Relapse

hi,
I am new to the forum, have never really tried this, however, I have been diagnosed with OCD and undergone a highly sucessfull cognitive therapy!
but recently I have begun to to doubt again and develop obsessions again....
and I get stuck some times ...and having had such a sucsessfull treatment I get frustrated specially when I start obsessing at work.
I obsess about events performed months ago..like " that one time when we pumped gas.. before I left did I knock the gass nozzle with the motion of me opening the door....?" -> if so ....did it squirt gas all over and then did a person with some sort of flamable material..e.g a cigarrette, come and by mistake cause a huge explosion and killed people" .."if so its my fault..."I am sinner" " I must have done it on purpose"
then I try my strategies but I doubt them...and I keep trying stratefgies but the strategies turn into rituals too....

ahhh its frustrating.....

it seems as though it is rooted in my constant belief that I am a sinner and that I go round on purpose doing these awful things

some thoughts on this ...any one???
I guess looking for someone who can understand me??????

I understand, Slash. I too think I'm that person that that 'one in a million' thing will happen to, and it's never the good thing. What if I decide not to lock the door this time, and its the one time someone breaks in? What if this, what if that, what if its my fault, what if someone blames me, etc etc. It might not be exactly the same thing but I can understand the feelings.

Good luck...

Hi Slash,
I think healing involves a certain amount of relaspes. The tricky part is not going back into it, full force, which is what you're afraid of.
You now have the fear of relaspe for the OCD to have it's way with if you let it.
I don't know much about OCD but I saw the irony in this.
Are you still seeing a counsler about this? Can you talk to them at these times?
You talk about doubt and you've got to credit yourself on the positives. Write down all the positives you've accomplish and maybe that won't give you time to nit pick at the negatives.
I don't know. It's what I have to do when I'm being really hard on myself.
Hope this helps just a little. If not, maybe this will...
((((((((((((Slash))))))))))))))

Just started and I already feel so welcome!
Your analysis of fear of the relapse is highly insightfull,
I thought about it, and I agree, part of the fear is the relapse itself... fear of relapse
at least I have to take each "bad moment" as a single incident in the midst of all the gains, which in my view, inmensly outnumber the "bads"
thanks again, I will keep your thoughts in mind
unfortunately my therapist is away for a while and we have plans to meet after her arrival
for now, I am on my own..which (and I agree) is good for me because I know I CAN be ok!

thanks for the hug!!!
same to all of you!

((((((((((((((Slash))))))))))

I hate the obsessional thoughts. I understand. I suffer from the same thing. I also have a problem with certain #'s. It sucks. I battle it everyday. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me.

Hugs

I have recently been diagnosed with ocd. I first statred to experience severe symptoms about 8 years ago. I understand how tormenting the thoughts are. The suffering sometimes becomes unbearable. The only word I could use to describe these last 8 years is 'torture.' I am so glad that there are people who undestand how i feel. Some people just think that I can get over it or snap out of it but i can't. I suppose that I might be able to encourage you by helping you to remember that you have beaten this ocd once before, so you can beat it again.

same to you too,
If you ever need to talk send me a pmPM, I have been practicing my techniques and they do help.
I would love to be of some help because just your replies encourage me so I hope I can give some back too!

do you jmo531JoMO see a Therapist??? any how I am here to talk and share!

hi,

please feel free to PM me, are you seingusingsayingseinebeingsingleseinedseinerseinesaskingseendoingsentseigneurseigniorseiners a therapist and have you read some material....
I found that a HUGE step towards recovery is the realization of what OCD is....if you know how OCD works on your brain physcologicaly you can beat it!