Daily Check In #4

How do you get muscle relaxers refilled when you use them for sleep and anxiety. I’m not looking for an answer. Just making a statement.

I got asked today why I was taking Valium. Is it that big of a deal to be prescribed that? I know my Pdoc isn’t always the brightest when it comes to benzos. The ER the other week didn’t make a big deal but they did comment on it and suggested I maybe try klonopin instead.

If anyone has ever seen a painting of Yellowstone falls then you’ll recognize this picture. Except the awesome part is I actually took this picture.

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I wasn’t sure where to post the photo. I’m having a hard time navigating taptalk. Does anyone know how to find a general form without searching specific topics? My options are subscribed, participated, inbox, new topic (but no forum to post it in)

My son and me outside of the old faithful inn.

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White water rafting on the Snake river.

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Apparently we were doing class III-IV

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I want to quit drugs and put the time into productive things

I quit weed yesterday. I slept early and had crazy dreams. Today I'm stopping the phenibut CT from 300mg (Which isn't much cuz I tapered down).

No shroom or alprazolam either. No alcohol. Just my meds and vitamin C, D and fish oil.

The only drugs I'll be taking are nicotine gum and a cup of coffee every morning.

So.. 19th of July 2021 = Sober =]

200 Days! 😑

Way to go Introvtd1. That's awesome.

You are rocking it out Intro!! Keep up the great work I promise it gets easier with time.

Smoked weed.. I regret it - But it eliminated my pain away from the fact that it's the end of the world - Yet my thoughts or memories are unretrievable.

I'll try again tomorrow.

I'm definitely going to get rid of it somehow maybe to a friend

Been sober from alcohol for 3 years since June. Getting triggered all the time lately though. I'm managing the thoughts but it's hard. Slowly feeling like I am no longer sober for myself and only sober to keep others happy. Need strength.

Nice going abby…nearly 7 months for me…but I’m still going through what’s called PAWS during this stage of what I consider early in my recovery. I’ve read it takes 6 months to two years to actually recover to the point of normalcy…..At six months is usually when the beginning of healing takes place.

Hang in there abby.

Im finding that at nearly 7 months now, I’m not as recovered as I feel sometimes.☹️ Just when I think things have much improved and the paws symptoms have all but disappeared, was actually when the real healing begins. I’ve read it takes anywhere from six months out two years before symptoms can disappear entirely. ☹️ One can only hope and hang in there 🙁

Good job staying sober!

I think the quality of life that you make for yourself determines how fast that the PAWS will go away. Some peoples brains are more neuroplastic than others. Psychedelics/serotonergic antidepressants and other things increase neuroplasticity which is why they're not addictive and can prevent addiction but it can go 4 ways without improved neurogenesis/neuroplasticity;

1. Being sober and building bad habits (Fast)
2. 1 but slow
3. Being sober and building good habits (Fast)
4. 3 but slow

And four ways with a neuroplastogen, nootropic or meditation, exercise, eating healthy, good sleep, nature, aesthetic surroundings, socialization/support, meaning, distraction etc;
5. Extreme neurogenesis to cause something faster than 3
6. Extreme neurogenic stress to cause something worse than 1 (This includes addiction if psych is used)
7. Extreme neurogenesis to cause something worse than 1 (This also includes addiction if psych is used)
8. Extreme neurogenic stress to cause something better than 3

I drank alcohol yesterday and it made me suicidal so I'm gonna stay away from it even though I'm not addicted. I'm gonna try and stop weed as well which I'm slightly addicted to because it is a distraction to fill the void - Not like alcohol which was an attempt to see if my neurochemistry has changed enough to enjoy it.

Just checking in…230 days today 🙁

The ONE YEAR mark is just coming into view….still im the distance, but headed in the right direction.

Still have good and bad days, sleepless nights, but I press forward….It’s gettin easier…Still gettin there. 😑

Keep it up Introvrtd1, you're doing great even if it sometimes is hard.

I am in the realm of hungry ghost

I did quit weed though. Taking my meds as prescribed.. I want to buy fluorinated methylphenidate for cheap price but I won't..

5 months clean today. I've been getting a lot of impulses to use lately just to chill out a bit, but then I remember the horrid sickness I went through and how it didn't really help. I have other ways of coping now even if they don't feel as good in the moment they feel better in the long run. Plus I'm on so many meds right now for schizoaffective I'd be afraid to add painkillers to the mix.

The ritalin craving went away

I feel like smoking weed but I won't

I took phenibut though to make me more social for a family gathering tonight

My cousin is coming to visit! Last time I saw him was when we were kids. He finished a psychology degree recently after being sober for 5+ whole years!

Before that, he smoked spice/k2 and ended up in the psych ward for a year with psychosis..

I could learn from him =] We might talk about things and I'll share it with you guys next week ^-;

He ended up going somewhere else instead of visiting.

Anyways, the drugs don't work.. And I think the only way to stop being dependent on drug use is to DO THINGS, WHILE feeling immense psychological pain/stress - Without any drug.

It is the only way for me. RN I'm learning about the middle east.. So learning is a good drug.. It's what I want to do but I always feel like I need something to relax or focus enough...

Every September I want to go on a drinking binge. I've just noticed the pattern when I was tempted to stop at the liquor store and I realized it's been a year since I last had that urge. It's purely self destructive, I get absolutely nothing positive out of drinking and 10/10 times I end up cutting and crying. But for some reason that sounds tempting? I'm not going to. I'm on valium and loads of other meds and I'm pretty sure I'd die.
I don't know why September.

I'm throwing my weed away and never going to smoke it again. I'm too stoned. I don't feel anything. How could someone like this? Maybe for anxiety or pain.

I smoke it and then all of my mental pain goes away.. But I like the pain.. cuz I know that it will get me somewhere.. - But I'm too stoned to do anything (Yet I WANT to do things) and without it, I'm sober enough to do things (But DON'T WANT to do things).

It makes me not care about anything.. It's nice to feel like that sometimes I guess - So idk. Not all of the time though - And I can't seem to control it?

Or can I? idk.