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#1
Feb 10, 2009, 11:40 PM
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 I have been working hard at this detoxing, getting clean, whatever you want to call it, thing for a while now.Must be a month. This last weekend was a bad weekend but Im getting over it physically now. but , in my head, I just starting to feel pretty down about it all. This isolation makes things really hard. I dont see any light at the end of this long tunnel.Hubby is great but he is in the same boat as me. My arthritus has worsoned to the point I can hardly walk. My only escape is drugs and they just make me sick. I'm dammed if I do and dammed if I don't. Sigh... Sorry to be so depressing. I just dont know where to turn when there is no where to turn. 
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There ain't no cure for stupid. |
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#2
Feb 11, 2009, 03:22 AM
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hi sled chick, so glad to see your post.
 can you contact your doctor about what's going on? i know you are struggling with the drug use and the pain. you are making an effort and sometimes we slip and fall. the choices we make impact our lives, jme. i'm here for you if you feel comfotable pm-ing me. it's a day at a time. yesterday is gone forever. we all only have "today". try to get medical help for the physical problems and you can advise the doc that you want to try to use medicines that will relieve the pain but not cause the other prob to manifest itself thru drug use. please keep us posted. we are here for u and support you.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#3
Feb 11, 2009, 04:05 AM
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((sled chick))
You have been working hard and I applaud your efforts and determination. Jme, but some of the letdown you are experiencing is from not having the drugs numbing your feelings. Your body might be free of the drugs, but it's going to take longer for your mind/emotions to be easier to handle...it can be done, though. Sometimes I had to take it ten minutes at a time simply because I couldn't handle even an hour let alone a day. Do it the way that is best for you, but please don't give up. Keep posting and let us know how you are, ok? We Care Cap
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The most dangerous enemy is the one in your head telling you what you do and don't deserve. ~~unknown~~ http://capp.psychcentral.net |
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#4
Feb 11, 2009, 12:23 PM
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Madisgram...thank you for your reply. I am under a doctors care . My meds for pain are not the problem for me. I hate them and only use them when I have to. They bother my stomach and I really am not one for slowing down anyway. My problem is I like to go fast! And I been using coke for 10 years..Capp, I suspect you are right.Real life is starting to seep in and I'm not at all comfortable with it. I am in extreem pain today all over. Just took an antimflamatory that will help a bit. I do feel a little cheerier this morning. Sigh... If I could just move.
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There ain't no cure for stupid. |
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#5
Feb 11, 2009, 12:38 PM
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Quote:
Truly, I am sorry for the physical pain. I have two chronic health issues, and can relate to the misery of the body that fogs the brain. When my numbness started giving way to deeply hidden feelings, it scared the bejubies out of me...along with an OS attitude.  But I had to make a choice to go back to using or keep plodding along. Either way was not going to be simple or easy. Going back was a matter of life or my death; yet plodding along felt just as crappy. Daily, I make that choice. Please, please keep posting. It can help you focus on the feelings coming out, and there is a commitment to yourself. Plus, it helps me stay clean and sober. I remember so well the feeling of being one raw nerve... If you are comfortable with it, PM me or another member with good time in staying sober/clean. Chats are great, too. Know that we care about you, Sled Chick. Cap
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The most dangerous enemy is the one in your head telling you what you do and don't deserve. ~~unknown~~ http://capp.psychcentral.net |
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#6
Feb 13, 2009, 01:52 PM
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I'm in your corner Sled Chik! Staying clean and sober just plain sux sometimes. I'm thinking of you and know you're giving it all you've got.
notz
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 notz |
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#7
Feb 14, 2009, 07:18 PM
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Just wanted to check in and say I am feeling somewhat better and to ask a question. How do I change my mood thing. I go there but there are no options for me. Thanks
Marian
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There ain't no cure for stupid. |
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#8
Feb 15, 2009, 11:07 AM
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Quote:
The mood thing; next to My Mood there should be a Change Mood clicking on it should bring a drop down menu with a variety of moods... I think there is also a place in your profile section to do the same thing. Brain fog, but I don't recall if a certain number of posts need to be made... I hope your day goes well, Cap
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The most dangerous enemy is the one in your head telling you what you do and don't deserve. ~~unknown~~ http://capp.psychcentral.net |
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#9
Feb 16, 2009, 11:20 PM
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 Its me again with a question. On the weekend my pain got so bad that I started taking some morphine for it. I have previously stated that I hate downers but allready am finding myself looking forward to taking them. Can this become a problem? and if so , can it become a problem this fast? Like 3 days? I am also starting back on a small dose of prednesone everyday so I can walk . Not worried about the prednesone. Am under docters care. But the morphine was not prescribed. Oh and the morphine does help cure cravings as well.Thank you
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There ain't no cure for stupid. |
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#10
Feb 17, 2009, 12:54 PM
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Quote:
It was with concern and sadness when I read your post. I'm so glad you checked in and let us know how you are doing... The concern is about the morphine. It can become a problem very quickly to a person with addiction problems. I believe you are already aware of this... I applaud you for sharing honestly about it. The sadness because I relate to the conflicting emotions about the pain and relieving it. I remember the cravings and the frustration, and the harsh way I treated myself because I thought I was such a loser. Taking morphine, or any drug, that is not prescribed for you is dangerous. Please rethink taking this highly addictive drug... Is it possible for your physician to prescribe another pain reliever? Perhaps letting him/her know that your pain levels are so high will prompt a new treatment protocol. Jme, but I had to be very careful when being treated for chronic pain. I needed relief but I also had to be on the alert for cravings; satisfied by taking the drug early and/or upping the dose. It's a fine balancing act and an individual one...it's something you can work out with your physician, Sled Chick. This demon called addiction is very seductive and requires us to be alert to its call to return to it. Do everything you can to take care of yourself. If you can not get to any meetings, is there someone you can talk to? Post here and share, you know that we understand and we do care. PM with someone who has good time in the program, and can give you a different kind of support. Above all, please be honest with yourself. It's very easy to find reasons or justification for taking drugs or for drinking. I know; I've used quite a few of them myself. Sled Chick, you don't have to go it alone. But you do have to go it...baby steps or whatever. It's up to you to take those steps. Peace, Cap
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The most dangerous enemy is the one in your head telling you what you do and don't deserve. ~~unknown~~ http://capp.psychcentral.net |
 notz
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#11
Feb 18, 2009, 09:44 PM
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Capp I realised you are right really quick. I quit the morphine and do have other non narcotic meds i can use.I had no idea how addictive a person i am. Duhh. I have had a good day today . The steroids are working and I even played sax today for awhile. First time since I entered this endever. It was quite a rush actually. Husband says I play much better straight LOL.
Thanks for caring.
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There ain't no cure for stupid. |
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#12
Feb 19, 2009, 01:27 AM
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((Sled Chick))
Thank you for checking in... Please be kind to yourself. It's an often bumpy road we travel when staying clean and sober. I applaud your honesty and your determination to find a way to stay clean and sober. At times fighting those cravings takes an enormous amount of energy. It can leave you feeling drained. But when it gets you through another 24 hours, it is worth it. Peace, Cap
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The most dangerous enemy is the one in your head telling you what you do and don't deserve. ~~unknown~~ http://capp.psychcentral.net |
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