Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

Still anxious but trying to add a gentle voice when the anxious thoughts come rather than an inpatient, judgemental one.

one of my wheels has fallen off my computer chair- and it kind of feels like it's leaning towards one side, and I know if it goes, I'll be on the floor. slightly anxious that it will, and that I'll have to get a new one- since I can't fix things like that, it will stay like that until either someone comes round to have a go, or it breaks

on the pplus side, I watched a programme today with someone called vicky as one of the contestants (and vicky is a name that makes me anxious). she went on to win the jackpot, and I just sat watching it. I feel a little impressed with that

I’m still dealing with anxiety but it’s not too bad. It’s the stress and pressure from work that’s difficult. I have lost 5 pounds since Saturday because of it.

I'm probably going to see my doctor tomorrow for my refill. I notice that my appetite has changed a bit, otherwise i'm okay.

My manager wasn’t there today. We actually didn’t have a manager working with us today. So there wasn’t any anxiety. But there was still so much stress and pressure.

My anxiety was real bad today. I realized last night after looking at my pill pack I’m about 10 days away from getting my period. With PMDD you can begin to PMS as early as 2 weeks before your period. So I’m wondering if that’s the majority of where these mood swings and anxiety are coming from.

But I’d give my anxiety a 9 even with the 2 Xanax and being off work.

I went to my doctor yesterday for my Prozac refill. The rules has changed since there is a new owner/ doctor and they want everyone to visit every three months for one refill. I can't afford to go every three months since I don't have insurance, i'm feeling upset about that.

High high high anxiety can’t eat can’t sleep
Can’t breathe

My anxiety actually wasn’t that bad today. Maybe only like a 2. I didn’t even take a Xanax when I was at work. Maybe it was low because I took one late last night instead of yesterday afternoon. Anyways it was a nice break from how I have normally been feeling.

anxiousb ecause my favorite shiny ring has vanished.

I dropped it by my wardrobe, and now it isn't anywhere

shame. nice ring

and weird... they don't just vanish like that

I keep getting these anxious intrusive thoughts about emotional abuse that went on at a treatment center when I was a teenager. I wonder if I have CPTSD. The only time I ever really brought it up to a therapist (after leaving treatment) I got yelled at and told I did not have PTSD. So I never really mention it to anyone. The thoughts just get me angry and anxious and moody. They happen around 8 in the morning. They don’t affect how I work. If anything I work faster because they cause me to space out.

So yeah I had a bunch of these anxious thought this morning. Then I just had general anxiety off and on until 3 or so. Now it’s pretty much gone.

My supervisor will marry this Sunday. He hosts the wedding party at a very far place. I actually don't want to go because it's damn far and the bus to get there stops to operate after 8 PM. Taking uber car is so costly. I will get home at the midnight because of the distance. It makes me anxious because it is night. I fear my safety. I wish I have and could drive a car.

I hate this, but unfortunately I've got to come since he is my supervisor. It would damage my assessment if I don't. I hate it.

Anxiety over sleeping is getting better, still have a lot of anxiety about doing new things but I'm going to confront that by going to a science museum tomorrow

Having a difficult time controlling my anxiety today at work. Days like this make me wish I had a coworker I could talk to about my anxiety, but there is no one I trust. I am alone.

anxious about whether or not there will be enough food for dinner and lunch tomorrow.

My anxiety wasn’t too bad today. This one Xanax a day instead of two seems to work better.

I’ve been without my Xanax ER for about 6 days now and my anxiety is starting to rise.

My anxiety at work was really bad today. I hate it at morning meetings when
A manager stares at me when talking about what my department needs to improve in. I’m sure she doesn’t mean anything by it. I think it was just because I was the only one in my department in her line of sight. I took my Xanax early. I took it at 10:15 this morning. I’ve been up since before 2 and I am dealing with PMDD. I have 4 days left of my pills until I take my placebo. I’m also dealing with the holiday anxiety and I think I’m getting physically sick too. Also some weirdo messaged me on Facebook which was unsettling since this is a trigger of mine. I’m doing good with the one Xanax a day instead of two. I’m not going to tell my doctor this. I want to stockpile them in case something happens. I know this is probably not a good way to think.

