[NuckingFutz]

Going through mania for about a week now...pdoc increased my mood stabilizer yesterday. I had been up 4 days, almost told my family off on facebook, talked a lot and jumped from subject to subject, i get super irratable, and i have poor impulse control. So how does mania feel on you?

[phoenix47baby]

just about the way you described it.....irritable, up and running, speech is rapid, low impulse control, etc., say things I don't mean to, flirt a lot.

[lonegael]

Speech runs crazy, I vibrate all over, my head feels full of static, I see things through the corners of my eyes, my head is very full of thoughts, I launch into crazy projects, spending goes up, but before I actually get into trouble, I go mixed, and then I don't do much than run around in circles until late at night crying. I could stay up all night but if I actually lie down, I can sleep. I get real impulsive, and have been know to pick fights with people far bigger than myself (Not too difficult to find candidates for that) I do physical work over my body's actual capacity to manage it.

[Anneinside]

I have hypomania, my thoughts jump from one thing to the next, can't keep track of what I'm thinking, high need to socialize.. even to the point of stopping strangers to strike up a conversation, get obsessed with one thing (buying shirts, reading a book on computers over and over...) and spend money. Lots of money. I start up new hobbies, many of which I find I don't enjoy or sometimes even like once the hypomania stops. Meanwhile I have bought everything (and multiples of things) needed for the hobby. I have SO much hobby stuff. Going to start selling it on eBay.

[NinjaSidekick]

Feeling the need to make social plans EVERY night, hyperactivity, feeling like everyone is my friend or just hasn't met me yet, going shopping (impulsive buying) wanting to meet and talk to everyone I encounter, flirting, pressure to keep conversation going at all times, starting tons of new projects and finishing few before I get bored and move into the "next big thing", sometimes going out and just running to burn all of the extra energy that I have, urge to be everywhere at once, grinning (alone) for no reason but that I feel so content with the world and all it has to offer, forgetting to pay bills or putting off other obligations...I think I have them all covered...almost like being on a low dose of MDMA

[perpetuallysad]

Anneinside, your description fits me so perfectly. I have a whole room filled to the brim with art supplies from my constant need to try new things (or continue old ones). What is it that makes us need to buy all these supplies and why do I constantly think of new things I need and then cannot think of anything else until I get these things I "need", then figure out new things I "need"?...the cycle is vicious and never stops for me. Well, it does stop when I get depressive, but picks right back up the minute the mania starts coming back. Just this morning I couldn't wait until my son and husband were gone so I could shower and go search for beads. I'm making beaded ornaments for Christmas and for some reason I don't think the 50,000,000 beads I already have are enough or the right kind. Maybe I shouldn't go, but even saying that and knowing logically I don't need anymore, I don't think I will be able to stop myself from going and searching for some.

The one thing I don't do that so many of us bipolars seem to do is want to socialize. I have gotten myself so anxious of people that I rarely, if ever, talk to someone besides my husband, son or sister. I've got the racing thoughts, lack of sleep, vibrating skin, inability to concentrate, forgetting what I was just thinking about obsessively for 10 minutes, need to do something-anything, compulsive organization and cleaning, increased panic attacks, forced speech & need to "re-do" things I've already done (especially anything with my art).

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by perpetuallysad

Anneinside, your description fits me so perfectly. I have a whole room filled to the brim with art supplies from my constant need to try new things (or continue old ones). What is it that makes us need to buy all these supplies and why do I constantly think of new things I need and then cannot think of anything else until I get these things I "need", then figure out new things I "need"?...the cycle is vicious and never stops for me. Well, it does stop when I get depressive, but picks right back up the minute the mania starts coming back. Just this morning I couldn't wait until my son and husband were gone so I could shower and go search for beads. I'm making beaded ornaments for Christmas and for some reason I don't think the 50,000,000 beads I already have are enough or the right kind. Maybe I shouldn't go, but even saying that and knowing logically I don't need anymore, I don't think I will be able to stop myself from going and searching for some.

The one thing I don't do that so many of us bipolars seem to do is want to socialize. I have gotten myself so anxious of people that I rarely, if ever, talk to someone besides my husband, son or sister. I've got the racing thoughts, lack of sleep, vibrating skin, inability to concentrate, forgetting what I was just thinking about obsessively for 10 minutes, need to do something-anything, compulsive organization and cleaning, increased panic attacks, forced speech & need to "re-do" things I've already done (especially anything with my art).

Yes.
I have learned to control my impulses somewhat because I just picture my husband getting mad at me for spending more on supplies I already have somewhere in the house. Other times it is hard, and I argue logically (or so I think) until he gives up and throws his hands inthe air.

Right now I am finding it hard not to go out and spend lots of $$ on clothes because I am sick of what I am wearing and feel a need for a makeover. I keep thinking that I want to go back to my "roots" and buy eccentric clothes that I actually like rather than what I bought when I wanted to fit in.

