How I Feel Today. . . Open to all.

How I feel today???
I would feel so much better if the world went mute, blind and deaf all at the same time, so I can finally get a moment of true silence and peace in my life. I know it sounds harsh, perhaps cruel, but it's how I feel, and every feeling is legitimate. I got my demons, but nothing compared to the ones I pass by everyday while walking the streets, the so called "human race". What a joke!!!

got to agree makes me nauseous some days

Hope you all keeping on well. I will be busy with work so will be away for a bit. Wishing everyone with struggles the strength to endure, for those doing well to enjoy the happy times

Got alot due at work this week and a bit stressed about it. Also have pdoc appt coz still a bit uneven.

haha, sundog! Everyone's probably scratching their heads by now! No frogs, but I did get a good soak in. Motivation is much better today! Kind of feel like I'm doubling up on postings now..if no one is adverse to the idea, maybe we can post our "How I feel today" on our very own, super-dandy, awesomest forum! Let me know what you think.. hmmm..spoke too soon about the frogs - hearing one croaking now...

Lucianus: sorry you are feeling so bad, but glad you found us. No one here would question the legitimacy of your feelings; we've all been there. We try hard to have unconditional acceptance for everyone. I hope you find the peace you need, and I hope you will look for support here.

flowerlily I can understand the difficulties you face. This illness can be relentless. Hoping things get better for you soon.

thinker good luck on getting all your pictures taken. I don't have a clue what most of the different shoots mean. Good luck on your quiz Monday. Hoping everything keeps going good for you in school and life as well.

sundog Sorry you are feeling down and the anxiety is so intense on you. Don't guilt yourself so much, you do the best you can do. Sending good vibes your way and hope you can get the best of the anxiety.

Innerzone good to hear you shift went smooth. Sorry you had a rough sleep. I can understand you worrying about your son. Life is so hard anymore even for someone who is not suffering from an illness. I can tell you love him very much. Sorry things are the way they are.

Lucianus Sending peaceful vibes your way.

Blackpup I hope your week goes well. Good lluck at your pdoc appt.

PT52 glad you are feeling more motivated today. I'm lost about where you are wanting to post the "how I feel today". Are you talking about the BP social society? Sorry, I get a little confused at times.

Feeling restless today. Want to out doing something instead of being stuck in this house. The weather is so nice out today and I'm really going stir crazy. Ran out to Wal*Mart to pick up a few things and just didn't want to go home. There just really ain't anything to go do around here unless you got money or want to drive a over an hour away. Even then there is not a whole lot to do. Really like coming here and catching up on how everyone is doing. Big hugs to all my cyber friends.

Hugs to ((((Innerzone))))

Good luck with your busy work week and at your pdoc's appointment (((((Blackpup))))))

(((((PT))))) Really glad you've had a great day!! Yay! I don't mind where we post this as long as it's somewhere! It's such a great way to check in - with ourselves and with others!

Hi ((((Lucianus)))) Welcome! I really hope it helps to spend some time here. Wishing you all the very best.

((((((((((vj))))))))))))))) Sorry you've been feeling restless today. Glad you got out for a bit. And even more glad that you're here! Hope you have a good week!

I was doing a lot better today but I'm not feeling so hot now. We invited some friends over for supper and I was busy for part of the day cleaning the house and straightening up. It felt good to be productive and also to be planning something sociable, since I haven't been socializing much at all lately.

I went for a run too and it went ok. I was feeling pretty good. But now that our friends have gone home I feel drained and overdone and sick and I've got a headache and I feel like I've just done something really tiring and stressful. And feeling this way physically is making me anxious. How can I feel so drained after socializing for just a few hours?!?! What is wrong with me????? I just don't understand. I don't even think it is anxiety. Or at least, not just anxiety. It really makes me think that there is something physically wrong with me. It's just not normal to start feeling ill after spending a few hours with friends. This is why it's so hard for me to do anything. Because doing anything outside of my regular routine makes me feel ill. Even my regular routine makes me feel ill some days. Why do I feel ill all the time??? Can this really "just" be anxiety??

Sorry for the rant!!! Just disappointed because today was otherwise a good day and I felt pretty much like a "normal" person again. But now I'm right back to feeling ill and anxious.

vj - we've been using the "I'll be first" thread on the social society forum..guess we could start one that actually says "How I Feel Today" !

