[Rachie]

I had ADHD when i was at school which i only just found out i had the other day when i saw a pdoc. But ive been thinking i still act the exact same way i did at school. Im only 21 does anyone think its still possible that i have it, especially because it was untreated? I also have BPD could that be wiy i still have ADHD traits?

Hi Rachie,

Originally Posted by Rachie

I had ADHD when i was at school which i only just found out i had the other day when i saw a pdoc.

Im not sure what this means . Is school grades Kthrough 12? or colledge?

But ive been thinking i still act the exact same way i did at school. Im only 21 does anyone think its still possible that i have it, especially because it was untreated?

from all im learning about ADHD the answer would be yes Rachie. ADHD is hireditary so your born with it. It has to be treated with meds and behavior modification and education.

I also have BPD could that be why i still have ADHD traits?

Well if you hAVE adhd you had that before the BPD dianosis.

If you were diagnoise with BPD in your teens or earlie adult hood the ADHD was probaby missed because most therapists who treat adults are not very eduacated about ADHD to diagnosis it . They would have to send you to a Child phychologist who speciizes in ADHD and treats adults.



It may be more likely you have ADHD with borderline traits if you had adhd as a child or the symtoms as a child. Im not sure yet what your pdoc meant by "you had it in school " . the symptoms of ADHD and BPD are so very close.

With ADHD the abundance of activites the starting and stopping and boredom often appear as not having sense of self or idenity often one is not sure of what they want to do .and have alot of incompletness i thier lives . This is a result of having ADHD.
WITH BPD im not sure what thier reasons are for a lack of self except for maybe extreme abuse or addictions

addictions are common with those who have adhd . Impulse control is common and the need to self medicate.

thats all for now . i encourage you to do alot of reading about ADHD. things may start to come together for you and make alot of sense .

Patricia

[Rachie]

When my pdoc was asessing me to make a diagnosis she said i had adhd when i was in school, i was kicked out of school when i was 17 and that was only 3 and a half years ago so thats why im thinking if i had it then i definately still have it now. I definately have pretty much most of the symptoms if not all of the symptoms of bpd so i do believe i have that too. Can you have bpd and adhd? I think i definately need to look into it more. I see my pdoc again in 2months, do you think i should mention this to her ?

Originally Posted by Rachie

When my pdoc was asessing me to make a diagnosis she said i had adhd when i was in school, i was kicked out of school when i was 17 and that was only 3 and a half years ago so thats why im thinking if i had it then i definately still have it now.

I'm Sorry you got Kicked out Rachie,

maybe if the teachers in school knew what you had ADHD it coud have been prevented . much of this stuff we really cannot help .and need help to function better .

I'll bet dollars to donuts that you do still have it!

I can't find my Driven to Distraction book.. I don't know where I put it.

LOL..

I think on page 125 ? there is a list of ADHD symptoms and he then lists the ones for BPD. I think you can have both . they look the same i driven to distracion just a matter of semantics with a few . I recall thinking .

I definately have pretty much most of the symptoms if not all of the symptoms of bpd so i do believe i have that too. Can you have bpd and adhd? I think i definately need to look into it more. I see my pdoc again in 2months, do you think i should mention this to her ?

Should you tell the Pdoc That you have BPD? Is this self diagnoised Rachie? or Did another therapist tell you you have BPD?

Just share ALL your symptoms . medications are prescibed to treat symptoms . Rachie .

since you have two months I would do all the reading you can.

Im reading a book that adresses the person with ADHD who is mainly a right brain visual thinker learner . There are some check lists for symptoms that may speak to you,

and as your reading and learning try to go back as far as you can in your childhood to see if these symptoms have always been around . you may be able to ask your parents if they recognize some of them .


from Freed and Shappiro 4 weeks to an organized life with AD/HD

Adhd is defined by a pattern of symptoms .
if you have problems with focus , concentration , or follow through

or get over loaded , over whelmed or unmotivated and put things off only "once in awhile" or for a short period in your life . then you DO NOT have ADHD . If you have ADHD you wil find a pattern of symptoms and problems in your life ' for as long as you can remember '

another is if you lack motivation and procrastinate only when clinically depressed then thats not ADHD either .

heres one list.


1.Do you procrastinate , regularly putting off tasks that , for you, require alot of energy?