Hypomania here, but I'll echo a lot of the above. Generally increased sociability (but not so much if I'm dysphoric or too over the top with vibrating or anxiety). Talking a mile a minute, cracking jokes and making funny comments by the ton. The problem often is that people don't *get* the humor because the references can be obscure or widely divergent (but it all comes together so brilliantly in my mind! ). Lots of big projects, like hauling a bunch of big branches, peeling them and proceeding to build furniture. Except I have no skills or tools for such an endeavor. And took over the whole yard. Or winemaking. Or beading. Or quilting. Or cheesemaking. You get the picture. And drop it entirely just as quickly. And buying stuff? Stuff I don't need and/or in ridiculous quantities? (Um, 27 hand fans anyone? I only collect one thing, and it's not hand fans!) I really went nuts on Ebay before my dx. Now that I know, I try to rein it in. Which works pretty well, as there's nothing left to buy(!)

Or just plain ridiculous, like waking up one morning and saying, "Let's sell the house and move to <>!" A place 3000 miles away that we had never even visited(!)

And of course the basics, racing thoughts, (feels like dominoes in a blender), trouble concentrating, compulsive cleaning (Q-Tips for the louvre doors -- a neighbor walked in on this and he jokes about it to this day. Almost brought Q-Tips and dental tools to the work cleaning day just for a laugh because they all tease me so much about this). Phew! Let's start a new sentence! Um, posting a lot, and writing in great quanitiy and very densely (and parenthetically! Because there's just so darn much information that "needs" including!) Oh yeah, and gathering information on the interest du jour like a fiend.

I remember clearly a time when I had a total switch from one day to the next and met some new people, who were seen both nights. Boy, were they confused! A person that knows me a bit that was also there commented on it.

Hehe, lonegael, hear you on the picking fight regardless of common sense. I can really shoot my mouth off. And I don't care WHO you are!

And that's not even to mention the flip outs. (Seperate post for triggers...)

TRIGGER WARNING from here...( The flip outs... rage and SI) I put these in a seperate post because most of the answer wasn't.



Ok, back to the flip outs...
(Confession time for the really ugly bits....If I go off....Flailing, throwing things, screaming, throwing myself against walls, loud mean running commentary--often directed at myself, taking a tool I might have been using and pounding the **** out of it. Like a hammer, and being so out of control that I paid no regard to where my other hand was. Or people being rude to me that set me off so bad that I went home and threw my pizza down so hard all the cheese came off, then attacked the kitchen table with a pizza cutter, breaking the utensil and leaving big gashes in the table. You get the picture. Who said hypomania's so fun we don't want to give it up? I HATE when I do thing like this. And hate myself for it. It's truly frightening and I'm truly frightening. And most of the time I'm shy and quiet.)
Good news is that since I'm up to dose on meds, this hasn't happened. So far at least, and I hope it never does.

Yikes! Was just out among regularly-paced people which made me think of more... walking fast, driving faster, being toe-tappingly frustrated with how slow everyone is... it's like trying to move amongst sloths on quaaludes! Forget to use paragraphs (and have to go back in and put them in when I see what a wall of words it is!) Talk faster, think faster (sometimes jumbly, sometimes not, depends how wired), have been known to just jump up and down in place (was thinking this was just at home... but nope, come to think of it, I do it in public too!) Trying to do 10 million things all at the same time....

Going for multiple sensory input -- Like having music playing (and loudly) and thinking, "I should put some music on!"

Did I mention posting a lot?

And yes, I am. It was faking me out to start, but I have no doubt now. I've spent a good part of the last 3 days vibrating.
Will try to shut up now...

For me the question would be What AREN'T they.

Like I've drank 5 pots of coffee. On drugs. My vision gets fuzzy, sometimes see very small moleducles (that aren't there of course), buzzing in my ears, perspire, anxiety, crawling skin, or certain areas of skin feel like their on fire, clinch or tighten some part of my body without realizing it until it craps, figet, stutter, slur, shake, forget, sometimes body tics, thoughts run into each other or seem very blurred and spinning, confused, paranoid, irrational thinking, impulsive behavior, can't write or un readable writing, feel like I'm going to have a heart or asthma attack...

okay then the manic starts..............CRAZY

[NuckingFutz]

The 2 things that i could relate to most were the hobby and hoarding hobby stuff...cross stitch stuff. And my gallows humor and the rage. T wants to work on my anger issues next week...i know i will rage. Why just touching that rage...i have broken smashed so much glass it's insane. Totally poured my entire nail polish collection over the inside of a laptop until threw it on the floor and jumped on it until i got tired. And um that's only the beginning. I think i will show my t how i feel about my mom. T is new...i can tell...she's good alright, just needs to have more client time. She's going to see it.

Thanks NuckingFutz... the meltdown rages are the hardest thing for me to talk about. While I wouldn't wish them on anyone, it's good to know I'm not alone. Some are bigger than others, but ain't none of 'em pretty. To so utterly lose control like that, I'm just so horrified by myself. And I've had the hardest time figuring out what will set them off(!) I *think* I've noticed some correlation with times I get hypersensitive (tiny barely perceptible noises annoying the hell out of me, like that). It's like I'll hit this frustration and a white bolt of lightning hits my brain and I just start flailing -- throwing things, pounding things, usually beating the hell out of myself in the process while ranting or screaming.
Yes, lovely that.
Those are the moments when my usually preferred term of "mentally interesting" doesn't quite cover it. Not by a long shot.

