Hurtful word?

Disclosure: I myself am bipolar, and di not have children on the autism spectrum.

I seem to see the term "aspie" used in a mocking manner other places on the internet to me, this seems like such a belittling term.

How do those of you on the spectrum or with loved ones, feel about this?

What would be a proper thing to say to people using this term, if this is indeed offensive and I am not just being sensitive?

I have AS and personally, I use the word Aspie to describe myself. I like the word; describing myself as an Aspie gives me a sense of connection to a community of people like myself which after years of not feeling connected to anybody around me, is pretty comforting. I've not actually seen it used offensively, though that's not to say it doesn't happen.

I have seen immature posters on other sites call each other "aspie" to imply a clueless person who doesn't get it. Whether "it" be a joke, the topic of convrsation, etc.

These people use it as a put-down. As I said, I don't have aspergers, but I do have mental illness, and it just seems...I dunno. Wrong.

Edit: not to imply that those with aspergers shouldn't use this term, I am bothered by those who do NOT suffer using it.

Hurtful? Yes. I feel like a pet when it is used to describe me. Asperger's Syndrome/ASD is my cognitive style not my identity. I refuse to call myself an Aspie and so does my family.

Aspie is commonly used on the internet. I never heard an ASD professional use the term.

Well yes, in that context it would be offensive I guess. It happens with a lot of words though so I try not to worry about it (too much). Take the word 'gay' for instance. How many people throw that around as either an insult or in the completely wrong context for what the word actually means. Some people are just very narrow minded and don't think or care about who they may cause offence to.

I guess it's all about personal choice. I see my AS as a part of my identity, it has ruled my life for the most part (since I was undiagnosed until recently), it makes me different to others around me so I chose to embrace it upon my diagnosis. But like all individuals, we don't all like the same things or see ourselves the same way so not every person with AS will like it.

It was actually an ASD professional from whom I first heard the word during my diagnosis stage. She didn't use it in the context of "you're an Aspie", but she was explaining that a lot of people with AS refer to themselves as Aspies and call people not on the spectrum NTs.

Well, I will continue to be irritated by the derogatory use, but I guess there isn't much to be done about it.

I love all y'all, and I've got your backs!

I don't care what people call themselves. Whatever works for you. I just don't want to called Didgee the Aspie.

NT and Aspie were terms I discovered on the internet. The doctor who diagnosed me never heard of these terms. She actually laughed when I told her what an NT was.

There is an autism subculture in my city. We usually call Asperger's AS or ASD. I only heard one person refer to herself as an Aspie.

I have only been diagnosed a couple of months and I don't really use the term Aspie but I don't find it offensive. Rosska beat me to it about the whole "gay" thing. It is the context of the use, not the word itself.

I remember after I was first diagnosed I was talking on a chatroom about "Aspie traits" and one woman was like "hmm... uh huh... that's very interesting... but erm... where is Aspie exactly?"

The correct use of a term/name always shows understanding. The incorrect use of a term/name shows ignorance. Your ignorance is not my problem unless I am trying to have a conversation directly with you and it is getting in the way. At that point I have to decide whether you are expressing willful ignorance or just "factual" ignorance and might be open to discussion of it with me. If someone you are talking to is expressing willful ignorance, one says, "Your ignorance disgusts me" or something of that nature and you walk away. The person does not disgust you, just their choice to be ignorant about the subject/lack of effort to be knowledgeable.

Ignorant people are entitled to opinions but those opinions are likely to be ignorant! Because I have a different opinion and/or believe I am more knowledgeable does not give me a right to express my opinion in order to "shut down" another person's opinion or expression. What is that expression, "like wrestling with a pig"? You just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it/doesn't care? We all know the media, social media, etc. is full of ignorant opinions, each trying to yell louder than the other. Jumping in that fray just makes more mud, does not clear anything up for anyone.

If I am called a term/name and have a strong reaction; that's my problem, not the person calling me the name! I have to look to see where my hurt or unpleasant feelings are coming from and deal with that in me, not with the other person. There, too, "Your ignorance disgusts me" and walking away works well but in that case it would be the person's ignorance about me.

I get what you are saying but it feels like you are giving me and others who feel the same crap.

Actually, the bad word is NT. It's often used in the Asperger community to belittle people who do not have Asperger's.

Calling oneself an aspie is a little pop but whatever works.

Using terms of "outsiders" to put people down has always happened and always will. In my days people kids found annoying or different they called CP, mongoloid etc.

I'd never thought of NT as a "belittling" term, can you explain that? I thought using neurotypical was just a way of referring to people without resorting to problematic phrases like "normal".

Yeah I agree with Pandoren on that one. I don't think using NT is offensive. It's less offensive to those of us on the spectrum than calling them 'normal'. NT is a very literal description, they have typical neurology, that's hardly any more of an insult than us saying they have green eyes.

Again, the word doesn't make it offensive, it's down to usage. If people on the spectrum use the term to belittle somebody, that doesn't make the word offensive, it makes the people using it offensive.

I'm not meaning to give you crap or make you feel like I am giving you crap, little didgee

If you are not an "aspie" (we're talking about whether you identify with the name, not about whether you have Asperger's Syndrome) then it is like a schoolyard where the other person is desperate and not very good thinking up insults.

If you take "aspie" personally and identify with it and feel anything but affection for the nickname (ashamed when someone else calls you by that name) then you have a personal issue with being ashamed of yourself?