2, Do you have difficulty completeing tasks

3. Do you often forget or find yourself late for apointments

4. do you feel restless or full of nervous energy and compelled to do things .
5. Do you have trouble organizing yourself to do a complex task?
6. Do you fidget or squirm , needing to move some part of your body if you have to sit or keep still.

also.

1 Do you find yourself lost in your own thoughts , even when someone is talking directly to you?
2. do you have difficulty throwing things away, even if they have little value or sepcific usefuness to you.
3. Do you react quickly to conflict?

4. Do you sometimes BLURT things out and then wish that you hadn't spoken ? ,
5. Do you take things to heart, finding yourself easily hurt and sensitive.

6. Do you find most problems dissapear when you have something intresting to do?

there are different types of ADHd too . hyperactive and innattentive and combined , Rachie . and I heard that if you have innattentive, stimulant meds do not work .



Patricia

[Rachie]

I have been diagnosed with BPD depression and anxiety. I was reading through the info on ADHD here on pc and if i was to be properly diagnosed id say it would be the combined ADHD. I have been the way i am for as long as i can remember and when reading through the symptoms of ADHD i have alot of the symptoms. Ive now completely forgotten what i was writing and for the moment i cant remember any of it so i will have to fix my reply up when i remember. Sorry i was off in la la land again.

Originally Posted by Rachie

I have been diagnosed with BPD depression and anxiety. I was reading through the info on ADHD here on pc and if i was to be properly diagnosed id say it would be the combined ADHD. I have been the way i am for as long as i can remember and when reading through the symptoms of ADHD i have alot of the symptoms. Ive now completely forgotten what i was writing and for the moment i cant remember any of it so i will have to fix my reply up when i remember. Sorry i was off in la la land again.

Hi Rachie,

Thats what I seeing in myself a well . Im the combined type . l'll just say this . looking at myself through the lens of ADHD is revaling much more than the tweny years of therapy I have had, None of which ADHD was mentioned.

I can relate to the forgetting what I just wrote. Its not uncommon when I get on a typing roll to repeate myself two or three times. its very frustrating. last night I was trying to read my book. i had to re read paragraphs over and over .

I finnally know why now . Its always been this way.

now the tears I weep are making sence.

it might be good to write down the connections you make about yourself while your reading about ADHD.

I have probelms doing that . So if your resitant I understand . and if Im writting things down by hand I can not read my own hand writting much of the time. And its hard to focus to do the writting because because because.....



Patricia

[Rachie]

I cant read my own handwriting either. Sometimes i write down the way im feeling and what is wrong when i have a strong urge to harm myself and i go back later to try and read it and because ive written it that fast i cant understand it, also the writing also looks so angry its very weird. Im annoyed i had something really good to say before and i still cant remember it!

when you say i should write down the connections i have myself with adhd do you mean the symptoms i see in myself?. I also know the feeling of having to re read things i have to do it all the time because things just dont sink in, ive already read your last post 6 times. Also when im reading really long posts sometimes ill find myself almost at the end of it and not even remember what the hell its about. I will read it but its just like its all different words that dnt make semnse because ive started thinking about completely different things whle im reading

[Callista]

Have you tried typing instead, Rachie? That way the handwriting won't be a problem, and any garble you get will just be typos and grammar.

I agree with the previous posters, BTW; ADHD is life-long. Many people lose the hyperactivity as they grow older, and instead of fidgeting and running, end up with a sort of inner restlessness. Or you may (like me) not have had any real hyperactivity for a very long time, and instead tend to drift off and daydream.

You may actually learn to take advantage of your ADHD traits. My "daydreams" are free-association; the same effect people get when they brainstorm something. That makes me rather creative, and it affects my learning style, since I learn by connecting concepts to each other. If I focus on that sort of learning, I do better...

"ADHD" is really quite a broad category of the way some people's brains work; one person with ADHD is nowhere near identical to any other. You can't just learn about ADHD; you have to learn your own brain. If you can get a sort of self-awareness... metacognition, I think, is the technical word for it--"thinking about thinking"--you can start to map your own mental processes, find out how you're processing information and putting it together into facts, etc. For you, ADHD is normal; so assuming you are like typical people, or assuming the same things that work for them will work for you, can be counterproductive! For example, when a typical person procrastinates, the reason tends to be anxiety, overwork, etc., but someone with ADHD (in addition to those reasons) may procrastinate simply because the task seems too overwhelming an he doesn't know where to start. There are things that'll be unique to you, or unique to people with ADHD, that you'll want to learn about, understand, and possibly harness to work to your benefit.

