[dirt69juggalo]

I'm so sick of not knowing how I'm going to be from day to day I wish it would level out for even a week

[Gus1234U]

so much suffering is caused by unmet expectations... when one accepts that no one knows what the day will bring, even those lucky few with many good days in a row will have a bad one now and then... it is wise to accept what the day brings, and find the goodness in it... i wish you well,, Gus

Hmmm...well, it is very difficult to define "normal", since everyone's definition is probably a bit different. However, I have felt balanced, and at my version of "normal", for sure. Besides a bit of an issue I've been having the past week and a half, my med combo has been working quite well and for the most part, have been feeling 90% balanced. Which is amazing to me.

Try to take things one day at a time and focus on the present moment. Worrying about the future is a waste of time and energy. I hope you find balance today.

[venusss]

nobody really knows where we are going... just have some aim in mind... and sail the waters.

I don't know what normal is.... I don't use the word. I had a nasty episode not so long ago, with *the thoughts*, followed by period of time when i felt nothing and felt empty. I could enjoy things when i was doing something.... but than I felt just empty and felt nothing. Terrible thought occured me that maybe this is the normal.
I do feel at peace most of times though.

[roads]

Originally Posted by melissa.recovering

Hmmm...well, it is very difficult to define "normal", since everyone's definition is probably a bit different. However, I have felt balanced, and at my version of "normal", for sure. Besides a bit of an issue I've been having the past week and a half, my med combo has been working quite well and for the most part, have been feeling 90% balanced. Which is amazing to me.

Try to take things one day at a time and focus on the present moment. Worrying about the future is a waste of time and energy. I hope you find balance today.

I've not a notion what anyone means by normal. Never have had; but my memory's lousy, so maybe I'm wrong about that.

Balance. Ahhh.... That I get. That I know ... when I have it, when I don't.

Thank you.

[Detach]

I know when I'm "my" normal and when I'm not. And I have been my normal/stable/balanced for about a week or so, however I'm coming out of a long episode, meds were adjusted several times up, then back down. So, now I feel good... it's been a lot of work to feel this way however- Pdoc is great, Tdoc has helped and meds are now well balanced.

Mood-wise? Yes, sometimes.
Personality-wise? Never.

[dejavu65]

I am not sure what should be normal. However, I do know know that for me the "normal" moments come in small doses. Like when you have a conversation with someone and get separated from your own world. Inevitably your mind takes over again and the moment passes.

[Yesterdays]

Just wanted to say that I know how you feel. But really, no one is as normal as we think. No one is always happy, and no one is always sad. Everyone gets a little bit of both. You just get a little more of both. I'm the same way, you're not alone. Just try not to look at it like you're cursed for life. Focus on one day at a time, and don't worry about what tomorrow might bring. Live in the moment, and it won't really matter if you're normal or not.

[dirt69juggalo]

I guess I did word it wrong I do mean balanced I mean going through just one week or even a day where I'm not flying or ready to end it I don't know I hate feeling like this. Its never lasted this long

[espritlibre]

I understand what you mean. I could have writted that first post myself - it's exactly how I've been feeling. I think dejavu's comment is also very true, that a moment can 'distract' us from the craziness inside. Here's hoping we find some peace (not the eternal kind!) eventually.

[espritlibre]

*written

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by espritlibre

I understand what you mean. I could have writted that first post myself - it's exactly how I've been feeling. I think dejavu's comment is also very true, that a moment can 'distract' us from the craziness inside. Here's hoping we find some peace (not the eternal kind!) eventually.

I am very aware in that moment, however, that I am posing as a normal person, that my conversation partner does not realize what is inside and what has been my past. So while I enjoy such moments, I am also on high alert. This is with more important and repeat conversation partners, I CAN enjoy a completely casual conversation with a stranger as if I were normal and kind, without feeling on high alert.

Sorry if this takes the thread astray a bit.

[Confusedinomicon]

I don't try to analyze whether or not I am feeling normal today, yesterday, tomorrow...I don't see a point in agonizing in something that is perceptually based. I am entitled to good days and bad days as much as the next person besides me. There is a statistic that says 1 in 4 adults has some form of MI. That is a large, HUGE. It shows that there are so many people who don't know what 'normal' is. I asked my dad the other day about my personality and he said I was a bit eccentric, and I'd probably never be 'normal'. At first it bothered me, but then I realized it wasn't a bad thing.

I don't try to be normal. I just try to survive each day, and if I can do that I am successful.

[Seaswept]

I was normal, whatever normal is, before I was diagnosed with this.
Now every time I feel back to my old self- "normal" happy, creative, mind clearer, and more energy- not too too much but enough, I start getting hypo-manic and then manic, sometimes delusional.

The family gets concerned and it all goes down hill from there . I really spin out of control fast each time I have an episode. The doc told me this happens but I didn't believe him.

Just not sure what normal is anymore. Of course it is different for everyone just like everything else in this world of human beings.

[SunAngel]

I don't like the word "normal" because who is it to say what is normal.

I wake up everyday thinking how I am going to feel that day, but you know what, I think everybody does, bipolar or not.

[Fresia]

I hear you about the unpredictable nature of how you are feeling and that it would be nice to be leveled out. I hate managing it myself.

I was thinking however, that I don't know that normal exists for anyone. With changes in mood, thoughts and feelings for everyone, it is just a matter to what degree, no one has normal in their lives, BP diagnosis or not. Perhaps a normal routine but not in how they feel or for their emotions in how they react to the events of their days and their thoughts as they are constantly changing. You are not alone but it is possible to work with it instead of against it.

It was once recommended to me to focus on not the day, let alone the days ahead in what it will be, but purely on (as some mentions above) the 'moment at hand' and to find a balance for it. Can't know what will happen next and spending time focusing on anything other than the present, not how we want things to be, or going over the past that cannot be changed is a waste of our precious time that we have now that can be used to combat how the thoughts, moods, and feelings are right now. We don't have to sit idly by but have a choice in how we cope with them. Let the feelings come but we can choose whether we pay attention to them, act on them, or just let them go. They are feelings, not facts, so we can choose how we want them to affect us.

Normal can become a pattern defined for us in how we want to deal with what comes our way, but not a state of being. Find ways to balance it. I don't know it you work with a T or counselor, but they can help to normalize patterns and methods to combat it. It is possible. Hang in there!