Feeling discouraged today. I took a test at school and could only do the multiple choice questions...couldn't answer anything else. Thankfully, my teacher said he won't count the test for me. However, I'm discouraged because I feel like I'm not good enough. I studied pretty hard, and still couldn't do it!

You ARE good enough...maybe you're just one of those who learns differently - I have a really hard time memorizing things, so multiple choice is hard for me. I've always done well with essay questions because I can put the information in context. Algebra was a nightmare because it's all rules that have to be put together like a jigsaw puzzle.

Hang in there, positive vibes coming your way - special ones that zap those synapses into high gear!

sundog Sorry you are feeling ill and anxious. I really wish I could tell you what is going on with you. I know anxiety can cause physical ailments, but I don't know if that is all that is wrong with you. I'm sorry something so nice turns out to send you into so much distress.

PT52 thanks for clarifying for me. I hadn't noticed any threads on the BP Social Society but I will check it out better.

Melissa sorry you are feeling discouraged today. Don't be to hard on yourself. You are good enough, just had a bad day. I have faith you can do it.

I'm just hanging in there today. Really stressing about our financial situation. Wondering what is going to happen to us. I hate this feeling of uncertainty. It has go my anxiety raging and I just feel like I'm going to explode. Not only that it is really starting to depress me. So I'm not really up to myself. Tried climbing back in bed, but just couldn't lay still. I really don't know what to do. I just want to scream and cry at the same time. I really need something to relieve this worry, but I can't get it out of my mind. I really need some peace in my life right now.

(((((((((Melissa)))))))) Really sorry the test was hard. But that doesn't mean you aren't good enough. A lot of people do badly on tests even when they know the stuff. There's just something about tests that people have a hard time with sometimes. I'm glad the teacher won't be counting this test and I'm sending you lots of luck for the next one.

(((((((((((vj)))))))))))))) Sorry you are stressing about finances and your anxiety is high. That feeling you describe of wanting to go back to bed but then, when you're in bed, you can't lay still.....I HATE that!!!!! I get that a lot and it drives me nuts!!! I'm sorry you're experiencing that. Are you able to go for a walk? I find getting outside and walking is helpful when I have all that nervous/anxious energy. I am sending you tons of peaceful vibes

Today is going ok so far for me (it's still early here though!!). I didn't sleep very well and I was really tired when I had to get up, but now I'm at work I'm busy and distracted and that is helping.

Wishing everyone a good day!

sundog glad your day is going ok so far. Thanks for the idea about going out for a walk, I actually thought about it earlier today. I just struggle with self motivation. I'll think of something I want to do and my brain comes up with all kinds of reasons not to do it. Daily tasks are a struggle for me. If it doesn't fall into the you have no choice but to do it, nine times out of ten it won't get done.

Ooooh, motivation. Hear ya, vj! It drives me right up a wall. I get it with the don't-really-want-to-do stuff, but with the fun stuff? What's up with that?!

I'm a pretty firm believer in the pick one teeny tiny thing -- wash a spoon, pick a couple of flowers and stick them in a vase, put one thing where it actually belongs... like that. If anything will get me going, that is it.

Today however... I actually tackled a pretty significant thing (and hoping it will lead to more) It's been a super-rarity lately ('cept that one and half hypo days). Dyeing a coat for a Halloween costume. I always forget just how damn much rinsing it takes, lol! But it is done but for the drying. It's a pretty ambitious costume, but I know I could use a serious confidence boost. (Besides, there's a deadline. That does help.. ).The one thing I almost never doubt is a really significant ability to take a pile of crap and turn it into something fabulous. Everything else can go to hell, but that one I hang on to. Hard. I might not actually be able to manage it, but it's in mind. Ok, here's a funny. I dug out my very first therapy journal last night (thinking I could find a list of depression's first hints -- I know, like I don't know them, right?!) and came across this: Things I Like to Do. #3? Drink coffee. Lol.

Totally stressed out. Between work and classes and appointments, I don't know how I'm going to find time to get my paper done tomorrow. Can't do it tonight because I'm too stressed and tired. HELP!! Okay, just need a hug or two.

thinker: ...just get started on a little bit... you can do it

Taking a well earned brake from work after my computer crashed!!!!!