Re. meds: Many adults still need ADHD meds; but not everybody needs them, and they really shouldn't be the only thing you do. I highly suggest getting yourself a coach who can help you get organized and stay organized. Most counselors have the necessary training. Meds are there to make it easier to learn to become organized... many people can actually stop them eventually, or lower the dose. I'm in the unfortunate few percent who don't respond to medication; but I can still get a small but significant amount of extra focus when I drink caffeine! That might be something you can try--just don't drink it every day, or you'll build up a tolerance and the effect will decrease.

Originally Posted by Rachie

I cant read my own handwriting either. Sometimes i write down the way im feeling and what is wrong when i have a strong urge to harm myself and i go back later to try and read it and because ive written it that fast i cant understand it, also the writing also looks so angry its very weird. Im annoyed i had something really good to say before and i still cant remember it!

thats real frustrating isn't it... because here your trying to write about whats going on inside and when you go back to read or maybe share it with a therapist you can't and the thoughts vanish . and you try again anothr time.

Callista wrote about MANY great things to think about Rachie. in he new post to you. I hope you can read it. I know your having a hard time focusing enough to let it sink in . D the best you can and try not to be hard on yourself.

when you say i should write down the connections i have myself with adhd do you mean the symptoms i see in myself?.

Yes . Callista says some good things about this .

she mentioned typing would be better,and shes right.

But we are noT always around a typeing device and if your like me i grab the nearst pice of anything magizine envelope an write stuff down and then i loose track of that.

I have a small tape recorder.

and im a bit impatient to figure out how it works. I think talking into one of those small pocket recorders would be great . just keeping track of it and having it near by is another thing to figure out.

I also know the feeling of having to re read things i have to do it all the time because things just dont sink in, ive already read your last post 6 times. Also when im reading really long posts sometimes ill find myself almost at the end of it and not even remember what the hell its about. I will read it but its just like its all different words that dnt make semnse because ive started thinking about completely different things whle im reading

yes its called zoning out. Callista mentions some positive aspects of this .

hope this is not too long.

gotta go .

Patricia

[Rachie]

Thanx for the reply guys! Sorry it took me so long to write back. At the moment i cant type my thoughts down as i dont have a computer. Im using the internet on my fone. Hopefully getting a computer soon tho! I have way too much stufe to write at times and using my fone to write it all down just hurts my fingers (ive tried it lol). I still fidget and move around ALOT jnd i also zone out alot aswel but i think that also has something to do with my BPD. Also have the problem with not being able to start or complete tasks and also i start doing one thing and halfway thr that go do something else and stop doing that go do something else etc then i end up completely forgetting what im doing mr just not finish anything! Im very disorganised at times lol. Thanks so much for your help its very much appreciated. Yous have given me alot to think about and do to help me

Originally Posted by Rachie

I still fidget and move around ALOT jnd i also zone out alot aswel but i think that also has something to do with my BPD.

Hi Rachie,

LOL. i was thonking using the phone might be an option . but I don't have a cell phone .

hey thonking ..LOL .. see i love making spelling errors.

this may be a tough one to tease apart. the zoning out being yor BPD .. everything you share sounds classic ADHD to me from all I have read from other sharing about it and what I'm learning about.

those who have Innatentive tend to be more inner distracted and dreamy . lost in thought , can't listen because they are thinking about something elses. its common to have what appears as intrusive thoughts. those can just be thinking from all angles and feeling overwhelmed.

You are the only person who can figure this Out Rachie, the therapists just see you and your symptoms. They can place terminology within one diagnosis that is the same thing with differnt terminology in another .

your self injury may be a result of having so much information come at you while thinking about things your trying to do or interactios with others ,what they said ,what they mean when they used certain words .that you get in a state of over whelmness , paralisis , shame and just feeling real bad or angry .frutrated .

don't you feel the frurtation now just in reading this? so you try to find a way to stop it all . or get rid of all the onlslaught of thoughts,
this is very common with ADHD.

try breathing deeply three times between reading each paragrah,

see if your a right brain thinker. I know I am . im really relating to this new book im reading . Its opening my eyes up .

'4weeks to an organized life with AD/HD'

By Jeffry Freed, M.A.T. and Joan Shapirio, MD

at first I wasn't gonna look at it . I though

4 weeks yah B.S. !
but then saw this. in fine print...

