How I Feel Today. . . Open to all.

thank you ,at least i am not alone and i have good freinds

that's good to hear

I often feel like this with friends, but it doesn't work. Our friends wouldn't want us to take on their pain they just want our support. There is a difference, but I blur that line often! I think it comes with being highly sensitive; we can feel others pain and not only can that be uncomfortable, but it's natural to want to fix it. Please take time for yourself and do something nice for yourself even if it's just going for coffee with a friend.

Reine that is absolutely brutal!

Thanks Dragonfly, I am unfortunately not done dog sitting and had another 4 am wake up call, but I'm counting down the days until Wednesday! I had a great time with my horse I brushed him so much my arm started to hurt, but he enjoyed it!

Feeling depressed and like things just aren't real. Does anyone else ever feel this? I feel like I am not real and my body is not my own. I'm scared, d*** scared.

Slightly hypomanic.
Busy weekend
But in a good frame of mind.
Have been a bit irritable the last few days, so I'm hoping it's not a sign of an impeding crash. I did drink quite a bit this weekend (It is the weekend after all!!) but hasn't seemed to affect me
I realised this weekend that I do play an important role in my constant depression - I have a way of thinking that seems to find the negative in anything, and I'm always looking for someone to pick a fight with... Oh well, something to work on.

Hope you guys have a great one, and those of you feeling a bit down - stay positive and busy and healthy, and know it will pass!!
Hugs to all!

I am tired and I cannot wait until Wednesday comes, so I can go back home. I have been woken up every single early am by the dogs and today I feel like it's catching up to me! Feeling a tad *****y! Anyways I am not going to waste my day off and I'm going to go to the gym and to the stables and hopefully I'll feel better.

I'm okayish,just recovering from a depressive psychotic episode and I think hypomania's on the horizon (my appetite is back with a vengeance, my eyes are suddenly very sensitive to light, and I'm sure, SURE if I heard a loud noise I'd go crazy right about now). My hypomanias are usually enjoyable,so I hope my prediction is accurate!

Kind of somewhere in between. I have my one day of work per week today and am afraid that I will mess up or somehow have a breakdown because of the effects of Strattera on me. My brain feels a little fuzzy, but I think I have enough energy to do the work if I can only focus. The first 2 days I was on this I wished for death or the hospital. Now I just sleep a lot and don't feel interested in doing anything. I have to force myself to come onto the site and read and post. That's the extent of my daily productivity before I want to climb back under the covers. I called the p-doc and hopefully she will prescribe a true anti-depressant, not ADHD meds. Hope I can afford them or that she has samples. My mood is not that bad considering the past 5 day trial on this stuff. But the next dose titrates to 7 more mg than what I've had so far. So I'm terrified I'll sleep even longer if I have to take it tonight. So I guess you could say that I feel insecure today. I want to stay home and hide, but I don't want to let down my bosses or lose my job.

Lauru sounds like your depression is getting worse. Have you talked to your pdoc? Wish I could help you pull through this.

Feeling anxious and exhausted today. I can feel the depression kicking in too. All I really feel like is climbing back in bed. I'm missing my husband really bad today and wishing life wasn't so hard. Pretending everything is alright is getting more difficult by the day. I keep telling myself I have to keep it together for my kids. I don't know how long I can keep up this charade. Usually coming to PC helps me out, but today I can't find the words to say to people. Wishing the stupid economy would pick up so things wouldn't be so ****ing hard. My mind has been racing since last night. Too much going on for me to handle.

Yes i tried talking to them and they said I hurt their feelings so I guess they dont know my bipolar symtoms or something but you know how it is bipolar comes out of my mouth and i dont care what I say at the time but I dont even feel bad about it hmmmmmmmm shouyld I tell them learn more about bipolr before you fly off the handle at me ?

HI I was dumped by my husband too he moved me here to Iowa then a month later ditched me when i went grocery shopping ! he left a note that said bye went back to Fresno !!! needless to say I was in the hospital for the same thing as your sister . I think what helped me most was to have someone to sit by someone to puit there arm around me when tv was on someone to lean on until I could deal with it but its something Im still not over and its gonna be 5 years in november . I just cant stop remembering how much I love him and how he left me like a coward.
So let your sister snuggle up to you and lean on you til shes better it helped me !

