Near Panic Attack in Public

Went to hospital today to see a Rheymatologist and from the moment I got in the taxi I could feel my energy was high. I felt crazy and erratic. I was trying to calm myself down so it wouldn't go any further and no one would realize what was going on in my head. My head was all over the place. When I got out of the taxi I thought I was going to pass out I felt so light headed. Then I started walking and my head was spinning and going round and round and more and more things and I was stopping myself from crying and I was shaking and I felt like jelly. I felt like the world was imploding inside of me. Like I was right out side of the Rheumatology bit and I had to wait because I was shaking and I felt like I was going to fall over. But then I swallowed it all up and went inside.

So it turns out I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia...I knew I had it anyway but it's official now....
Got hope was hyper, normal, overwhelmed and now I am angry. Yay....
Just another day I guess.

yep, definitely sounds like a panic attack. question was was it triggered by going out or by the trip to the doctor and getting a diagnosis? im sorry you had to go through that. hope you are feeling better now. take care.

I had a similar experience last weekend while with dad at the hospital visiting mom. She fell asleep, and he fell asleep in the chair beside me. I had the same feelings and was so afraid I was going to start crying. There was another woman and her daughter in the bed beside mom. I was so relieved when my sister and her boyfriend came and they woke up. I thought I was going to lose it right there in front of everyone for sure. Now I may be going with dad to a doctor appointment Wednesday, and I'm terrified the same thing is going to happen while I'm waiting on him in the waiting room. I think I'm going to have to be sitting there quite awhile, and I know the longer I'm sitting there, the more scary thoughts are going to go through my head.

It's horrible isn't it?
I am so sorry that you were going through all of that. You know I think if this makes sense you are getting more anxiety over it because you are thinking and remembering the last place you had a panic attack/ bad anxiety and you are associating that place with it. So as the days go by it just goes round and round in your head and makes you feel worse until it's time to actually go there and who knows what could happen! You could get there and not feel as bad as you think you will. But either way you are going to have to find a way to distract yourself from all the thoughts so that doesn't lead to more anxiety or panic attacks. Sometimes listening to calm music helps some people, my friend used to count numbers and chew gum. None of those work for me, especially when I am about to have a full blown panic attack...but who knows they might for you! Maybe even writing about it on here a little could help curb the anxiety? Venting helps get all of the thoughts out of your head sometimes!

Anyway I hope you manage to find a way to get calmer. Good luck with the next appointment!

Yes, they're terribly horrible!! And you're right. My thinking about it just makes it worse and worse. Plus I have no idea what time the appointment is or if dad will pick me up or I need to go to my parents' house. Just going over everything in my head. I'll need to find out today. Hopefully things will be okay. Maybe some magazines to read there or something. The thing is, I'm having a really hard time being alone right now. I do kind of okay while my husband is at work, but if he's late or has to go back out, the anxiety rises and rises til he's home. The longer the wait, the worse it gets, which is what happened at the hospital. I think I felt I was alone with my parents both asleep, and the longer it went on, the worse I got. That's what I'm worried about tomorrow, too. The longer I sit there, I'm going to start wondering what's taking so long, if everything's okay, did dad leave and forget me and go out a different door or something... My brain is everywhere right now when I'm alone. As you said, I'm going to have to try to distract myself from those thoughts. Oh, the appointment is for dad lol... Not me. I'll be there waiting for him while he's being seen by a doctor, and you know how long that can take... Mom usually goes; but she's just out of the hospital herself, and my sister will be with her. I actually would like to switch and be the one to stay with mom, but I'd never be able to tell them the reason and have them understand. I'm pretty alone in this as far as my entire family is concerned. We have no insurance, so I can't afford professional help.

Yes and also do you have any friends you could maybe phone? Or would they be at work? That sounds good about the magazines. Maybe you could consider trying yoga? I have heard that it is really relaxing.
I'm so sorry to hear that! Please know that you're not alone here! I am just so sorry that your family have made you feel that way....they shouldn't make you feel like such an outsider just because you are going through a difficult time in your life. Anxiety is so terrible, please don't let it rule your life. You need to take control. And so do I. I am actually going to the doctors next week about my panic attacks, maybe he can help a little.
Anyway, please remember that you'll always have a friend here!

No, I don't have any friends to call. Would be so nice!! Just some online friends, but that doesn't help much when you're in immediate need. I used to do yoga but quit 6 years ago. I've been thinking about taking it back up again. It is relaxing, and I felt really good and stretched out when I did it!! I can't afford therapy - we have no insurance. My parents just tell me you have to rise above it, but that's not so easy. It's getting worse. I've printed some worksheets and things from some websites to help me deal with ptsd which I think I'm going through. I didn't have this trouble til we had a house fire and lost everything in December. Now just seems I'm spiraling downward trying to cope with all my losses and the stresses going on in my life. (I lost my 10 cats who meant the world to me. My son was jealous of them I think!!) My family just seems to overlook what all has happened and that because I'm in a new house now everything is going fine. I've tried to explain to my mom how miserable I am, but she doesn't seem to get it. She's just out of the hospital now so don't want to trouble her with it anymore. My husband just tells me I'll be okay and tosses me aside - at least that's how it feels. I do realize it's pretty much up to me to help myself. I see it's not going to come from anywhere else. I hope you have some luck at the doctor next week getting help. I know just knowing you're going to get help in itself can be a relief. Good luck.

I hope you know that as long as you keep talking to me I am going to be giving you loads of hugs!

