[aimeesh]

i assume that people will hate me off the bat. I assume I'm annoying and boring and not anything interesting at all.
i was just in the chat room and i told someone not to be rude and everyone told him not to worry about it, to be himself...... and i just totally felt HORRIBLE. I felt like such an annoying big thing bothering people and i just felt so stupid and knew that everyone wanted me out of the chat room.

i know it probably wasn't that big of a deal, really. but now i just feel so... ughhhh and i don't understand why i hate myself so much. And i worry other people hate me as much as i hate myself.

so. awkward.

Hello, aimeesh. Why do you hate yourself?

[Wingdreamer]

Hi

I am wing when i get into the chat rooms i will gladly chat with you. Try not to be so harsh on yourself be gentle.

wing

r

Hello,

And I thought I was alone. Actually I know there are many but sometimes we feel like we are the only one's that feel like that. You have courage just to go into a chat room. Sometimes I go but leave quick because I always feel like an odd ball. It is an awful feeling to want to mix in but your mind goes blank and you can't socialize. This passed New Years Eve many people from the Church came to the house to celebrate but as soon as they started coming in I withdrew to my room and shut the door. I just could not think about what to say. I just didn't connect with anyone. I wish you success with your social barriers. If you ever find something that works let me know so I can try. Peace - Dennis

Originally Posted by aimeesh

i assume that people will hate me off the bat. I assume I'm annoying and boring and not anything interesting at all.
i was just in the chat room and i told someone not to be rude and everyone told him not to worry about it, to be himself...... and i just totally felt HORRIBLE. I felt like such an annoying big thing bothering people and i just felt so stupid and knew that everyone wanted me out of the chat room.

i know it probably wasn't that big of a deal, really. but now i just feel so... ughhhh and i don't understand why i hate myself so much. And i worry other people hate me as much as i hate myself.

so. awkward.

[Indie'sOK]

I feel this way a lot. I also am socially awkward at school, especially. If we're ever in chat at the same time I'd be happy to talk to you

I agree w/ Denny. You really do feel like the only one...
I'm sorry this is happening!! You are not annoying, you are awesome! Just forget everyone and what they think Try for one day to be outgoing (but not crazy ) and see how that feels for you. (maybe post about how that day was) Give it a shot, the world will not hate you, in fact, the world loves you!

For me, I got sick of it. Being awkward made me depressed. I decided to be a bit more outgoing..I just went ahead and tried to not care about anyone. I can still be awkward though, and it's very frustrating for me.

Good luck!

We must remember that many people feel socially awkward. One of my therapists was kind enough to tell me I was a social retard. Now I try to put the other at ease. It takes the focus off of me and seems to help both of us through those the awkward moments.

[aimeesh]

thank you all for the replies

[Rebound]

I am the same. I keep giong into the chat room but I can't stay too long because I become so uncomfortable having nothing to say.

I keep going though just in case I can somehow connect. So, yeah, not whatcha call slick. But it helps to know there are people who feel the same way who can relate.

[troubledheart]

I feel the exact same way. Everything you wrote.
I feel like people just don't like me. I try to be myself, I try so hard. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy when I say stuff like that, but when we hangout with his friends I try to not think they think I'm boring or dumb or not funny but then I convince myself throught the night that I am boring and they don't like me cause that's how it looks and that's how they act.
I don't know what to do I'm literally going out of my mind

[aimeesh]

same here, troubled heart. it's the reason i've lost connection with all of my highschool friends. (except one, sort of, but it's because she got pregnant like me so we had a lot to talk about, a lot to go through together.) I avoid social situations because I assume I'll bore the **** out of them and then they'll never want to hang out with me again, word will spread, and everyone will think that about me. Whereas.... if i never hang out with them then i avoid that chance of ever possibly happening. LOL i'm crazy, you see?

whats horribly sad is that i found out that now they talk crap about me because i never want to hang out.... so they really did like me before.... and now i'veended up ruining things for myself.... it really hurts to know that i did this to myself and now im a hermit... who talks tomore people on the internet than in real life.

[Rebound]

Originally Posted by troubledheart

....
I feel like people just don't like me. I try to be myself, I try so hard.... I try to not think they think I'm boring or dumb or not funny but then I convince myself through the night that I am boring....

I'm sorry that to say this doesn't contribute much to the discussion but this expresses exactly how I feel when I'm introduced to new people.

I guess all I can say is don't do what I do. I.e. I withdraw and hide behind my computer where I can become "invisible" when I want to.

But I keep trying and sometimes I meet that person who can see what lies beneath and I gain a friend. When that happens, it soothes much of the preceding sorrow; it is really worth it to keep trying to engage socially.

