so sad - trigger warning

((((meape)))) ((((((sanity seeker)))))

Bless our loved ones... they may try but no.... they really dont get it and it just frustrates us and leave us feeling alone and isolated.

Sanity seeker I so relate to how you feel when told "everyone has bad days"... and it also then hits me that no, they really dont get it.

The ones that give up on you, you are better off without... the ones that get angry, although not helpful to us, atleast it shows they care... but at the same time, no it doesnt help us at the time.

You are right it is no fun.... NOOO fun at all..... but hey, life is one big journey.... our journey is just that bit more complicated

I am concerned for you sanity seeker, you say that you are on a stready decline. *hugs* Please keep talking about this... dont go through it alone... I/we so understand.... you are so not alone... not alone at all

feeling depressed. Rapid cycling. . . . feel so tired I want to give up so so so tired. Just want it to stop. Could just curl up in bed right now but i am at work. All i want to do is hide. This morning on the way to work and last night i was bouncing off the walls. Blah.

((((allme)))) hope you start feeling better soon

Wow, you said it! This is how I feel!

Thanks allme. Sounds like you could you some quality sleep. Treat youself with extra kindness this weekends. It has been a trying time for you this past week especially. Hopefully you can give your body and your mind a good rest.

I appreciate your offer to listen. I may take you up on it one of these days. I had a really good day yesterday. Steady and 'normal' all day long. Felt great. Today I woke with a headache and nothing would take it away. I traveled to a community where I used to work for an open house. It was nice to see so many old friends again. It was like going home.

You are so right life is a journey and I remember reading once that we are only given that which we have the capacity to handle. Nice thought to feed the manic high self esteem. Nice thought to pull through the low times.

Be well.

You guys are so insightful. I learned years ago just to shut up with my hubby. But sometimes its so draining when he starts getting paranoid I want to shake him and I have told him some of those general comments. Sometimes I just don't get it. But listening to you guys helps me see him better. I wish he would get on this site but he calls it bs. Is it awful as much as I love him sometimes I tuely despise him? It makes me sick sometimes that I have to leave with the kids cause he's in one of those moods. (Just for a little bit to give him space not like pack and leave) Does anyone have a partner that can give me tips. I'm not giving up I can't I just don't like how he makes me feel. I hope you guys aren't offended by these comments. I know its not his fault he's this way I just am having a hard time coping.

Not offended at all ceje. In fact the opposite. I am impressed with your love and committment to your husband. I know how hard it is for you. While he is coping with his own suffering so are you. I get that. My partner did finally give up and leave but maybe others have partners who can share their experience with you.

I think for me the best support has always just been empathy. 'I am sorry you are having a bad day. Is there anything I can do to help right now?' For me there is just something about validation that is supportive. Helpful advice sometimes feels like more pressure to perform when it is hard enough already to just breath.

I can appreciate how it disrupts your life. I wish I had more wisdom to offer about that. I try not to cause disruption for people. I isolated into my own room alot leaving my son and his dad to do thier own thing. I think that wore on my partner and he got really tired of doing everything with out me and that is a big reason he left for good. Perhaps had we talked about it and tried to negotiate a balance we could have found a way to meet both of our needs. Who knows.

I think there is a fine line between accommodation and coddling so together you may need to define the difference. Over accommodation can feed the illness in my opinion but it is hard to know where the line is between giving him space and allowing him to hide.

I say try to keep the communications open and gently hold him to account for doing his part in the relationship as best he can. Hope I am not just adding to your confusion. You are a good woman to care so much. I hope you find some answers.

It would be good if your husband joined us here. Tell him we don't bite. lol.

Ceje you are good person for trying to learn how to deal with this. Sometimes it is hard for even us to know where we end and the "chemical imbalance" begins. You are doing more than a lot of people.

I am so sick of it sick to the very soul of it. I am done trying to be understood like it or lump it but dont go on about it. Love me or leave me dont hold it against me. GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE. Just let me be and stop analysing me. YOU JUST DONT GET IT DO I WASNT BUILT FOR RELATIONSIPS PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME FOR SOMEONE WHO IS BETTER FOR YOU. I hate all there expectations and being told what I should or should not be doing. I am seriously thinking of leaving and living by myself. I dont get ppl and they sure as hell dont get me. Trying to fit in is too draining and I am sick sick sick of it. For once why dont you try and fit in with me? i am done with your world and all the sheep and lemmings in it. I am sick of your world and dont use my unusual ways to make you feel superior you ars*. Stop looking down on me and stop expecting from me. *scream*

sometimes I feel as though I really understand whats oing on in my head but then others I just dont know who the hell I really am. I change so much from day to day, week to week or month to month that I no longer know who I really am. ALL I KNOW IS PPL SUCK. Sick of all this bs and the only place I feel understood and feel there is no BS is here in this forum with others that understand. Maybe I should just have BP friends in real life too?

I feel so tearful right now. and so confused..... I HATE IT HATE ME HATE LIFE.

allme, I am sorry that you are having a hard time. I am here for you.

thanks :-) feeling somewhat "normal" :-) will be back tomorrow to catch up with you guys :-) and hopefully give back some support. Pretty hard to try and give support when in the pits. Back later hugs to all :-)