accepting adhd at 40+ need support

I am having a very difficult time accepting mental illness. I know I have something, and I will see a psychologist this week to talk about adhd. I had an anxiety/depression "episode" a couple of years ago and have worn myself out researching mental health. I am sure now that I have adult adhd - and it makes perfect sense now. My son was diagnosed with adhd 16 years ago after a lot of denials and trial and error. At the time, my parents and in laws were dead set against him having any kind of mental help and said that a pill would become his "crutch". And that he would not learn how to pay attention if he took medicine. And that teachers were just trying to make him fit a "mold". Mental illness is definitely looked down upon in my family. I am having a hard time with this because adhd has been "my normal". I have functioned, but have struggled tremendously along the way. So for the good of myself and everyone I love, I am going for help. Is there anyone out there diagnosed with adhd in their middle age? And have you come to terms with the so called stigma of mental illness? I feel like I have lost all credibility with my much respected family doctor now that he is sending me for mental help. I don't feel "normal" any more and it makes me feel so sad and afraid. Never thought I would go online about this- sorry this is so lengthy.

I'm sorry that you have felt unsupported by others. It's part of the stigma of mental illness that people have dealt with for decades. We are still dealing with it. Please know that whether you have a mental illness or not, you are still you. And getting help for it is a good thing. It's a sign of strength to recognize that you need help with something and are willing to go out and get it.

I do some assessment of ADHD in adults on a college campus. For those who do have it, it's very nice to see the relief they feel when they are told that they do indeed have the disorder...that there is an explanation for why they always have struggled compared to other folkds.

There are some very good books available out there. You may have already run across these in your research. If not, I highly recommend them. They are "Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood"

or "YOU MEAN I'M NOT LAZY, STUPID OR CRAZY?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder"

or "ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life"

I hope it goes well when you see the psychologist.

gg

Thank you so much for your reply. I will look for the books you suggested. If only I had known about adult adhd in college. I suffered such low self esteem and was painfully shy. I do have a very supportive husband now and I already feel like I can get some support from this forum. I feel so stupid for ignoring this problem for all these years. I always thought I lived a charmed life. I've had so much joy in my life, but the inner struggle has been unbelievably disruptive to my peace of mind. Thanks for participating - I see you've been a member for some time now.

I must add my WELCOMES as well. I am 37. I was diagnosed with ADD a bit ago. I felt incredible relief with the diagnosis. It explained so many of my traits. I believe ADD is considered a neurological disorder. Someone correct me if I am wrong. People with ADD do tend to have other issues as well. Like, low self esteem, depression, anxiety, etc. I believe these other issues are a result of undiagnosed ADD.

Welcome again. I am glad you are here.

Deb

Welcome, and good for you for taking the initative to find out. I am in my mid forties, (denial) ok, late forties I was diagnoised while my ex-wife and I were in maritial counseling. Yes, it felt good to know why I always felt different, and why I have had such difficulties with school. And why the butterfly and bee outside the school window were more interesting than the teacher.

At least now I know.

Finally, if your family still has problems accepting mental health issues perhaps describing medication as glasses for the brain may help. Good luck.

Joe

Thanks everyone. I had my first appointment with a psychologist today.
He also told me that adhd is a neurological disorder... but my neurologist at Duke said the psychologist was the one to make the diagnosis. I have epilepsy also and I have a very good neurologist. But my internet research says that is a mental illness and my neurologist said that neurologists are not experts with adhd. It's so confusing! I really don't care what they call it now, I'm so worn out.
I thought it would be several visits before I would be diagnosed, but the man I saw today believes I have a serious adhd problem and the thing now is to tackle all of the emotional issues and low self esteem I have been dealing with. The mental thing is undeniable.
My heart was pounding so hard when I got there this morning. But it turns out that seeing a psychologist was actually kind of fun in some ways, and the whole thing is so interesting. I had a captive audience- I like to talk. And I got to sit in a rocking chair, if you can imagine the fun I had with that.
While it is good to know what my problem is, now I have to figure out what in the world to do about it! Because I have my seizure disorder, medication is going to be tricky. It's possible I will be able to take Strattera. I have so many other issues to straighten out - like my house (it's a wreck)- and my job. It's going to be a long road.
Thanks again for the support. Hope I will learn enough through my experiences to maybe help someone else too.