Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

A little rough today, worried about my stomach pain and not to mention I have to go to work tomorrow.

It wasn’t bad today. I am worried about being on time for this wedding. Especially since it’s a morning wedding and 4 of us have to shower in the morning. The last time we went to a wedding we got there right as the ceremony was going on. Like we walked right in on it.

I’m hoping using the bathroom tonight will help so I won’t have stomach cramps and anxiety for tommrow, like I’ve been having the last two times I’ve had to work.

This morning it was bad. I have a free day today and I couldn't get out of the bed. Now I'm out. Should get out of the house to prevent worse.

Didn't want to come home, but we did.

Daughter's ex is coming back to pick up his stuff. My husband will insist on having the remainder of his stuff in the garage, and he has a week to get it or it's trash. We've already changed the locks and my daughter took the garage remote. When he comes here we have to be at home. I'm letting him deal with the ex since I'm anxious and exhausted. We didn't sleep well last night because of the fireworks. I'm not saying the ex is a bad person, but we want this move done and over with. On the plus side, the mutual friend got a new job with the same pay as my daughter, and they will move into a smaller apartment the beginning of August. At least we won't have to hold back the contractors.

My anxiety is really up, though.

anxiety not to high at the moment

I went to my doctor office for my prescription because my brother need it to go to the doctor also, he's cheek has been swollen due to a toothache. He's taking antibiotics now. I'm a bit worried because the same thing happen to me when I was younger.

Not looking forward to daughter's ex coming to get more of his stuff. My husband is going to ream him a new one. Daughter asked me this morning to talk to him about the car. I'm not doing her battles for her. I've done enough already and I'm in a lot of pain.

Really anxious about this. I just want them all out and gone.

Lots of anxiety right now. Want to go to sleep. Will go soon

Thankfully my daughter stayed home today and is helping. Her ex's mother wants to call us sometime this weekend and find out what's going on with him. We may just go out to lunch and discuss things with her. My daughter said she'll set it up. Very nervous about this. The mother said "no hard feelings" but that may change.

Was nervous this morning to go to an art demo this afternoon. I ended up going and survived. Feeling better now.

Was one of the first guests to arrive. Luncheon was kind of anxiety provoking. The rest of the day was fine.

Today, I'm more anxious than I have been in ages. I haven't managed to get anything done for two days, just slouched in front of the computer. Keep thinking I should be doing and achieving more...

The "talk" with daughter's ex's parents is done. His stuff was moved back to their place. We have the car back. Now the title needs to be changed so my daughter can drive the car for her license. That will be tomorrow afternoon. His mother is overwhelmed with all that happened, and is concerned for his mental health. I gave her the information for my old therapist so I hope he can help. My husband and daughter are washing their hands of them, but I'm an old softie so I said keep in touch.

Less than one month until my daughter moves out. Then we have the contractors in to fix the place. And finally we'll have peace for what we hope is a long time.

Despite this, I have some rebound anxiety--I tend to hide my anxiety and then it comes out to wreak havoc later. I'll get through it, I hope.

It was kind of bad, but not really. I really want the rest of the trapped soccer team to make it out of the cave. I’m not sure though if they will. I watched a lot of CNN when I was a kid. I was devastated when those conjoined twins died. Does anyone remember that story from 2005? And I was distraught about Terri Shivao. And in 2002 or so when the Columbia space shuttle blew up, I was messed up for awhile. I even wrote a book on it using cut out newspaper pictures. This soccer team is up there.

So far studying is going slow. I found a GRE study group on FB. It was a bust. A moderator uploaded a worksheet it was cut off. You could not see all the information. Then another moderator uploaded a hand written math problem. He should be a doctor. His hand writing was terrible plus it was in cursive. Why would anyone write in cursive? I decided I would need to take a GRE prep class at one of my local tech or community colleges. I went to the websites and could not find any. I’ll just wait until morning and call.

Ugh... I'm full of anxiety today. Recurring nightmares when I wake up. Today I was almost hit by cars when I was jaywalking. Why didn't the government build a pedestarian overpass? I hate crossing those boulevards. Always anxious.

A friend invite me to hang out with her. Our last conversation made me anxious over my future. She is nice, but I feel so bad to hang out with her.

Doing the title transfer in about an hour. Tomorrow we’ll do the insurance and registration. I also have physical therapy and trauma T, so it will be hectic. My stomach is doing flip-flops.

I also bagged the mattresses for disposal, helped the kids with the car radio, and the usual house stuff.

I’m tired but my anxiety won’t let me sleep.

Same ever-present low-to-mid level restlessness/anxiety as always. Tapering off my antipsychotic in a day (starting to), so will see if anxiety improves (possible side effect of the med).

I felt very anxious today,,,
I went out and as I was walking in my town, I was feeling very scared among all these people. I felt like everyone was observing me and judging me, haha, just bc of some disturbing memories of past harassment and bullying :/ It was exhausting.
When I got home I found something on social media which triggered me and made me have an existential crisis lmao, I crippling feeling of dread about my future, I'm scared I'll fail at everything, school, work, relationships..

So tired oof

Car insurance and registration done. Have to rent cones tomorrow so daughter can practice parallel parking. Physical therapy was painful and I still have pain from that. I told trauma T we'll restart in September because there's just too much going on in the next 1 ½ months to keep doing EMDR.

Although it's not my problem anymore I still worry about daughter's ex and his family. I sure hope they do okay. My old T couldn't see the ex but he referred another trusted colleague to take his case. I hope that happens.

I'm starting to relax a little, but I have things to do this evening so I can't take a nap. At least the anxiety is going down.

a little anxious over tonights world cup match

I hope in sted of england winning either the other team wins or it's a draw.

I am counting on it

I was agitated this morning because of anxiety issues, but they have cleared up now

Felt anxious this morning and started worrying about stuff. I did some vacuuming and cleaning up, and I felt better after that.

A couple split second anxiety moments, but most of the day was good.

For the first time in about six years, I have felt glimpses of calm today. What a relief.

Not quite time for a success story though, I'd say. Still a ways to go.

This "exercise" thing is mysterious. But there's too many variables at play to just say I'm in better shape and that's it...