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#1
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I'm not sure what to say. All I know is that i hate being this way. I cry all day everyday. I don't want to do anything. I just want it to stop now! I'm tired and I want to give up. Nothing in this world is worth living like this! I should be dead from crying so much! I have meds, I have a Pdoc, nothing seems to work. I don't know what else to do. If it weren't the thought of my Mother being devastated I would end everything. She's the only reason. I don't want to leave her sad.
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#2
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I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. When I felt that terrible, I begged for a meds change with my provider. She refused week after week and I got worse and worse. Finally, I took myself off of the suspect medication and I've been feeling better. Went the opposite direction. Instead of sleeping all day and wanting to die, now I have energy all day and can't sit still. However, still trying to find that happy medium so I don't feel like I'm jumping out of my skin and can get back to writing and reading. Have next to no attention span when talking to people. Got a new medication today that I start tonight.
Anyway, all this to say, something in your meds is wrong and must be changed! Demand change. Don't give up hope. ![]()
__________________
Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it. -Christopher Hitchens |
#3
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Quote:
You are Bipolar you say! Not fun - me TOO! Rollercoasters are not my ride, But guess it was chosen for me. Everything to me seems to be a big deal. Do you see Pshyc for meds. Are you on depression, anxiety and mood stabilzer....all needed for Bipolars. Thank you for sharing.... we all need to share, we all learn from each other. ![]() |
#4
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I am really sorry you are feeling this way. I have been where you are and it sucks. The fear and worry of hurting my Mom is what prevented me from taking my life. And, it has been 4 yrs since I was in that deep dark hole. At the time, I felt with all my heart and soul that I would never get better. I obsessed with getting out. Now, I am back to the old me, the guy I remembered but could not find. But, what you need to understand is that this truly is only temporary. This too shall pass. I promise. You just have to keep fighting. A change in meds should be a first step. A psychologist you trust and feel comfortable is also extremely important. Please don't give up hope. Things WILL get better but it is not going to happen over night. It will take time and work on your part but it is worth it. That too, I promise. Take care of yourself, please.
Sincerely, Ken |
#5
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have you talked with your doctor about ECT?
__________________
![]() ![]() "I'm insecure, impatient, and a little selfish. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you cant handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe |
#6
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#7
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I do have a Pdoc that I see. I saw her yesterday and told her about everything. I feel so much better when I talk to someone about all this, I don't know, it just makes me feel so much better to ball my eyes out and talk. She added Seroquil for me to take, and is going to tweak my Lamictal and possibly change me from Lithobid to Lithium. Which I didn't know was a difference. She told me that I have to tell my family about what is going on. I have been keeping my problem in my home, so only me and my boyfriend have known about this huge down I have had for months. She now knows, and of course if very worried about me. See has know that I have had depression since 2001, but not about the new issues I'm having. Today I have had a good day. College started back today so my day has been very busy. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
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#8
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electroconvulsive therapy. last resort treatment for resistant depression/mania/psychoses. A quick zap to your brain under anesthesia that may cause some memory loss, but has proven to be highly effective.
__________________
![]() ![]() "I'm insecure, impatient, and a little selfish. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you cant handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe |
#9
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[quote=amaviena;1119384]electroconvulsive therapy. last resort treatment for resistant depression/mania/psychoses. A quick zap to your
I have not thought of that. I have a hard time remembering things right now, I don't need to lose more memory!! |
#10
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I think the same thing about ECT. But, if it could get rid of the horrible memories causing my PTSD...I'd be all for it. Just a thought.
__________________
Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it. -Christopher Hitchens |
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