[lady89]

Not sure if this belongs here.

For some reason I've been feeling stuck lately. I don't know how else to describe the feeling. A lot has happened to me in the last couple years which has resulted in a crazy last few months. 2 years ago after my daughter was born my husband and I moved our family across the country to live with his family. It was really hard for me to be away from my family and friends but we couldn't afford to live in California anymore. After about 9 months I could no longer take it. I was depressed and stressed beyond my breaking point. I talked to my husband who agreed to move back but we had to stay with friends. That was another stressful situation that I could not handle. Living in someone elses home was very uncomfortable. And on top of that I noticed some problems with my 4 year old. His speech was that of a 2 year old and I knew he didn't always quite understand what we were telling me. So last month my family and I were pretty much forced to move and still not being able to afford silicon valley we had to move a couple hours away. I have never felt so stressed and anxious in my entire life. I'm home all day with the kids which I'm used to but my husband is now only home for an hour before bedtime. Sometimes less. I feel like I'm doing everything, which i'm used to, but now he doesn't even like to help on his days off. I can tell that even 5mins with the kids overwhelms him. So I take over. I feel so lonely and literally like I'm going crazy. I actually have to TRY to motivate myself to do anything. Everything is frustrating me. I know my husband loves me I just wish he wanted to spend more time with the kids. That's all I ask. He ISN'T my son's biological father but he's been around longer than my ex was. He treats my son differently. I know he loves him but he gets frustrated easier with him than our daughter. I can't tell if it's his age but I highly doubt it is. Just yesterday my son woke my daughter up from her nap early and my husband called him an ASSHOLE. I WAS PISSED! I could not believe it. I knew he was frustrated by the lack of sleep and working like crazy but really. Calling a 5 year old any kind of horrible name is so wrong and completely unnecessary. He later apologized but im still a bit skeptical about accepting it. My son recently started kindergarten. I mentioned to the vice principal our concerns about him in hopes that she would understand. She did. But I can't help but worry. He is different around other kids. I can tell he annoys them. He still has accidents. His speech isn't that of a 5 year olds. What if he gets made fun of. He doesn't often understand when someone makes fun of him (I've heard kids before) but he definitely understands being left out. I've seen him cry and fall to the floor because another boy didn't want to play with him. And his school work. I don't remember getting this much homework in kindergarten or any at all for that matter. It even frustrates me. I can't even get him to sit for 2 minutes just to write his name. And when I ask he just melts to the floor, sucks his thumb, and refuses to do anything. I tried just doing a little a couple times a day but he just wants to scribble. But apparently scribbling is a huge no no with his teacher who LOVES putting frowny faces all over a 5 year olds classwork who probably tried his best. Today he came home with his work from class and all of them had frowny faces. There was an announcement about a rewarding Ice cream party. If you knew so many letters and the sounds they make you'd get 1, 2, or 3 scoops of ice cream. And those students who couldn't do it would not be able to participate. I STARTED BAWLING WHEN I READ THIS! I knew he wouldn't be one of those to participate and I can only imagine how he will feel when he can't. They also hold kids back in kindergarten at this school.......................UGH! There is just so much I can't get off my mind! It's clouding my mind all day and I just can't stop. My emotions are everywhere content one minute and pissed the other. Crying about everything. I don't even know what to do with myself half the time. I find myself sitting in the same positions for hours after telling myself I'm going to get up in 20mins. I literally feel stuck and like I can't move. I don't know what I'm going to do or when this is going to end. Sorry about the randomness of this I just needed to get it off my mind.

[Miswimmy1]

I am sorry for all of the things u are going through it sounds like u hav anxiety mixed into all of this chaos. Hav u ever heard of pharma Gabba? It is a natural anxiety supplement that u can buy at a pharmacy or a super supplements. I think you should breathe, and when things get chaotic, take a step back, reflect on the good things, and hang in there. Take time to do what you want- even if that is popping in a movie for the kids while u go online, or lay down with a book, or something. Just a time out... Best of luck!

[brackenbeard]

sometimes we need a day or two to clear our minds before going back into the fray. i know i get really symptomatic when i work all the time, like the 7 out of 7 days i worked last week. even a day off from all the madness of life can help mend things. you need some time to yourself with friends (or maybe find a place where you can meet some, try meetup.com) to unwind and refresh. maybe brainstorm how you can get a little of this fun time. wish you all the best.

- B

[Nammu]

I can't remember where I saw this but there was a book out about kids doing better in sports if they were held back a year before going to school. I think it was called red shirting or something similar. The guy who wrote the book about holding kids back didn't intend for it to be for rich people but thats what has happened. A lot of really rich, one child homes have been trying to keep their sons back a year so they will have more advantages both mentally and physically.

I can't believe they would deny children of that age any ice cream thats just cruel. I can understand why you felt as you did, as I mom, I would feel the same why even if my child wasn't one that would be deprived of the ice cream.

Don't know what to say for the anxiety as a mom of two you probably get plenty of exercise. Have you tried deep breathing it helps me a lot.

[JustMeEst86]

I could have written part of that!

My son is almost 7 now, not my boyfriends biological son. They butt heads, but he's never called him an asshole. I understand your anger at that. Name calling isn't ok. I think you should explain your disapproval of that to your husband.

My daughter is almost 2 and my boyfriend has trouble with her too. She is *NOT* a daddies girl, and he feels left out.

Have you thought about speech therapy for your son? My son is going on his 3rd year and the improvement is AMAZING!

I can't help you with the overwhelming feeling. I feel it too. I hate it too. I'm in Southern Oregon I say we meet half way and take a BREAK

[Hope1212]

Have you tried seeing a counselor to help work out the issues with your anxiety? Also, try going for walks or to the park with your kids. Getting exercise for yourself can help with some anxiety problems. You were completely right about being upset with your husband over the comment that he made to your son. That is not acceptable. If he is willing and has the time, perhaps trying couples counseling can be beneficial. He may be resistant, but telling him that it would help with your anxiety and better your overall relationship could help.
As for your son. Make sure the school is doing everything that they can for him. Request an evaluation, if one wan't already done. It appears that he should be receiving speech therapy. Also, get him evaluated for auditory processing or possible learning problems. The sooner you start, the better the outcome. I hope this helps. Please take care.

[lady89]

I appreciate all of the advice. I actually took some time off from everything. I went back to my hometown for 2days and I'm so thankful that my husband understood why I did. I can't say if it's helped much since I woke up horribly sick this morning which is making everyday work a little harder than usual. We have already talked to my sons school about getting him tested and they are aware of our concerns. They've just said they have to put him in a normal class, watch him, and then decide if he needs to be put into a different class. As for my husband, he apologized and I could see how bad he felt but I've talked to him about my concerns on how he treats my son different. He just says it's my sons age difference that makes it seem that way. Only time will tell if my talk helped. And I also decided to talk to him about everything I'm feeling. It helps me a lot to talk about it but sometimes I think he either doesn't believe me or doesn't want to. Well I really just hope all of this will get a little better soon. Thanks again for everyones help.