Well it looks like I have found someone the same as me! I also don't have any friends. If you ask me the online ones are more considerate. I guess I get too paranoid like when I was in high school and so many people... I would just think that everyone was talking about everything behind my back..which is pretty much true! I didn't really do well in high school anyway, I ended up isolating myself from everyone.
I am so sorry that there isn't that one person you can call when you need urgent help! Feel free to talk to me whenever you would like!

Yes maybe you should take up the yoga again. I would if it wasn't for physical problems. Maybe I can some day when I manage to feel better!
I hate it when people just tell you things like that. It's like they are telling us to snap out of out emotions and personality like it is the easiest thing in the world to do. It isn't and it is a miracle that you are getting through each day! You should give yourself more credit! Don't let people bring you down just because they will never understand. I feel very isolated in this sense too and it is the most horrible feeling.

I am so sorry to hear that! I actually read that in your bio and was really taken aback at how a person can go through all of that...I can't even begin to imagine how it must have been and the impact it had in your life. But the fact that you even get out of bed every single day and face all of your difficulties and struggles shows that you are a strong person. You want to help yourself so that you can get yourself better and become a stronger, happier person. You are amazing.

Also thanks for the good luck!

Super hugs for you!!

Aw thanks!! One can never have too many hugs. I'm rather shy til I get to know people or just don't seem to hit it off with others too well. I've always had a hard time making friends, and after school, the few I had there went their own ways and I was pretty much left alone. Still am. It's amazing I'm married, but that didn't happen til I was 31... All I have in my life are my parents, husband, son, and kind of/sort of my sister and nephews. My sister and I have never been close. We're 10 years apart, and she never showed much interest in me as her younger sister when growing up. I wish we were. I love my nephews like brothers, but they're far away in school and working, making wonderful lives for themselves. I feel on my own much of the time, and especially with my problems. Unfortunately I lost my yoga mats, books, videos in the fire. It's almost like starting life completely over, and I just don't feel I know how to begin or even do it. Yoga does feel really good, though. Hopefully you can do it someday and I can start back. I suppose I get through my days the best way I can. The first month we stayed with my parents, and I think I was just numb then. I cried and woke up shaking. I think having them there all day helped, though. It seems that when we moved into a rental home in early January was when I started having the panic attacks and went downhill. I was alone with it all day. It was hard. I can't tell you the pain I feel in my heart over it all. We went back to our property every day or evening to look around for my cats in unbelievably cold weather and snow. It was the worst winter here in 30 years. We did it for 3 months with no luck. Finally I realized that finding them was beyond me. My only hope was that they would come back on their own if they were still alive. We put signs out, and they're still hanging around. I won't take them down because they're still gone. Also some traps, items of clothing... Did what everything said to do but trail cam because couldn't afford one. To me it's as if 10 of my children are dead. I always put them equal with my own human son. And pets are family. I never ever dreamed this could happen. I always thought I'd lose 1 here and there to old age or illness but would have the others still here. My 2 oldest were only 10 and youngest weren't quite 4. Perfectly healthy, playful cats. To just be wiped out of all of them and left with nothing (except my 2 parakeets which I grabbed on my way out the door) and our goat... And our home and everything in it... We had the prettiest home on the road here. The only one that was brick. I loved my life. Was happy and silly and pretty much carefree. I'm a stay-at-home mom and loved my days alone to do as I wished without interruption. Things are so changed now. You just never know. I always tried to watch for fires and was careful, and it was our car that caught our garage on fire and just up into the house from there... Who would think?? I go over and over the last moments in the house. Tried to call 911 but our phone went out. My son remembers the TV going out and the smoke alarms going off. I didn't even hear the smoke alarms. I told my neighbor I had 10 cats inside but he led me away and wouldn't let me go back in, and I panicked til his wife told me the ambulance would take me to the hospital if I didn't calm down. I actually wish I could've gone now. It would've been better than watching my house burn for 3 hours. I get out of bed because if I don't, I just lie there and think of things and feel anxious. I don't sleep much. I used to take a daily nap, but now if I lie down the anxious feelings get sharper. They're dulled when I'm tired. And that may be why I'm shaky after a night's sleep, which is only about 4 hours because I can't say asleep. So - just may as well get up. I don't know if I'm strong. I just do what I have to do. I have an Asperger's son who needs me. I cry daily - often several times. And just such terrible anxiety and fear that is getting worse. I do want to help myself. I want to feel like I used to. I don't know if that'll ever happen, though.

Don't worry I also find it hard making friends so maybe we would make good friends?
I am sorry that you lost all of that in the fire. No one really understands the bond between a cat and a human it is literally like they are children. And I can't even possibly think how it would be to lose all of my cats I would be in complete and utter despair.
You have been through so much no wonder that set of all of the anxiety and ptsd. It must be so horrible. Can't you go to your doctors and explain to him about your sleeping habits? They can give you some medications to help you relax so you can actually get some sleep to function properly!
I take sleep meds but they are sort of a pain killer at the same time so I don't stay up all night in pain. Also it is good because it shuts my mind up at night! If you do go to the doctors they can give you something for the anxiety too. Do you need insurance to see the doctors?
Sorry I live in the Uk everything is different here.

It must be difficult for you as a mother to have a son with Asperger's but you should be so proud of yourself! Not only do you deal with your own emotional difficulties but you're also bringing up your son who has Asperger's which is a hard thing to deal with! You need to give yourself more credit in my opinion.

Also there is absolutely nothing wrong with crying, that just makes you a human being. Don't be ashamed and stop putting yourself down. You are an AMAZING person!

I'm always here to listen! I'm just so sorry because I am a slow reader, it is mostly because of the fibro fog that I get! But I promise I will always get back to you eventually!