Just feeling...overwhelmed. I've spent over 2 months in this hospital and basically all I've learned is that I have Bipolar 1 Disorder, and that I can't have SSRI anti-depressants because they make me manic.

I'm just starting on Cymbalta, which is an SSNRI (I think) and I'm feeling frustrated. There are many different families of anti-depressants, with many anti-depressants in each family. PLUS, ECT is an option. So it could take years before I find what's right for me!

I've never felt balanced. Right now I'm frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed and anxious at once. The littlest things get to me and I know if I left the hospital I'd just be back soon enough. I don't feel the desire to live sometimes, and when I do I can't do the simplest things without getting overwhelmed, like mailing in applications or making a call.

I confided in my pdoc today that I felt like the nurses were getting sick of seeing me, since I've been here for so long...but he said that wasn't true, they know I'm sick and need to get better, and he said they weren't going to give up on me. This was good to hear. I'm just getting impatient, I suppose.

How did you guys deal with waiting to find the right treatment for you?

[onlymedid]

That is a lot to deal with and I can understand the frustration, depression, anxiety and overwhelming feelings.
For me, every treatment was new and different and scared the crap-o-la out of me. I never knew how I would feel, if it would work, if I would have a bad reaction, etc. I would find something that worked for a while and then it would stop working. There goes more frustration, anxiety, fear, etc. I am trying to work with a new treatment now with a new pdoc and for the first time I feel like it might work. He is the best Bipolar pdoc in the area and has helped so many people I know that I have to have faith it will work.
I hate to say it, but it's a wait and see game. BUT, while you are waiting, try to do what you can for yourself to keep occupied. If you sit and think too much, you might just make it harder for yourself.
I hope you find something that works for you very soon because you deserve it!

[Amandas256]

It is really frusturating trying to find the right meds to make you feel "normal". It is worth it in the end when the meds finally make you feel better. You just have to keep your head up and keep going. I agree that you need to find something to do to keep your mind occupied. Try not to dwell on everything so much. I know that it's really hard to do that sometimes but, just try to stay positive. The nurses are not tired of you either. That is what they are there for. I have met some really nice nurses during my stays in the hospital. You are a great person. Just keep your head up. My thoughts are with you and if you need to talk I'm here. I get on here quite a few times during the day so I'll watch for your postings or you can pm me also. Sending lots of hugs and love your way!

[BlackPup]

Getting meds right is horrible. Everytime I get frustrated and think that life will never be better, my doc reminds me of that we will be able to find meds that give me a good life. But I sympathise with your frustration and suffering.
I understand the feeling of the nurses getting sick of you, at first when you get sick everyone is happy to help, but when it goes on and on, I worry about being a burden and of them not wanting to hear the same problems over and over...
How did I deal with it - sometimes not very well, (poor med complience!!!). In the end it is just perserverence. One other thing that really helped me was therapy, working out how what I thought and how I responded to situations was affecting my mood and learning how to change that. It means the meds have less work to do coz there is less mood to balance
Thinking of you, we are all here for you.

[Anneinside]

If you didn't need to be hospitalized, they would release you. With insurance the way it is now you are more likely to be discharged when you still need to be in than kept when you don't need it. The nurses understand the need for long stays and probably aren't getting tired of having you there.

Melissa, I have tried about 3O different medications over the last decades. I got to feeling like a guinea pig for a medical experiment. I have been taking the one that seemed to help for close to twenty years. My psychiatrist tells me I may as well stop taking it since my body has built up a tolerance.

I know this is not what you want to hear. Even so, state of the art psychology is still a lot of trial and error.

I wish you the best.

[sugahorse1]

sorry you feel like this OhseeDee - I'm very new to this, but even so my patienc eis running thin. My new meds I thought were wonder drugs. But I think they just spun me into mania - well, all of a sudden I wasn't the quiet girl in the corner; I was a joker, witty, driven, loud, bouncy; people noticed me.
Now I think I'm coming crashing down after only 4 days and I'm quite and reserved. I feel like things around me are carrying on, but I'm not. I feel as if I'm just on auto-pilot.
But we have to keep holding onto that procarious silken thread and trust that a solution for us is out there.
DOn;t feel guilty for being in hospital - they won't keep longer than needed. And at least this way you can tackle this beast with vigour!
HUGS!