[midnight_soul]

I have cried out to the only person I have in life, my husband. He doesnt seem to care as I need or thought he would. He only listens when it is convient for him, screw my needs NASCAR is on etc. I have flat out told him my plans now, can't say it here, and he continues so, I .....lets just say out of tears and out of hope. When I met this man, he was so wonderful. He is a good man and every one LOVES and RESPECTS him in our small town. But after the last year or so when I have been so very sick, he only seems close to me when he wants something. I feel like he talks to me like a child being punished now... not as a husband caring for his wife. It is getting to the point that I want to run, but I have no place to go.

He found something I had and scolded me as if I were 9. He didn't care about me, he acts every day as if I am a burdon even though he says he loves me but we are just in the same house......no relationship as far as I am concerned. I want to HURT him so badly....not physically but mentally because he doesn't listen to me.

Sorry, I am on edge today

[Laurie1041]

Number 1 suggestion: a support group (psychiatrist, therapist, friends, family, online friends). On going mental distress can take its toll on those we love the most. One person cannot possibly meet all our needs. I highly recommend Mary Ellen Copeland's workbook, The Depression and Manic Depression Workbook. You can read about Ms. Copeland's Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) at:

http://www.mentalhealthrecovery.com/

Doing the workbook has been the single-most helpful thing to aid in my recovery - more than any medication ever did. I also recommend cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) with a therapist who is trained in this discipline. It is by far the most helpful form of therapy (per studies) and is more effective than just medication. Big hugs to you! Laurie

[blueoctober]

midnight_soul; Laurie gave great advice. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry your husband isn't being supportive.

Hi midnight soul- I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad. I think Laurie's advise is good. I am going to check out the workbook that she recommended. Until I found this website and finally called my local mental health clinic for help, my husband was the only person I had to talk to, so I know how you feel. This is just my opinion but I think that sometimes when men appear to be uncaring or unsympathetic, the real reason is that men like to fix things .And when they don't have the answers that we need ,they feel helpless . Sounds simplistic but I think its true. I am here for you if need to talk. I am sending a big hug your way.

[REINE D AMOUR]

hi i am so sorry for you ,i want to gave you a small advice ;it will be better to neglect your husband and to try to speak to your freinds and when you are down avoid him .

[sugahorse1]

I'm going to have a look on my local internet book shop www.kalahari.net and see what books in this field they have. And hopefully I'll find a workbook that can help me.

I had to give my boyfriend a real lecture the other day - he was "listening" to me - with both eyes glued to the TV. Finally managed to get him to at least turn down the volume, but I felt my words were falling on deaf ears.
On top of that, I have been a sounding board for him for weeks, with him starting 2 new businesses in a month.
I want someone to just hear me. And waiting until the next T app is not always an option

SO I really can empathise with you. PC has been invaluable for me, as I can check in 24/7 and in a few minutes I have a reply.

[jabberjaws]

Sorry your going through the same thing. My wife is the same way however she puts on an act when I go to thr Doc or when Family is around. Other then that I don't get the time of day. In fact she even signed up to work late once a week every week leaving me alone for well almost two days really it's hard. I'm Biploar1 Schizo Effective Dissorder with Parinoia, OCD. and other health issues I asked her not to but well..what can I do now my Depression is so low my Parinoia is way high. I sure know where your coming from. So if you ever need anyone to talk to. Some people just think of themselves I guess. Good Luck. Jabberjaws

[blueoctober]

I'm sorry you are going through that as well jabberjaws. I'm glad you decided to post and welcome to the forum!

[PT52]

I have cried out to the only person I have in life, my husband. He doesnt seem to care as I need or thought he would.

Hi midnight_soul: I just want to tell you you're not alone. I've been trying to work through things with my husband and it hasn't been easy. Particularly when I got fired from my last job, right after I was diagnosed and disclosed it to my boss. He was terrible to me, not just angry but downright mean in the things he said. We are now taking baby steps to heal our relationship.

Here's some things I learned in the process: Men in general need to fix things. If they aren't bipolar themselves, it's difficult for them to understand it, much less "fix" it. Because it scares them, their coping mechanism can often be avoidance (my husband found reruns of Entourage more important than interacting with me). It can also be anger. The thing to remember is that the anger is directed at you, but it's not about you.

OK, so what can we do about it? I am learning to give him space; to let him decide when he's ready to take an active and positive role in my treatment. It is what it is, and it just makes it that much worse when I try to force him into a role he's not ready for. Trust me, I bent a lot of ears on this forum with my frustration.

Next, I have turned to other sources for support - my sister, daughter, and this group right here. I still love my husband and I know he still loves me, and I think he's grateful that I decided not to put the burden on him of being my sole support in this.

Hope that helps, and hope you and your husband find peace together.