I think you and I can eventually overcome all this self-doubt. I am pulling for you.

[matt c]

Originally Posted by aimeesh

I assume I'm annoying and boring and not anything interesting at all....so. awkward.

Can relate to this totally...
Im socially phobic, but I surprised even myself the other day as to just how totally inept I really am. I went to have a look in the PC chat room, and as soon as I was in there, three messages popped up all saying "Hi Matt C!"...that totally freaked me out!!...I felt like they could all see me...Apart from "Hi", I didnt know what else to say, so I made a lame excuse and left straight away!! Ha ha ha ...Just like in real life!...how pathetic is that!

Oh well.maybe I'll try the chat room again...at least now I know what to expect.

Originally Posted by aimeesh

so they really did like me

..so do you recognize that the thoughts you have about yourself and what others think of you are not necessarily based on whats real, but on your own negative self view? If so, how about getting back into the chat room and trying again...to stop this episode turning into another self-fulfilling prophecy? Maybe if you turn this one around, the next time it'll be easier?

Good luck in all you do Aimeesh,

(and just look at your profile...yes, troubled, yes been through some tough ****...but boring?, unintersting? no way...complete opposite!!)

Matt C

[aimeesh]

thanks for the support

i actually feel pretty comfortable in the chat room now that i've been in there and know what the people that are on regularly are kind of like. i mean everyone is really nice. most chat rooms are not like that and there's always someone just looking to make fun of someone. but not here, it's nice.

[caring_whiterose]

(((((((((aimeesh))))))))))I feel that same way most of the time. I have been in chat with you and you are not annoying at all. You are vert sweet and kind!

Originally Posted by aimeesh

i assume that people will hate me off the bat. I assume I'm annoying and boring and not anything interesting at all.
i was just in the chat room and i told someone not to be rude and everyone told him not to worry about it, to be himself...... and i just totally felt HORRIBLE. I felt like such an annoying big thing bothering people and i just felt so stupid and knew that everyone wanted me out of the chat room.

i know it probably wasn't that big of a deal, really. but now i just feel so... ughhhh and i don't understand why i hate myself so much. And i worry other people hate me as much as i hate myself.

so. awkward.

[Dani87]

I remeber you from one of the chat rooms....This must have happend after I left I certanly don't hate you, thats for sure....I feel a bit the same way as you when interacting with people, I'm always scared I'll offend them in some way......I fyou need to PM or want to chat privatly feel free..

[Rebound]

Originally Posted by aimeesh

....
whats horribly sad is that i found out that now they talk crap about me because i never want to hang out.... so they really did like me before.... and now i'veended up ruining things for myself.... it really hurts to know that i did this to myself and now im a hermit... who talks tomore people on the internet than in real life.

I would just suggest that if they really did like you that maybe you could let them know about your challenges and perhaps increase their understanding. The worst case scenario is that things stay the same now. If even one person is understanding and can renew a friendship with you, it's a success.

[Willow13]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

We must remember that many people feel socially awkward. One of my therapists was kind enough to tell me I was a social retard. Now I try to put the other at ease. It takes the focus off of me and seems to help both of us through those the awkward moments.

How do you put others at ease? I think I make people uncomfortable, and that's the last thing in the world I want to do.

If I could put others at ease I would feel so much better.

[Lisa Michelle]

I feel socially awkward a lot of the time. I think I've lost my social skills because I don't go out much at all, and when I do it's just with my mum, so I'm never speaking to other people.

I've recently come back to this site and it's taking a while to get back in the swing of talking to people. I do go in the chat room and I can relate to what you said - when I first join the room I feel a bit nervous because I'm worried I can't join the conversation or think of anything interesting to say.
Everyone on this site is so friendly though, and when you're in the chat room people try to involve you.. it's a really nice chat room here

I try to speak to those there right away to try to let them know I am not a threat. It took some practice but I replaced the glower with a smile. I asked questions of them and spoke little of myself. Just let the others know they are safe to talk to me.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/

[Lisa Michelle]

You sound very considerate TheByzantine... it's always nice when people are approachable in the chat and bring people into the convo, it can sometimes be hard to just jump in by yourself!

[capecrew]

Some days i just wake up and feel like like everybody is scrutnizing me and my subconcious wants me to be whateveri think that person wants me to be. on days like that i get choked up on the simplest of questions because i am so worried about what im going to say. it sucks...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/soc...5/METHOD=print
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/***...2/METHOD=print

[jl1961]

I'm right there with you. I feel exactly the same way!!