[NuckingFutz]

Help! The VA finally got their shipment in too late. I am rapid cycling like crazy. I actually planned a crime to cover my phone bill. I actually cased houses. I ended up picking flowers instead. I am over stimulated by noise and light. I raged at my neighbor. I am out of control. Calling sis to give her a heads up. Keeping the crisis number near by but I am needing to hear from you all. Just say anything please. I feel so lost scared. Like people say stuff to me to make them feel better because they thinked they helped. Please respond. I COULDN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU. NUCKING

[TinaL]

Hello,
I have felt this way at times. I hate the uncontrollable stuff that happens. I sometimes just try to do things to help ease it. Doesn't always work. Writing here and staying connected is a great idea. Find someone on Yahoo who wants to chat. I do that too.
Your not alone.

[lynn P.]

((NuckingFutz)) - do you think you need to go to the hospital? Can your sister come stay with you? Do you have a sleeping pill you could take? I'm grasping at straws because I don't know what you feel like. My brother had manic depression so I remember what he went through.

How about turning the lights down low and listen to some soothing music. Take some slow deep breaths. Now that you have the Lithium - will you feel better tomorrow or do you have to wait for your mood to level out? Please know we care about you. I pray you'll be safe and sending you calming vibes.

[Amandas256]

Hang in there Nuckin! Know that you are loved and understood here! Remember, it's bad now but, it will get better! Hang on to that thought! Sending my thoughts and much love your way!

[lynn P.]

I know you have a sense of humor, so here a manic looking buddy to keep you company lol.

[notz]

Hellooooooooooo?

Is Ms. Notz here?

Where's that swishy, swinging swishing tail?

C'mon back! Check in with us. We care, ya know...

[Moreta]

NukingFutz are you ok?? Have you been able to calm down any? Please, if you don't feel safe by yourself call some one. Try not to isolate yourself. It can make it worse. Trust me, I know. Try some grounding techniques, I know when I'm bat sh** crazy, I do things that I don't want to and end up regretting them in the end, when I finally snap out of it.

Please let us know if you're ok.

[lostandscared54]

Nucking, I know how you feel to be lost and scared, hence the name. I am more than willing to chat with you. You can make it. Just try to stay calm.

[Lauru]

((NuckingFutz)) Sending you well wishes and good juju energy. Perhaps you should call a crisis number or got to the hospital? I know what those highs and lows can do to you. I have the same problem. Been there. Please check in and let us know you're ok.

[NuckingFutz]

I am here! I am so glad you are all here too. Too much stress but got lithium today. Lynn: lithium has to build up but it seems to build up pretty quick. Called the crisis line who told me if it gets bad again call 911. I will if I need that. The other option is to go to VA Clinic then off to VA hospital if need be on Monday. The crisis hotline was very supportive, calming and informative. I took 1 mg of klonopin which I take as needed because it works best for me that way. I must have been having an anxiety attack as well because it hit me like a ton of bricks. Self care: hot relaxing bath, lite supper of fruit and yogurt (say, does that cancel the the caloric content of the the danish I am chowing down on?) I experienced over stimulation so 1 blue bulb lamp and even Enya is too stimulating for me. My 2 sisters were a big help. Nothing beats a great support network except for maybe really incredible love making! I hereby declair that I am not killing this thread...keep it coming my friends! LOVE, NUCKING

[WendyAussie]

You're doing so may good and productive things to look after yourself. Having had 4 psych ward stays myself, I think you're on the right track in being ready to take that path if necessary.

[NuckingFutz]

Taking it hour by hour. The meds are kicking finally! Rest comes to greet me finally! Will check in when Cymbalta walks all over me to be fed. She has definately earned her title as theracat. Have some nice fish for the girls in the morning. Bagel for me. nity nite.

[lynn P.]

I hope you're feeling better today NF.

[allme]

Hey... how are you doing today? Ok I hope *hugs*

[Amandas256]

Hey Nucking! I hope you are doing wonderful today! Sending lots of love!

[NuckingFutz]

Just woke up! Doing better. Slept really good. Not manic at the moment. Going to keep the stress level down. Took lithium last night and hopefully it will be back at theraputic levels within a few days or a week.

[thinker22]

I'm so glad to hear that you're doing better. When any one of us is hurting or going through something serious, we all wish we could be there for that one. Why? Because we've all been there. Maybe not exactly, but similar enough what with having bipolar, depression, anxiety, and mania...and mixed episodes--the worst. Definitely keep in touch and stay safe. Do whatever you need to, to keep getting better. I'm pulling for you. In the midst of my anxiety, I know it could always be worse and I'm thankful to have people like you and others on PC to talk me down from a crisis. Sending you big and a giant

[Formerlybrilliant]

I'm very sorry to hear of your struggle and am hoping that your lithium will work soon. I thought your change of plans from crime to picking flowers was brilliant. I think this was an excellent coping technique and an obvious wise decision. I'm kind of going through a bit of rapid cycling myself but I'm going to remember your decision to strive to find a better alternative to the bad alternatives that are popping in my mind and go with the good. I wish you well.

Glad you turned the corner, NF.

[NuckingFutz]

I hope I have turned the corner. I have financial stress right now but have some options to look into. Plus I have had the neighbor issue that I have made some boundaries that WILL NOT BE CROSSED. I have my pdoc appointment this. I want to go to group therapy and my pdoc will encourage it- he has offered when I get manic or depressed. I also have a friend staying until I stabilize or go to hospital. I am also going to start meditating as well. You know, without you all and my walks, I honestly think I would be planning to check into the VA hospital tomorrow. That option would be available.

[sugahorse1]

Glad you're getting there! Gee, I hate weekends when i don't really come online; and then I know one of our friends is battling like this - not even through a fault of their own!
You've been incredibly strong my friend. And kudos to you fro getting your support network as organised as you are!

[owllover99]

Something told me to get on the computer Saturday night but I didn't. I'm glad you're better NF. If you need to go inpatient, it's good you have the option. Hang in there and don't let your finances trouble you so much (easier said than done). We're here for you.

[NuckingFutz]

Thank you all so much. To me, this thread is like running that last five hundred yards of a marathon and I hear the crowd cheering me on. Maybe not everyone was suppose to cheer at the same time! Still a bit manic. So far today I cleaned the oven, bug bombed the apartment (no more bugs so far. Did the dishes, read a short story, got permission foq my friend to stay the week or until my lithium level registers at 1 in my blood levels. Tonight after it cools off, I am going for my walk and to get some trailing ivy for my bookshelf. My neighbor is leaving me alone since I threatened him with police. NF

[sugahorse1]

Hey there - I'm glad you are doing a whole lot better - you know it can only get better from here!
HUGS

[NuckingFutz]

Oh yeah? There is a new post from me in the Relationships forum. Thought and old friend around would help. My friend is here but aparently he is worse off than I am. Out he goes in the morning. Not only can he not help me, he can make it worse! HaVe a look see at my new thread in that forum. I am so fuming mad!