Im sooo sorry i know exactly what your going thru !

I feel kinda down today on the 22nd it was my ex husbands birthday (the one that left me here in Iowa) and the issue with my friends i decieded i would keep my door locked so they wouldnt come in whenever they wanted to bother me . I just dont want to deal with them .
I am enjoying spending time with my 5 month old grandson today though !

I also find it hard to find the words to help others here on pc but for today i want you to know I feel the same way . the depression is coming on I can feel it sneaking in again and i hate it . but we all have each other here and thank you for being here and shring it helps me and i hope i can help you ! we are not alone !!!

Today I am feeling kind of overwhelmed and for the last few days I think I've been ion a slightly manic and destructive state. I believe I told yall my tdoc left me for another job at another center. She left me a packet of inf that she thought could help me, one was a number of a lady to help me get my meds free or cheap ( I dont have a job and am waiting for a decision on disability) I found out that even if I get the help it will still be $6 a med and with 5 different meds I still cant afford it. Plus the main one that helps is not covered and I would have to pay out of pocket for it anyways which again I cant afford.

My car ins is due and as my premium went down I found out today I only have to pay <$20 this month and still may have to cancel because I just dont have it.

I miss my tdoc so ****ing bad, I used to talk to her everyday and today has been one of those days I REALLY needed her... She left me a note with the packet of info explaining the people to me and it made my cry just reading it.

IDK what to do anymore, I have been mixing my meds and taking other "things" I've gotten a hold of recently. Who knows what It'll do to me, who cares. I just wish I could finally be done with this world.....

P.S. Thanks for this thread again, it's my favorite one....

I feel loved today. I had to go to the doctors (1.5 hrs away) today, so I went to my mother-in-laws house so she could take me b/c she lives close by to the hospital. I decided to spend some time with her today, alone.....and she is just the polar opposite of my mom. She is very supportive, and believes that I should explore other employment options, and find something that I would actually like.

Some people no matter what you tell them about bp won't "get it", but it's worth trying. If you are still having the same difficulties with them then you can reevaluate at that time. In most cases people deserve second chances. I know I have been grateful when I received a second chance.

I have also had to end a couple of relationships with long term friends, but I feel okay about it because I did give them numerous chances, but the pattern kept repeating itself.

Today I am doing ok. Not too high, not too low, but just riiiiight.

Denise26 I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. Is there anyway you can see a Psychiatrist for samples of the meds you need? Don't let this set back with having to get a new therapist undo all the work you have already done.

Queen, I'm glad you had such a nice day with your "mom". I agree with taking the time to find what you will really enjoy for work.

That's great!

This is nice. I like just "checking in" and describing the day's/week's feelings, events, thoughts.

For a week now my small parttime job has been rough, clients are rude or cruel, I've been feeling defeated. I still try my best, but oh it's so good to get home, sling off my shoes, put on my comfy gown, and retire to the solitude of my room. And I love chat here!!

It's been a rough week or more also dealing with family (legal stuff, but it's over now). I'm worn out, feeling withdrawn (anti-d holding steady though) and somewhat scarred in my heart these days because of the pain this has caused. Even though I love my dancing in the moonlight avatar, those are the good days, and from the past I have good memories to hold dear on the bad days.



I really like PsychCentral and have hopefully made some friends here. It's so nice to share with others who "know" what it's like to be MI.

Anyway, that's the past week or so. It will get better of course.

I am seeing a pdoc at the same center I saw my tdoc, some of my ptsd/social anxiety/trauma fears caused me to only be able to be in the room with him if she was in there too. They said I could get another female that works there to sit in with me but you must understand that my tdoc was just about the only one I would even speak to besides the 2 receptionists and for sure the only one I felt safe enough in the room with him with.

Right now I just wish I had her to talk to... I could tell her all my craziness and know she wasnt judging me, was interested and could intellectually understand and respond to, and was compassionate (made me feel cared about and deserving of care)....

Not so depressed today. Still feel blah and scared about getting a job. Interview tomorrow and a substitute teaching orientation on Thurs. Wish me luck!