(author of Rightbraind children in a left brained world.)

I haven't gotten to the 4 week plan yet . actaully making myself read Part one first . which is not my style ,

Im hoping to finish part one by June 4 and then have a whopping huge celleration on the fourth of July

ha ..cellarbration as in cleaning out the cellar...

Later ,



Patricia

[Rachie]

Lol thonking that made me giggle also like the cellarbration hehe. How do you work out if you are a right or a left brain thinker? You make a very good point about the overload of thoughts and such and that leading to me wanting to self harm because that does happen to me. Just last night for instance i had so many thoughts and other such things running thru my head that all i wanted to do was hurt myself. Thankfully i didnt. I just put the headphones on my phome and listened to some really loud music on my phone while i played a game. That help alot it wore me out and i went off to sleep. But vnfortunately things like that dont always work but glad it worked last night. Do you find that when you re read things sometimes that it always seems different because you missed stuff the first few times you read. That jtst happend to me (useless bit of info for the nite lol). The more i read about ADHD the more i truely believe i still have this. I definately believe i have BPD aswell (i think i may have already mentioned that previously sorry) i suppose the best thing to do would be to mention it to my pdoc when i see her next. then

Originally Posted by Rachie

How do you work out if you are a right or a left brain thinker?

sometime with weights . At other times dance , figure skating . gardening.

*****************************************************

this was my first thought LOL!!!! and then I realized you might want me to EXPLAIN what a right brain thinker is .

Golly.
might I suggest reading chapter two ,

titled "Picture this ,the visual thinker " page 47 .

Its only 17 pages , for $17.00 to possibly expalin why you had problems in school at age 17.

heres the book . and read the positive reveiws

http://www.amazon.com/Weeks-Organize.../dp/1589793269

Do you have a barnes and nobel book store near by in your town? If so you can have this book special ordered .

Go in and have a seat and read this chapter and browes it and from there deside if this would be a great book to have .
I think it would Be Rachie.

it is by far the best .I have TRIED to read . It descrices me to a T AND it gives me the reason why I sleep in my work clothes. :P

heres a few things about right brain .

~ right brain thinker / learners visualize thoughts , as in creating images of what is written or spoken .in the mind.

they tend to look/ veiw and interpret from many angles . thinking is non linear and not oragnized or sequential .
**************************************

lleft brain thinker/learners

from the book...

" auditory learners are different in that these left- brain people process information like a tape recorder , and remember information more verbal linear fashion. because they visualize relatively pooly , they must write things down and make listsnor linear . logial and sequential . you do this then this then this . the red things and process th
**********************************************

"right brained visual thinkers are rapid fire thinkers , whose ideas can take off in many directions . this can lead to a great performance or impulsivity"

" your ability to veiw things from different perspectives .......

( my insertion, like veiwing pictures or objects from many angles visually)

.......allows you to view social situations from different angles "

"this tendencey to veiw social situations from different angles can be overwhelming"

intresting.. some would say they are always missinterpreting a situation and this makes for bieng abusive ,
i guess if you believe an interpretaion that appears negative . yes thais can vause havoc.

me gettig side tracked

see this is gonna be difficult for you to folow me . its better for you to read the book . that way i don't interupt

heres a dity about right brain left brain from my own words

right brain usually does not name things .
its visual .
it sees a box and its a bunch of lines and shadows or shades .

its in the moment .

it has no opionin on what it sees.

its non verbal .

left brain names and gives logic and meaning to things .

Just last night for instance i had so many thoughts and other such things running thru my head that all i wanted to do was hurt myself. Thankfully i didnt. I just put the headphones on my phome and listened to some really loud music on my phone while i played a game. That help alot it wore me out and i went off to sleep.

But vnfortunately things like that dont always work but glad it worked last night.

great combo/ people with ADHD frequently have music or the TV running in the back ground . this serves a s a white noise to help focus .

I see how the music helped balst out al the other thoughts or images comming at you that you coauld not get down staright i a fashion to see what was going on /

the music allowed you to get into hyperfocus on your games this is very good for you to allow your self to Do . because it works.

the difficuty is i watching the time .. three hours can pass and you feel like not only have yo not figured out the relationship probelm or how to accomplish a task youve used up time

so setting a limit of an hour. but if you have the problems of a right brain thinker you wil go to rty to fugure somethig out to do get in te state of overwhelm again and its off the ote video game

and the need for something new that is intresting and callenging is what also calls us .

i would try to brain storm other combiations where you can listen to music and do a activity you enjoy as ways to redirect when your starting to get to that confused overwhelmed place.
for me it's food I go for when i get like that.

