Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

I was kind of anxious about the Christmas situation at work around 10AM today. Then I had like 5 minutes of anxiety around 3:30 because I was worried about my teeth. But besides that I didn’t have too much anxiety.

Found out the person I’m dating has an ex-wife working where I do and she’s in different department and never see her except occasionally. Gives me some anxiety though. I’m someone who avoids drama and is probably somewhat avoidant to the point of not having a life. Maybe having a life means dealing with some anxiety.

I was taking Xanax .5 twice a day. Today I split a .5 in half and took one half at 6AM and one half at 9 and my anxiety hasn’t been this low in weeks, and I haven’t even taken the other .5

I guess it’s just that old saying “less is more” right?

Had another violent panic attack yesterday night. I managed to avoid one today. I was in the ER last night and they said the fluoxetine might be increasing unconscious delusions from psychosis so they gave me olanzepine 10mg to put under the tongue.

I stopped taking the fluoxetine and feel a bit better already..

Finally a great day at work. I have mentioned elsewhere how I am part of an advance team for a new store going up. I work very hard to do a good job all the while others do a great deal of standing about. Well I assisted a new manager and finally I got some recognition - finally appreciation, acknowledgement, and a job well done. Thank you. This makes going in a lot easier.

My anxiety was fine until I found out a voice message from yesterday from work saying not to come in today. Well. I came in today. No one told me I wasn’t supposed to be there. There was some comments about calls supposed to be made telling people not to come in. Some people were there. Some were not. Anyways. After I got the message at 2:30 I totally freaked. I called work and the manager I got on the phone, who was neither the one who had called yesterday or one I had dealt with today didn’t sound real happy. But maybe I was being paranoid. She said something about talking with the store manager.

I work tomorrow and I’m so worried I’m going to get into trouble for missing a message and going in when I shouldn’t have. There was work to do. So I assume it was a budget issue. I took one Xanax at 6AM and then 2 at 2:30. I had that extra one from yesterday. I slept until 5:30. I can barely eat dinner. I’ll probably be back in bed by 7.

I hope work goes smoothly for you tomorrow.

Thanks. Me too. Maybe it will work in my favor and it was a budget issue and they will just tell me not to come in on Saturday or something. I’m sure if I explain it to them it will be fine. I haven’t had issues at this job and I’ve done well with these managers.

I'm not doing well lately. I'm constantly in a state of hypervigilance and it's making me struggle with so many things.
I'm not getting more than 4-5h of sleep, it's affecting my my eating habits and I can not exercise (which is one of the very few things that helps me cope right now) because I'm too tired... I hate this. It's also making me feel more depressed and I can't bring myself to do anything productive

I know that this is mostly a generalized anxiety forum, but this describes my anxiety right now: displaced anxiety where I'm vaguely anxious about an OCD theme, but I'm not actively ruminating about it, but it still makes me quite anxious.

It wasn’t as bad as it has been. It was actually pretty low today for some reason. Maybe because of how tired I am. I don’t have the energy to be anxious.

Pretty busy lately with finally unpacking things that were in need of unpacking past few years since a family member will come stay with me. Staying busy with this and kind of being social some. “Kind of” since didn’t feel like going out Saturday and said I would, felt sad or depressed and kind of tired. Of course poor sleep did not help. Did go out Sunday and then for a walk so pretty cool.

The cats not doing too well I have a bad feeling this might be his last night. I have my dentist appointment tomorrow. I think it might be pretty bad. I’m hoping to just get all the bad news done with in one day. I have Thursday off so I can deal with my grief about the cat and anxiety about the dentist without having to worry about work.

Honestly Xanax does work slightly too good but I don’t really care at this point.

I've been on and off better. I keep getting these, what I've heard them referred to as, intrusive thoughts-negative thoughts or fears that something bad is going to happen or rather, could happen. But when I'm not thinking of those, I'm better than I have been. I think the increased exercise is helping.

Anxious today but it was manageable

had really bad stomach pain this morning and some diarrhea, had a couple of panic attacks but took an emergency pill and got through it.

anxiety was worse in these last three days. my anger management also at the worst too

I think I drank too much diet Lipton iced green tea because there’s no other reason why I should be having anxiety. But it’s been kind of steady all day. Even after getting off work (I’m off tomorrow) and even after getting a good report from the dentist. So it must be the large quantity of tea I drank today.

Went to meet friends at a pub. I was unusually anxious and irritable. I'd left and went home, ready to retire for the day.

Love to All!

WC

Had a few panic attacks since then but they're becoming less severe as I stopped taking the fluoxetine. Last night was the most recent where I tried going back to my dorm and felt too hypervigilant so I came back to my mom and sisters house, took lorazepam and finally calmed down.

When I was alone, it felt like people could hear my thoughts which ramped up my anxiety..

So just taking this one day at a time..

on monday I am going to have my first ever ride in an elevator and I'm kind of freaked by it.

I have questions: how big are they?

and how fast are they, and how long do they last?

someone's like.. aww look, if it's scaring you so much, you don't have to do the elevator- but you know what?. I am going to do it.

just a little scared about it. so many things could go wrong once you're inside it

Trying to remember what a day without anxiety use to feel like.....

I hope I don't get a panic attack tonight. Cant sleep. I wish I had something recreational to use (Since alcohol and weed give me panic attacks). I'm going to take 100mg diphenhydramine after I idle around on the computer and watch TV.

Had a severe panic attack last night. Had fo take 3 lorazepam one by one until it finally went down but I cant depend on benzos..

sorry to hear about the panic attack

I hope tonight is better for you

hey it is good to hear from you.

((((hugs))))