Been doing okay. Xanax doesn't appear to be helping much anymore. Been taking it less and haven't been any more anxious without it but have been getting headaches, I suspect it's withdrawal. I see pdoc soon, am hoping I can switch to Ativan or something else.

My anxiety at work wasn’t too bad. during break my coworker fell asleep. It was just me and her and I couldn’t just leave her there. So I had to wake her up and tell her break was over. It was sort of anxiety provoking since I don’t know her very well and I haven’t had good results with waking people up before. She told me she was glad I woke her up. She said she probably would have continued to sleep.

This afternoon I went to the mall and of course it was crowded and I went into a shoe store where I’ve been many times before. Each time I’ve been there I’ve dropped $70-$80 on a pair of shoes and everyone’s been really nice. Today they were just weird and not very friendly. My mom noticed it too. I guess I can’t blame them. It is the weekend before Thanksgiving and I’m sure they are stressed about Black Friday and have deadlines and quotas to meet. It was just kind of odd. I felt like it was me who was acting odd even though my mom said it wasn’t.

Unfortunate that this would be considered a career limiting decision if you did not go. I am sorry to hear you are in such a situation. It is a shame your supervisor was not more supportive or understanding. Are you able to make a little white lie and say something important and critical has come up?

I definitely understand the worry about personal safety. Yep. This too would make me terribly anxious - especially having to use Uber or a cab. I wonder though if you could not car pool with a coworker. I am assuming they are aware of your transportation difficulties. Yes, I hate being dependent on people but I think this is a situation where I would have to put that aside.

Whatever you choose to do, ensure that it is right for you and not for someone else please.

Anxiety is skyrocketing again. I don't remember what it was like was like before I went back to work three months ago. I still had it but it definitely reached nowhere near these proportions. Part of the anxiety is on account of the fact I have no choice but to work. I worry that if something happens to this job that I am pretty much screwed. This in turn adds to the anxiety regarding my performance at work.

ANXIETY part 1 - The worry and panic has peaked again. This evening I will do a new duty I have not been trained for or had opportunity to job shadow. I resent this as I feel I am only set up to fail. I was thrown into this on account of a coworker having a family crisis. Not a single other coworker who IS trained for and experienced doing this particular role stepped forward to help her out by taking her shift. I did so because this is what coworkers do - they help one another when emergencies arise. The management is aware I have not been trained for this and have agreed out of their being no choice; despite the fact these duties are pretty critical. Hence my worry about screwing it all up. At least the woman wrote down for me the list of duties and procedures. I feel a little bit better about that. Still, I am being thrown into a pack of wolves. As a former manager myself this seems so very wrong. The store leadership should have made an effort to resolve this on their own instead of forcing this poor woman to come up with a solution. I am very disappointed in them - yet again. This is not an example of good and fair leadership. At the very least they should be more supportive of the position I have been placed in and come forward with a plan of action taking into account I am unexperienced. At the very lease, they should acknowledge this and validate my concerns.

ANXIETY part 2 - Dental worry. I am sure there are many here who hold their hands up high, "Me too!" I lost part of a tooth on Thursday night. Apparently I cracked it ages ago and it finally came loose. Gee it hurts and the dentist can't extract it until Wednesday on account it requires surgery and I have demanded sedation. I can't afford to do such but my anxiety is just too bloody high to sit in a chair awake during the procedure. Worry, worry, worry, panic, panic, panic.

Jeepers. When am I going to finally going to get a win in this battle.

It isn't as bad as yesterday. Yesterday I was in tears over my little chihuahua. I was so stressed that I would end up losing him. His health isn't good, but it is still manageable.

My anxiety today was mostly just from work. But It wasn’t affecting my performance or quantity of work. so it didn’t really matter I guess.

Wow! That sound awesome