Things are starting up again...

Mmkay so first of all, I'm not bi-polar, well, I haven't been diagnosed. But I've started to refer to my "madness" as episodes, because they're much like the manic/depressive episodes described everywhere. Therefore I'm talking about this in the bipolar section, even though it might not have anything to do with being bi-polar...

Anyway, so I was doing REALLY badly for a while, but then everything settled down and I was really "normal." This happened for about a month over the summer, everything settled down, but then school started again and I got really bad. Anyway so this happened again, first with "mini" episodes, but then then I had a full blown, really bad one.

But I don't know if they're REAL episodes because they never seem to last for more than about 3 hours, at least the "manic" ones. The ones where I'm depressed last from either a few hours, to about two weeks.

SO yeah, I just... don't know what's going on. Does anyone know?

It could be bipolar. Some bipolars experience mood swings very rapidly, they call that "rapid cycling". You need to see a doctor to see if that is really what is going on with you, but yes, it could be a type of bipolar.

I have experienced the rapid cycling. Not fun. It does not happen to me that often anymore.

I remember doing it in front of my Doctor in Florida. He looked at me and smiled and said "you are Bi-Polar. My P-doc here has dx'ed me as severe depression, panic disorder, Schizophrenia, OCD, and PTSS. Once again...will the real dx please stand up.

TGC

i am bipolarbearianII. bipolarII means that your downs are more severe than your highs. sounds like you might be experiencing what i experience. try to talk to a professional and get some help. xoxo pat

Thanksss everyone.

This weekend I've been doing /really/ well, so !!

I wish I had the courage to see a doctor. Or talk to /anyone/ about it for that matter.

But I think I'm really starting to understand myself more. It's like, when I said I'd get really "manic" at times, I think those were just short periods when it got more severe, but in reality was there the whole time. It's just like a constant psychotic state of mind for a while, then I get normal again.

Uggggh I'm stupid. I keep asking what's wrong with me, and every single time I get the same answer: bi-polar. And I've yet to tell anyone about it. What sucks the most is when people I know in real life say I'm bi-polar, because then I know it's how I /really/ act and not something I just made up in my mind.

RAWR!!!

I agree with the others...you really owe it to yourself to get a referral to a pdoc. BD only gets worse with age--if you can get control now, you'll be MUCH better off. Example: Dr. Kay Redfield Jameson has been head of the Psychiatry Dept at Johns Hopkins for many years, and has been on lithium for 30 years or so...then there's me, just DX'ed, who has bounced around from job to job for 30 years.... Am I smart enough to be a Department head at Johns Hopkins? Maybe...most of my old gang all have their Ph.D. But I sure haven't been stable enough.

So, work really hard now on learning to manage your condition; it can make a HUGE difference in your life!

Your friend,
DJ

*Minor thread hijack in process*

Hi, DJ!
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Example: Dr. Kay Redfield Jameson has been head of the Psychiatry Dept at Johns Hopkins for many years, and has been on lithium for 30 years or so...then there's me, just DX'ed, who has bounced around from job to job for 30 years

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I've been more like you re: job situations and the heartache is I KNOW I'm intelligent with many talents to offer. But cannot stay stable enough to press on. In the past I have just quit my job when the depression hit. This time I am trying to hang in and went on short term disability hoping that between my pdoc and T, I can gain some coping skills. I even left my chosen field that I gained a Master's degree in due to a down cycle. *sigh*

Anyway, it helps to know there are others out there struggling with the same thing. Doesn't make it "better" just good to see someone who understands."

*Returning to regularly-scheduled thread*