Do you find that when you re read things sometimes that it always seems different because you missed stuff the first few times you read. That jtst happend to me (useless bit of info for the nite lol).

YES ! its the rapid fire movement of your brain that causes u to miss thngs . depending what were expecting can make a big difference in how we read if its a cnverstaion about 'us' we can pick up key wrds and make them sound like what we are looking for rather than what the oter person is meaning .

and i also just miss stuff persiod .

te brain interuots momentairly and quickley to it makes sense as to how easy it would be to miss a few words.

so it helps to reread something . or slow down . and even take a day break and reread it looking for something positive . or new.

The more i read about ADHD the more i truely believe i still have this. I definately believe i have BPD aswell (i think i may have already mentioned that previously sorry) i suppose the best thing to do would be to mention it to my pdoc when i see her next. then

yes you did already mention. and I do think it woud be a good idea to mention if you self harm and that you were given a diganosis already . see what she says about this .
And please keep educating yourself .



Patricia

[Rachie]

Im not ignoring you patricia just havent been in the right frame of mind to concentrate. Actually i feel like im going crazy. Having major problems with the bf at the moment. Dont know what to do or think! Ahhh i just want to end it all

Originally Posted by Rachie

Im not ignoring you patricia just havent been in the right frame of mind to concentrate. Actually i feel like im going crazy. Having major problems with the bf at the moment. Dont know what to do or think! Ahhh i just want to end it all

oh Rachie,,,

Relationship drama has away of holding our intrest and distract us from our recovery and at times help us to feel bad about ourselves.

We can learn from its struggles so its never in vain.

Just remember your working hard on you even though you get side tracked.

Your very young. And if this relationship fails a new and better one will surface . And we will be more centered and knowledgeable about ourselves to counter any negatives hurled ourway.

This will be here when your in a better place to focus on you again ..



Patricia

[Rachie]

Im back lol. I have a bookshop in the town i live in but its the size of a shoebox and doesnt have a very large selection, ill try out the local library tho as theres a couple of other books id like to try and read aswel. As for the right brain left braing thingy i think i might be a right brain thinker . Ah im a great time waster lol i always lose track of time, especially late at night. With the noise thing i always have to have noise, it doesnt have to be loud it just has to be there, i even need the radio on to sleep other wise i cant sleep as good.. Hmm i think that was all i was going to write, got side tracked by the tv hehe. Ah i should be in bed its nearly 2am here! Talk soon

rach

Originally Posted by Rachie

Im back lol. I have a bookshop in the town i live in but its the size of a shoebox and doesnt have a very large selection, ill try out the local library tho as theres a couple of other books id like to try and read aswel. As for the right brain left braing thingy i think i might be a right brain thinker . Ah im a great time waster lol i always lose track of time, especially late at night. With the noise thing i always have to have noise, it doesnt have to be loud it just has to be there, i even need the radio on to sleep other wise i cant sleep as good.. Hmm i think that was all i was going to write, got side tracked by the tv hehe. Ah i should be in bed its nearly 2am here! Talk soon

rach

Hi Rachie,

Hope things worked out well with your boyfriend. Thats a good Idea about the library . Maybe through interlibrary loan if its not in yours.. the book was published in 2007.

I think you are right brain if you like computer games they are very visual .

the ideas for organinzing in this book is to visualize yourself doing a project or task from beginning to end before doing it.

I had a thought this morning.

Knowing how Lists do not work for me I thought maybe i need a small space on a table thats my visual list of what I need to do or get.

place an item thats represents a task or item I intend to get .

say Im out of light bulbs . I set the last one on my visual list table ..instaed of throwing it away.



Patricia

[Rachie]

Hey things are going alright with my boyfriend. I was reading some info on the net about what the partner goes thru when dealing with a partner who has BPD. I wrote him a letter and apologised to him because i finally realised that alot of our problems are my fault. Ive been austing my bum off trying to keep my cool around him. Its so hard. But im getting there slowly i think...

i like the idea of having a visual list, i think i may just have to try that! I still havent gotten to the library yet. Next time i go shopping at a bigger town i might even have to check out the book shop as i think i may be better off owning these books because i know ill read them over and over.

talk soon, Rachelle