them I said no, on the way in and next thing I know they are in the store buying liquor and stealing lemons and limes from the fridge.

Everyone around me drinks and does drugs. I do psych meds they never smoke it in front of me whatever drug of choice it is. They are respectful because I do not do it.

Please whatever you do if you decide to drink mix your hard liquor. Do not I repeat do not drink it straight. It’s hard on the throat, stomach, liver and kidneys. It’s a form of pickling yourself early and too fast for what it’s suppose to be.

Congrats on your first day again!

I'm turning the big 50 today, and I'm having a really hard time dealing with it. Thanks to combined mental health and addiction issues, my life in no way resembles what I expected it to be at this age.

But at least it will be a sober birthday.

And looking on the bright side, my 40's kind of sucked with the double merrygoround of depression and psych hospitilazations, relapses and rehabs. I feel like it was a wasted decade. So my 50's have to be better, right?

I know it's only a day at a time for me, but I'm looking forward to making this a sober decade.

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😀 Happy Birthday splitimage! 😀

Happy birthday @splitimage!

The Spiritual Consequences of Alcohol Consumption | The Costa Rica News

I can't throw the ketamine away. I don't think I'll buy more though. It's just there. I snort a very low dose of it once or twice a week.

I'm just really sick of drugs. All they did was waste my time and make me fear death more. At one point, they made me lose my self respect.

But psychedelic.. ketamine is.. dissociative.. I'll be honest, If I'm offered a chillax time on the couch in the living room with friends to do shrooms together, I would happily accept. But what that could do to my mental health I don't know..

I believe in you tweaky.

It’s taken me many years to move away from using drugs. In the end I had to accept that although I enjoyed the experiences they had to offer that it just wasn’t conducive to my mental health.

I did try to buy some Cocaine last year but my dealer screwed me over and disappeared with my money. Probably for the best.

It can be hard adjusting to life without drugs. It can seem boring or unfulfilling but there are other normal human experiences out there that can be just as good.

I think it’s also good you can recognise the negative impact drugs can have. Took me a long time to realise that. They really can be self destructive even if you aren’t addicted.

Craving alcohol

I’m craving a life that I am not consumed by thinking about alcohol or opioid medication or weed.

I had kidney stones and the doctor sent me home with morphine. I didn’t abuse it I also didn’t like the way it made me feel. It did take away the pain but made me start to go loopy after awhile. So I stopped taking it. Then on Sunday I fell in my bathroom onto my right shoulder/arm/ elbow. I gave myself a soft tissue injury it hurts like a b itch. They gave me hydromorphine when I was leaving over kill anyone? I have taken like one and i didn’t like the way it made me feel. I used to take it all the time back in the day before opioid crisis was a big deal. I was prescribed it for pain I never over abused it like I did other things. I also wouldn’t drink when I took a pill of it, i was careful. A careful alcoholic is there such a thing?

I am around sorts of drugs all the time everyday even cigarettes and alcohol. But I choose not to give in. You can too tweaky.

Greentires4me,

Well done on not abusing the pain meds. I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself.


I too wish that I could stop thinking about alcohol completely. It's not nearly as bad now, as it was a couple of months ago. But yesterday, I had a really strong craving that it took me a couple of hours to work through.


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Hugs to everyone and hope you can beat it and get healthy. I’ve had relatives with addictions to alcohol, gambling, opiates. My aunt beat alcoholism.

I opened my sober app it read 1,313 days sober... 3 years 7 months 2 days.