Why does it have to be so much easier to just numb the pain with drinks... numb the pain with pills and the needle. I want it so bad. I need it. My head is spinning and it's telling me I need this... I need something to make it go away.

Then my heart says no, I can't... think of my loved ones, think of all of that... if I do it it'll be hurting them and me... it'll make me feel guilty.

I'm shaking I want it so bad. The feeling. Just to make everything go away. I know I have some in the house. I want to be strong and say no to it.
So hard to stay strong.

[FarmerFrank]

yep been through it all... stay strong, it will be ok, I had to keep myself completely away from it all for a long long time. still hurts to watch others drink.....

[splitimage]

Can you do anything to distract yourself. Remember this is just an urge, and urge's eventually pass. Remember how hard it was to stop and all the reason's you had for stopping - try to focus on that.

Good luck and stay strong.

--splitimage

[DePressMe]

Hang in there Griffe...this will pass. When I have these urges, I try to do something to take my mind off them...I know it sounds kinda lame, but do you have any type of hobby or something you can do to distract yourself?

Lasted the night... surprised I did but I managed too... wish it would pass soon.

Haven't been able to concentrate lately, trying to distract by reading some websites, listening to music... I just want it so bad, y'know? So hard to tell yourself it's not worth it, it won't help when you remember how it felt.

[StarPonysMama]

Wellllllll keep on a truckin! Don't give in NOW!

I know what you are going through. I REALLY, REALLY wanted a drink Tuesday night and yes, it seemed like a GREAT IDEA AT THE TIME. But now I am so glad I didnt. I have no hangover, no guilt and no regrets.

This too shall pass........................

This too shall pass........................

This too shall pass.......................

Not strong enough... I'm so stupid... I drank, holding the bottle as I type. &^%$ing stupid... 136 days down the drain with no alcohol... probably didn't do my math right because I'm drinking.

Not even satisfied, I want all of it, this is just alcohol, I can't resist it. What does it matter, who was I kidding, no one cares, I could never stay sober. I'm not strong, I'm not worth it.

[(JD)]

I care. It does matter. You matter.

Didn't you go longer this time than last?
Begin again.
You get another mulligan. (do-over)

[RozG]

((((Griffe))))

you're NOT stupid! it's a battle and a hard one to fight. start again with no shame!

and you DO matter, you ARE worth it and I care!!!

Already ruined today by drinking early this morning, I don't know how I lasted this long at all. I feel like I can't do this, how did I live without it, I don't know.

[(JD)]

Do you have anyone to talk to IRL about what you are feeling (that's weakened you so you've gone back?)

We here at PC like you anyway.

[Stiv]

Try another approach.

Seriously, there are awesome medications out there (Campral for instance) that have been my saving grace, coupled with a support system (Physicians, meetings, your own desire) I've finally found a formula that has been working.

Point is, don't give up, and try all the available avenues that exist, everyone is different, but with some honest effort and perseverence something will eventually stick and trust me that effort is far more desireable and attainable than inevitable end result of letting the disease win and get the better of you.

Honestly my issue was craving the drink not that I did not want to quit, the medication took the craving away and at least let me gain enough clarity to gain a better understanding of how I could fight and win.

Good luck, look into it the miracles of modern medicine are some of the best things about living in the times we do.

Best of luck.