Here are some hugs for you!! ((((((((((((((((thinker))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks guys. I finished my paper. I'm out of my nightly routine, but I'm so glad I'm done with that. I mainly just quoted a bunch of sources and then wrote in transitions so it seemed like a paper. It was the best I could do. Not my greatest work, but at least I'll have something to hand in tomorrow. I'm so tired and still all wound up from my crazy day. Tomorrow should be less crazy. to all.

Well done for getting your paper done!! (((((thinker)))) Really hope you can start to unwind a bit now and glad to hear tomorrow won't be so stressful!

thinker! It's great to have something to hand in!

Today... well, started out quite anxious (a lot lately...) and rather down. Today was the first full shift since the day (not even day) of total stress. Didn't know what to expect. It went very smoothly though. (Yea!) Though at the end of the shift, I found out that that site was ending and I don't know what lies ahead, job-wise.

No matter! Today I received the house disbursement... the very last bit of the divorce. It's just so nice to have it all wrapped up. Went and "splurged" on a $9 bottle of wine (hasten to add... did not finish, lol!) It's just so nice to have absolutely nothing hanging over my head. At last. I don't know what the job thing is right now, and actually don't care(!) (hate job hunting, but I think this one will go on in one form or another). Soooo, now off to "attack" BF! LOL! Teeheehee! Mwahahaha!

Will catch up tomorrow!

Absolutely knackered. I've been sober (i.e. no wine) for almost a week and off the bad meds (Olanzapine) for about 10 days and I'm getting little or no sleep. Fortunately, work is stress-free at the moment so things are not that bad, so I'm not complaining. Let's face it, I could be down a mine in Chile.

I am in a good mood today. Last evening I reached my weight loss goal of 84 pounds. It has been an 18 month journey since I joined Slimming World. The regular group attendance has been good for my mental health apart from the obvious benefits. I also feel better physically than I have in some years.

I woke a bit early this morning but I have had a good today.

thinker congrats on getting your paper done. You have really got it going on. I am so glad you can keep up with everything even if it's not your best work.

Innerzone sorry you day started out anxious, but I'm glad it got better. Congrats on getting the divorce all wrapped up and done with. Enjoy your wine.

BayTheMoon congrats on being sober and coming off the bad meds. Glad things are going pretty well for you.

Clive yeah for the good mood!!! Hope it sticks with you.

Today I'm feeling down. To much worry going on in my head. Just can't shake this feeling of impending doom. Oh well, life goes on.

Nice one Clive. 84 pounds is no mean feat. Lot of work required.
Well played that man.

Well done on the weight loss, Clive! That's GREAT!

And well done on getting off the wine and bad meds, BayTheMoon!!

Oh vj! I hate that feeling! Took awhile to actually put a name to it, but that's exactly it. Hope it lifts for you.

Well, first thing this morning, I was feeling regretful. Waking up way too early to anxiety and knowing full well it's because of indulging. Not a bunch, but it happens regardless. (This happens too often and it aggravates me to not seem able to remember it when I really should be remembering it -- ie. before! All the proof is there in the mood charts.) Also in the way of being regretful that I'd written that and coming out to the computer only to realize it was too late to edit... (Still am oh-so-glad I didn't pick up a second bottle, which I almost did. )

SO! Major major kudos to you BaytheMoon! Seriously, because this is probably my primary goal right now and, well, let's just say it's not going as well as I'd like... Is it ok if I use your accomplishment for inspiration?

(Btw I love the expression knackered! Not the feeling, lol! Just the expression!)

Today... pretty good. Had the day off, but learned of more work (much closer and less dangerous than the one I'll be on twice a week, so yea!). Did some errands, BF has the day off too and I'll be working again on the Halloween costume for him... well, you know, soon as I get off the computer, lol! Sooo, geniunely relaxing, which I'd love to share with anyone here who could use some...

(Only little twinge of...disappointment I guess it is...someone I saw through most of this past year of very rough times for her --mostly via long, late night, whatever-the-hour, I-will-be-there phone calls (we're 2,000 miles apart), is visiting just 4 hours from here. And didn't even tell me, though I'd extended an open invitation months ago *and* she had said she wanted to visit here during this very timeframe... Damn that Facebook! Basically refusing to think about it and remember that since it basically has been a one way friendship, it shouldn't be a big surprise. Oh well.)

Thanks for all the congrats about my weight loss. I really feel proud of myself.

Today I have had a long lie in my bed after yesterday's early waking. I didn't get my breakfast until about 11.30 am. That is very unusual for me. I think I needed to recharge my batteries.