First time panic attacks

I have a lot of anxiety surrounding my job and have for a long time. But yesterday for the first time, I had a panic attack when I woke up and thought about going to work. I couldn't even get out of bed. I called in sick and cried most of the day.

This morning I managed to get up and get dressed (even though I was having trouble breathing) and drive myself to work. I asked my husband to follow me because I was feeling really shaky and anxious, and once I got to work and parked my car I had another panic attack and could not calm down and stop crying. So I left and came home again.

I feel like I'm letting everyone down. I feel like a failure. Other people manage to go to work and do their job - what's wrong with me?

Oh hun, I can completely relate. Please see your doctor asap. My psychiatrist & therapist are a huge help for treating my anxiety (among) other things. I am medicated & have found Ativan most helpful for my panic attacks. It's the first time my mind was able to calm down. Panic attack are the most frightening thing ever. My feel like I'm having a heartache & will die. That's just me. *big friendship hug*

Is it possible for you to take some sort of leave from work?

Yes, you definitely need to see a doctor. Sometimes these things only get worse. It's not like having the flu where it gets better with time. Not always, anyway.

Don't feel like a failure. No, not everyone can handle the stress of jobs. I can't. I'm self-employed because I simply can't do it anymore. Sometimes the future scares me, but I can't imagine working for someone and having a boss create stress in my life.

But please get help for the panic. Don't wait like I did. I ended up rolling around in the front yard, gasping for air and drooling on myself.
You need to stay ahead of this thing before it takes total control of you.

I don't know who to see. I feel like I'm just being passed around because I'm not bad enough. My PCP gave me Xanax and sent me on my way, I went to a Psychiatric Crisis Center and they couldn't help me because I'm not suicidal and I have insurance. So I'm sitting here googling people and calling, but nobody can see me for like another week. What am I supposed to do?

I had to wait a month to see my psychiatrist. Four weeks. He's highly recommended by other doctors and people get in line to see him.

So I just waited. I took ativan when needed and vented on here a lot. Sort of like group therapy.

That seems like an eternity, Disorder7! I don't know how to keep functioning that long in order to get in to see someone. My current meds are obviously not working for me, and I can't keep calling in sick! I feel hopeless.

Just remember these sensations will fade over time. I know it sucks right now, I've had several panic attacks over my lifetime. These are only sensations and cannot hurt you! In the meantime, exercise can reduce your stress, even if only short-term. Journaling your feelings can reduce their power over you. The worst thing for me is bottling everything up and just trying to "white knuckle" it. Good luck and keep us informed of your progress (there will be progress).

____________________________________________________________

Came a long way to get here
Round and round in great big circles tryin' to ease my fear
Out in all the mysteries and distant new tomorrows
There goes another one, don't know which way the wind blows...

I know it's hard. I also waited a month to get in to see my therapist and psychiatrist. Have you tried talking to your work about your situation? Maybe you can make an appointment with someone who can see you next week and then keep trying to get in somewhere sooner? That way if you can't find anyone, you still have that appointment without losing more time. Also ask if there are any cancellations anywhere or ask if they can get you in if someone cancels. Hang in there!

This is probably not what you want to hear, and I hope you don't get discouraged. But there is no quick fix for mental problems. It's a journey.

You won't leave the psychiatrist's office "cured", unfortunately. There will be lots of questions and possibly lots of different meds. Some may help, some won't. There are days when you'll take one step forward, only to find yourself taking two backwards.

Sometimes meds work for awhile only to poop out later.

Then there are some of us who are allergic to some meds, we have to be taken off of them, get our systems cleared, and start all over again just like day one.

It gets very frustrating. But hang in there. You have to do something. And you are moving in the right direction.

Disorder7 - I know. I've been through this circus before, it's just frustrating to be in crisis and not have anywhere to turn. I think the reason I'm so focused on finding someone now is because I do know that it takes time... therapy takes time, meds take time... and I want to get the ball rolling so I can at least feel like I'm making progress instead of running into a wall every dang day. Know what I mean? Thanks for the honesty though. Sometimes we need to hear the reality, not just what we want to hear.

Hey Nutty, quick question about Ativan - have you found that it makes you drowsy or loopy at all? My GP gave me a short term Rx for it yesterday and I took half a pill and fell asleep.