[mommasuesue]

I dont drive and I dont do anything I rarely get out of the house unless someone takes me so Im a burden on my family and especially my friends I know sometime i dont hear from them and thats when i know they are tired of me asking them to do things for me.
i have bipolar and just starting taking lamotrigine about a month ago and i do feel like its helping me get up and shower but sometimes im not in the moods to see people and i do get tired of my friends coming and sometimes even if i dont ask for something they come over and check on me and do stuff for themselves like have their ups packages sent to my place and come to do laundry and stuff like that.
I guess its a way I can pay them back for doing things for me but i get mad and depressed and i get my feelings hurt alot and I feel all mixed up.
Does anyone else have feelings like this ? I dont read to much about what good I am to people when Im so helpless around here on this forum but thats how i feel

[sugahorse1]

hey there Momma
I am "fortunate" enough to be able to work - barely.
I feel like a burden on friends when I ask them for encouragement. When I complain about how I cannot cope, how I've had enough.
All my friends seem to hear from me is moaning. It causes me guilt too. I wish I wasn't this way.
Don't be hard on yourself - you have a disability and need to take care of yourself. In whatever way.
Those friends that stick around and look after you - they are VERY special!

[owllover99]

You're not a burden. You don't realize what a help you are to them. Oh, they may act like you're a pain, but where do they go when they need their clothes washed? And who wants dirty clothes? And free not at a laundromat (which is getting expensive). And I know how much of a pain it is to work and try and get a package from ups. No, you're a real help. And you're a real help here, too. You help people here. We a bipolar, so we are gonna have our ups and downs. Sometimes you just gotta step back and see the whole picture. Hang in there. Hugs, Owl.

Originally Posted by mommasuesue

,... friends coming and sometimes even if i dont ask for something they come over and check on me and do stuff for themselves like have their ups packages sent to my place and come to do laundry and stuff like that....

OMG, I dream of such a thing! You are lucky indeed to have such caring friends. I'm absolutely positive they see the positive in their relationships with you. Positive. Can I say again... positive! There is cooperation and give and take-- that's what friendship is all about! And don't worry too much (I know, easier said than done) about when you don't hear back from them. There are many reasons that happens, and even though BP often makes it hard for us to not take it personally, it's good to remind ourselves that it's very likely not that.
And hear hear to owllover99 and sugahorses comments. Good points.
mommasuesue!

[mommasuesue]

wow thank you guys for the encouragement sometimes i dont think my issues warrent posting them here on this forum but I just dont express myself well so i feel like what I say is nothing compared to others .
I do have alot of drama in my life usually caused from the my older kids or friends but that makes me go crazy or and I feel like im gonna snap on somebody and other times im ok even kind of happy but its short lived when something happens and triggers me into being depressed again !
my exhusbands birthday is on the 22nd of this month and since he ditched me here in this state from my home state Its a huge trigger for me and ive been waiting for it to hit me again .
Does anyone feel the moods coming on? even a day or two before because i do

[mommasuesue]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

OMG, I dream of such a thing! You are lucky indeed to have such caring friends. I'm absolutely positive they see the positive in their relationships with you. Positive. Can I say again... positive! There is cooperation and give and take-- that's what friendship is all about! And don't worry too much (I know, easier said than done) about when you don't hear back from them. There are many reasons that happens, and even though BP often makes it hard for us to not take it personally, it's good to remind ourselves that it's very likely not that.
And hear hear to owllover99 and sugahorses comments. Good points.
mommasuesue!

I didnt know that us that have bpd take things very personal!!! and ofcourse yes i worry alot and someone can say something as simple as "can we watch channel 2news instead of channel 7 " I almost fall apart i feel like im not good enogh then i get irrated to point where im about to yell and explode at that person for no real reason. but it builds up like i can feel the mood changing in me it can take a few days but I can feel it ! is that sound weird to you ?

[Shakti]

You are not a burden. if you had a friend with no legs who needed help to shop etc., would you allow that person to feel like a burden? Would you feel that they were a burden?

Sometimes you may not hear from them for reasons entirely other than anything having to do with you. It sounds like the inappropriate guilt associated with depression is taking jabs at you....not to mention that it can be hard on our pride (even if it shouldn't be) to let others help us. Everyone needs help sometimes and it sounds like the people in your life truly care. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe have a gentle and honest conversation about this with them. Make sure there is open communication. It's better than worrying, right? Worry leads to guilt which leads to depression which leads to guilt which leads to low self-esteem and feeling of worthlessness which leads to.....you get my point. Have some faith in the love and deep caring of those around you. They seem toshow it often enough, so try to trust it...I know that can be hard, but maybe if you can work on trying to feel you deserve the same compassion and friendship and love you would show to your friends and loved ones in similar situations, you can look at it with fresh eyes.

Your issues warrant posting here every single bit as much as anyone else's. Everyone communicates differently, but we all listen, we all get it, we all care, and above all else, we want you to feel free and welcome to post.

[johndsgirl]

YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN! Your family loves you, even with mental illness. There is one constant in this life, that is "family sticks together."

I sometimes feel like a burden with my bf, my family lives 1100 miles away. There is a telephone, but sometimes you need more. When I feel that way, I pick myself up and "just do it!" When I was in IBH this last time, I had a great mental health tech who did groups and didn't mince words. He said, "Words are words, nothing more." I'm trying to live my life by this now, and it seems to be helping.

You need to work on YOU now. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. Who gives a darn anyway. They don't live YOUR life. Try to be positive and affirm yourself for the things you are able to get up and do. Boost your own self esteem and when you do get out of the house, make the most of it.

REMEMBER, WORDS ARE WORDS. NOTHING MORE. YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN AND YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE AND AFFECTION, ESPECIALLY FROM YOURSELF.

Good luck and keep your chin up.