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#1
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I am sitting at work and want nothing more then to cry. Just feel like this whole sickness, illness, mental battle is getting to be too much for me. Everytime I think I can deal with this, I have a break down.
I feel like I am totally loosing this fight. Like I am the only one out there that feels this way and that no one really understands what is going on with me. My therapist keeps telling me that I should not fight my feelings and I should just let them do what they need to do so that I can heal. How does that work when you work 40+ hours a week and have children to take care of? I just dont understand why this is happening to me and why I cant just get better. Any advice? Does anyone else ever feel like this? ![]() ![]()
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Take Care You! Aleks ![]() |
#2
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I understand a lot of your feelings, so just know that you're not alone.
![]() I have always had trouble with my feelings. Sometimes I cry a lot, other times I can't cry -- sometimes I just feel dead inside. The problem with mental health disorders is that you can't just switch off what's going on in your head, you still have to deal with life. I have learned to cry when I can, because I never know when I'll be able to do so again. When I'm at work and feeling like I'm going to have a meltdown, I go to the bathroom and let it loose. A couple times a day if it's necessary, no one ever catches on and it really boosts me up for a while. You could try it at home too, especially if you have a bathroom with a lock (to keep the kids out). I think it's always better to let your feelings out instead of repressing them. I hope this helps you and at least let's you know others feel that way too. ![]()
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![]() " I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence. The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth. Please don't tell me that we had that conversation, 'Cause I won't remember, save your breath 'cause what's the use? Aahh, the night is calling, and it whispers to me softly, "Come and play". Aahh, I am falling, and if I let myself go I'm the only one to blame. I'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me, but why do I feel this party's over? No pain, inside, you're like perfection, but how do I feel this good sober?" (From the song "Sober", by Pink)
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#3
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Thank you thank you thank you!
I think I may have to try just letting the tears flow free when I can. I totally understand not being able to cry when I have the time. I have tried to make myself cry (sad thoughts and music) just to get it out and NOTHING!! Quote:
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Take Care You! Aleks ![]() |
#4
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I used to cry at work a LOT. I was constantly running to the restroom to let it out a bit to see if it would help. Sometimes it did, sometimes it didn't.
While walking to the restroom I tried to use a grounding technique I'd heard of that is focusing on the sole of your foot with each step, feeling your heel make contact first, then ending with your toes. I also wrote notes for myself. I journal but of course can't journal at work, but I could write down important things--feelings and the thoughts associated with the feelings. I would keep add to it as the day went on. At some point I would tuck it into my purse to take home to think and write more about later. ![]() |
#5
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I couldn't stop crying at work either. Lucky for me, I had my own private office where I could close my door & sit something in front of it so no one could come in without knocking. Sadly, my job was one of the main reasons for my crying & it wasn't until 14 years later when I finally left my husband in California & bought my farm in Kentuky, that I realized how much my marriage was also part of the problem.
Before that when I just had frustration problems & felt like I would end up crying, I would take a break & walk around where I worked for miles. By the time I got back, my mind had handled the situation & I was ok......even with a few tears shed along the walk. It's important to be able to let out your feelings when they are happening in a private location rather than holding them in. I worked around all men, so I would never let out my emotions around them....always in private. But even more important is knowing what is causing those emotions so you can understand them.....that is the most difficult thing in the whole world to do & it wasn't for years & my own figuring it out that I knew what all the tears were all about. Life isn't easy when you have the demands of work all day (or longer in my case) & demands of family at home....there isn't much time to give yourself to your own emotions.....but for your own wellbeing....you need to give yourself that time....& it is very ok to cry or do whatever it takes to express those emotions. Debbie
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![]() Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
#6
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Debbie,
Thank you for your kind words. Quote:
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Take Care You! Aleks ![]() |
![]() eskielover
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#7
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i cried in college A LOT or after college. but it was always the reason...after presentations. we all do it. when we are impatiant with our healing process - we just make everything worse...
just.... DON`T YOU LOVE THE MOMENT? afterwards when you remmber everyhting that happenes to you....this is a part of your inner world, a part of what makes you the person you are today. it is a part of who you are! its no fun..but its all our essence !!! this is our life going on! i cry a lot these days - for good or bad reasons - but i am happy for both, because it means i am ALIVE....that i am on my way for something better i think your therapist recognizes it |
#8
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Funny you would bring that up. I always feel so much better about everything with a good cry. I think you are right, mabey its because it puts things back into perseptive.
I really do have a lot to be greatful for, and am my own worst critic. I am not a patient person. Until anxiety happened to me I was almost never sick. I just keep asking myself "why me, why is this happening to me", "what did I do to deserve this", "Why am I being punished".
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Take Care You! Aleks ![]() |
#9
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Quote:
we have to keep moving. it happenes whether we wan it or not. |
#10
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Funny that is what my psych said too. Its my reality so I need to make it into something I can live with not to mention deal with. He believes that I take on too much at once and then get overwhelmed when things dont work on how I had planned them to or in my time frame. I guess in most cases he is right, I am a bit of a perfectionsit. I know I am hard on myself a lot of the time. What do you do?
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Take Care You! Aleks ![]() |
#11
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I - well untill now - i did EXACTLY the same.
I don`t know what to tell you about the time issue - how to deal with it better - but i guess that for the begining -both you and me need to see - we KNOW from experience how much of what we plan we get done in reality. so: if you planed 100% and got only 30% of it done (yeah happened to me many times ![]() Yesterday i made a list of things i wanted to do. I KNOW what i havet to do but i DID NOT select any time frame! times frames stress the livig **** out of me! seriously. I delaied tmy graduating froject for nest year - which means i am going to get the diploma only next year - because of my disability to work due to stress. I dont know how about you, i guess you know better for yourself. |
#12
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