It's horrible to experience or witness, but it's the shame that really stays with me. That and having to see the damaged table etc...and be reminded.

[lonegael]

Yes. Innerzone. With you completely. I do things in my rages that leave me cringing in shame for years afterwards. And for me there is always this tiny voice saying "Stop! What are you doing?? How DARE you" while I'm flipping out and it only makes me rage all the more. I think I could live with everything else, but the rages terrify me. They scare me to death.

Originally Posted by NuckingFutz

The 2 things that i could relate to most were the hobby and hoarding hobby stuff...cross stitch stuff. And my gallows humor and the rage. T wants to work on my anger issues next week...i know i will rage. Why just touching that rage...i have broken smashed so much glass it's insane. Totally poured my entire nail polish collection over the inside of a laptop until threw it on the floor and jumped on it until i got tired. And um that's only the beginning. I think i will show my t how i feel about my mom. T is new...i can tell...she's good alright, just needs to have more client time. She's going to see it.

For Real - Really Nail polish in computer -

[ilazria]

The first thing that clues me in is the "manic laugh." A family friend who is Bipolar 1 always had this weird laugh. It was kinda scary when I realized I was starting to laugh like that, too. I get more talkative, and speedier talking. I want to do things and change the world. I also get very tense, and snap easily at my kids or my husband. I lose my sense of short term time. Long term time is always distorted. My worst rages were when I was a teen, before I was ever diagnosed or medicated. I used to internalize them, tho. Parental discipline made me too afraid to ever lash out or cause any kind of damage to objects. I would rub myself raw with my hairbrush, or scald my feet in the hottest water I could, or crumple and shred paper. Once I threw some cups when my parents weren't home, but they were plastic, and right afterwards I ran and picked them up because I was afraid to have shown such bad behavior. I would stuff the rage down inside so tightly that I literally couldn't speak, could barely breathe, and felt real pain like I was going to explode.

[romanjames2004]

Haha you got to love mania.

I get manic really in the worst ways possible.

I spend lots of money when i shouldn't
I get paranoid and think everyone is out to get me
I get angry with the world and people and my fmaily and I become extremely rebellious
I get excited about the littlest things
I don't sleep for days
I feel like everyting is moving in slow motion
I start feeling narcissitic
I feel like Im ontop of the world and noone can bring me down
I feel about 40 pounds lighter
I get really promiscuous lol and BA
I have racing thoughts and I can't express full ideas. (In highschool I had to give a speech when I was manic...not my best)
I go iand hang out wiht my friends and dont com home for a few days.
I do drugs and drink alcohol.
I do stupid and spontanious things

its really bad.

[crystalrose]

feel like i need to talk alot, get lots of ideas and try to do all of them, get pre occupied, think i'm more important than others, i have sexual ideas and sometimes act them out, spend lots of money,

[Moose72]

Lately I've been spending lots of $, including getting a tattoo and a tongue piercing. That's all in the last month. Not like me. I also often feel irritated by the littlest things especially noise of music or chAirs moving etc in a public place- tapping, etc. I really aNy to tear that person to shreads. I have sex with random people and drink like a fish. Just to get drunk.

[BNLsMOM]

See the post: "Pretty cool thought." I think I am rather manic lately because these epiphanies don't usually come to me like this.

And just to check I took the mania quiz and scored 69.

[dogwood]

[quote=NuckingFutz;1201303]Going through mania for about a week now...pdoc increased my mood stabilizer yesterday. I had been up 4 days, almost told my family off on facebook, talked a lot and jumped from subject to subject, i get super irratable, and i have poor impulse control. So how does mania feel on you?[

Except for the insomnia, my manic episodes are similar, only I fall apart. My insides SCREAM, so I've been known to slam dishes on the floor to "release" the screaming within me. However, most of the se times I turn up the music and hold on tight to my husband.He's very supportive. If he's not around, I hold onto something like the living room chair or a pillow.All this time I am crying and my body gets tense.Nothing calms me, I just have to pray and wait it out.

[Navygrrl]

My episodes lately have been just huge, scary rages. I hate them because I feel like I'm watching myself yell and throw things, wishing I could stop but feeling like a helpless bystander. In the past, I've been overly flirty and tended to be very promiscuous. I'm also currently trying to pay down thousands in credit card bills racked up during an episode. I will get fixated on a particular author and have to read every single book they've ever written NOW, or a tv show or movie and know way more than anyone should know about it.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a ton of hobby stuff!

[perpetuallysad]

I found that while I wasn't really open to admitting this at first, I was exceptionally risque in my behavior before I had my son. Something about getting pregnant (unexpectedly and with a man I didn't even really like) changed the way my episodes go. Since then, things are way more mixed with me. I'll be frantically working on whatever random project, but feeling an inner turmoil that is almost unbearable. I do the author thing to, or I'll do it with a particular subject area. And I've found that while I am a generous person, things that I become fixated on are very hard for me to share.