No, no one else should try to demean us but no one else can demean me if I know who I am and am glad I am Me. We can't control what others say or do but we can seek to know, balance, and center ourselves. If we are focused on ourselves, we can't also "care" about what the other person is doing if it is not helpful to us.

Thank you.

I was bullied in school. The word "Aspie" does not compare to that experience. Aspie is a pet name at least in my opinion. Didgee the pet human. Grrrrr. I tend to be quite literal. Perhaps, that is my problem.

No, I am not ashamed of who I am. Actually, I like myself. Sure, I could use some improvement.

I never felt the need to identify to a specific group and/or community. Even though, I am quite active in the local autism community, I feel no need to wear the label or prove myself to others.

Note: my opinion only applies to me.

Here's my take on all of this. It all comes down to the transfer of POWER.

This is true in SO many different situations. This is just one example.

If the use of the label "Aspie", if it is used to differentiate someone for the sake of clarity in a discussion, or as badge of honor, or in any way that DOESN'T transfer power, or ATTEMPT to transfer power, from one person to another person, then it is OK.

If on the other hand, it is used in a way that either overtly OR covertly attempting to transfer power from one person to another, then it is NOT ok.

This idea that Perna makes of it all being in how the recipient reacts to it is great for self esteem and reflection, but it completely ignores JUSTICE. If someone is trying to take power from someone by using it as a derogatory, by all means don't let it bother you! If it does, then they will get even more power from you than what they stole already!

But the mere fact of calling someone a name takes power from them in the mind of the perpetrator. Whether you think so or not. It is an evil on their part.

Don't give them any more power than they have already taken. And strive for justice.

If you are using the term in a non-power grabbing way, then it is fine. But just like the "N" word in rap music, the mere use of the word keeps it in circulation, and makes it available to those that would use it for power grabbing.

In my opinion, anyways.

I cannot control what anyone else thinks and someone else thinking they are more "powerful" (however that floats their boat) than I am does not mean that they are and, even if they are, I can only deal with my feeling that I am less powerful, what that means to me. I cannot know what another thinks; if they think they are more powerful or not and what that does for them, etc. It's too hard to figure out what I think and feel and what I want to do about it that I don't really have the time or energy to worry about what another person thinks and feels and might want to do about it. It's not really a two-person "game", I only have myself I can manipulate and no one else can take my place; I'm sealed into this body :-)

Yes, you are correct. However, it is unjust for someone to build their self-esteem by belittling others. And if I witness it happen, and the victim doesn't have the self-esteem made of steel that Perna has, I will cry foul.

I do not like blaming victims of injustice. Granted, when it comes to emotional abuse, we all are only victims of our own perception. Does that make emotional abuse a non-issue? Of course not.

…I just saw this whole thread.

I'm a little unsettled by it, and here's why:
the OP doesn't seem to reveal what "dog", if any they actually have in this fight.

That is, why do they care?
For that matter, if they do care, why is it their place to assume offense on anyone else's part regarding this issue?

Are aspies or individuals with aspergers unable to observe the world around them and then make judgments for themselves regarding those observations?
Not in my experience.

Why would any sentient, capable individual need a spokesperson thrust upon them?

Perhaps the OP has a close relative on the spectrum and that is the root of the offense they feel when they hear this particular word- though that doesn't completely explain the reaction, it might make a little bit of sense.

To be honest, I'm actually surprised the OP was able to assume offense on behalf of a demographic they are not a part of- and it seems they did so pretty easily.

As for me, I have variously been called "aspie" and "autie", though I most often [well, on the occasions that I actually happen to discuss it] refer to myself as an individual with High Functioning Autism [HFA] since that is the most precise and accurate description. Really none of those bother me. Regardless of what you call me, often it can be more about motivation and intention than anything else. Some individuals could call me by my proper name and I would consider it offensive because to offend is their standard MO, simply how they operate in the world.

As someone with an autism spectrum disorder/Asperger's syndrome myself,
I regularly use the term "Aspie" as a shorthand self-description.
As for the uses and abuses of the term by others...what-ev-er!

When people are trying to be hurtful I find they will usually say a**burgers. Though I have seen "aspergers" used in derogatory and mocking fashions.

This is how I feel too. Not specifically hurt though, more like annoyed if it happens. Aspergers is not my whole identity and I think some people (particularly professionals and school/work relations) have no idea how to see the person underneath once the label is applied. That's why I don't tell just anyone that aspergers is one of my many issues.
I am not aspergers, I am a person and aspergers is part of me.

Well, I just used it myself in another post. I'll reword it quickly, while I still can, so I don't hurt anybody.

OK, done.

I used it only for typing efficiency, because it was easier than spelling out Asperger's Syndrome. For the same reason, my husband who I was talking about in the other post will say "bum," not intending to be judgmental, but it isn't as many syllables as "homeless person," and that's all he really means. That's one thing about him: he often doesn't grasp the concept of connotations.

I don't think of "Aspie" itself as offensive, but I've seen people turn it around to "@$$ burger" and "@$$ pie" because they're deliberately mocking. I consider that very unkind and jerky of them, much the same as how I used to be called a "retard," when nobody knew I was on the spectrum but could tell there was something different about me.

I do wish the word "Asperger's" didn't suggest "@$$," for that very reason. But if I had a choice for what to call it, I'd pick "high-functioning autism," because that puts the emphasis on "high function."

There are actually specific distinctions between high functioning autism and asperger's, is the issue with that.

Well, there goes that, then.

Well since it's named after the man who first diagnosed it, we can only blame him and he's dead so I doubt he cares. I like the term Aspie, it's far better than some of the things other people have called me haha.