[missmorganxo]

I'm staying with my Mom and Dad while I'm having marital issues. My father was very very verbally and physically abusive to my Mom and I growing up so staying here is very difficult, as he is still very abusive.

Well, tonight I took my first dose of seroquel and he got up in my face and told me "If you weren't so effing lazy and got out of bed, nothing would be wrong with you. You're not bipolar - you're stupid. You chose to be mentally ill. You chose it. I'm so sick of you doing nothing, you disgust me. Go take your dope (my seroquel) and go the **** to bed."

My Mom heard and came and got in his face and said that she was taking herself and I to live with my grandparents. And now he's screaming and getting in her face, I feel like calling the police.

I'm having flash backs from my childhood abuse and when he would beat me with belts and stuff. I'm so terrified, I can't even leave my room to go to the bathroom. I'm paralyzed with fear. I HATE HIM SO MUCH.

I just have tears pouring down my face.

My husband is so unsupportive, he told me, well go to a hotel. I'm like, thanks. You're really great.

My Mom is trying to comfort me but I'm sick to my stomach. Maybe I am just crazy. Maybe I am worthless. Maybe I should just be dead and maybe I am disgusting.

[missmorganxo]

He claims to be Christian and about two years ago, he strangled me until I almost passed out to get a "demon to leave me."

No wonder I'm so effed up. I felt like saying, you probably effed me up worse than my genetics did.

He told my Mom I chose to lay around and be mentally ill, and it's just a way to not have responsibility. I can't believe someone would judge me over a mental illness that ONE PYSCHIATRIST AND ONE PYSCHOLOGIST BOTH confirmed that I have. Like it's my effing fault I'm bipolar. I'm sorry my brain is not right. I'm sorry I'm crazy. I'm sorry I was born.

Sorry - sorry - sorry.

[blue_lips]

I'm so sorry that you're being treated so poorly!
I don't think you're disgusting at all, I know you're a wonderful person with an unfortunate environment. I wish you the best, and there's always people here who you can talk to. My family really tiptoes around my mental illness and doesn't see it as a legitimate issue. I've yet to see a bona fide family environment for people with bipolar disorder. I wish you the best.

I would call the police, and try to have him removed out of the home until he can calm down. However, I don't know that it's the best idea. I just have no room for abusers in my life, if there is one thing I have zero tolerance for it is abuse.

Where do your grand parents live? Close enough for you and mom to get to tonight?

I am really sorry about your husband, and marital problems, and your dad. I do not understand some people. Not at all.

You are not crazy, worthless, or disgusting. Do not let him have that power over you. Maybe this is really how he feels about himself.

I'm really really sorry.

He sounds a lot like my own father, very similar. You know what, my father ended up being dx eventually.

[missmorganxo]

My grandparents are really close by. He went in his bedroom. My Mom is staying close to me to protect me from him and she's going to see her counselor tomorrow to figure out how she's going to leave. He'll cut off all her money, and she is on disability so it's barely enough for her to survive...he'll like, cut the debit/credit cards off and empty the bank account.

She said we'll leave in a day or two.

I'm just sick to my stomach. I can't believe people can be so ignorant about bipolar and mental illness. And think you CHOSE TO BE mentally ill. That's so hurtful, and so wrong. I'm just angry. I'm so angry.



Thank you, Anika. *hugs*

[missmorganxo]

I told my husband what happened and all he said was "I'm sorry" and that was it, via text message. He doesn't protect me. He doesn't, and my Mom never did.

Nobody protects me. And, I'm sick of protecting people who could give a damn if I get abused. I'm tired of it.

Personally, I think you should go to a women's shelter or grand parents, with or with out mom. Do you think your mom will really leave in a day or two?

You really don't need this right now. You need peace. Women's shelters are really not that bad, trust me, not here anyways, actually pretty nice. The thing is they have the resources, and contacts, counseling, all the stuff you need to get on your feet. Sounds like you might need extra help pertaining to your husband too. but you have to get well first before you can even begin to deal with the rest.

[missmorganxo]

If my Mom doesn't leave tomorrow, I'm going to stay with my grandparents. My grandmother has schizophrenia but she's doing okay with it and I'm extremely close with her and my grandma. I lived with them a bit as a child, and they're like, the closest people in my life. So, I feel comfortable going without my Mom and I will tomorrow irregardless.

Thank you for your help

[Forgive77]

You poor thing...let me at him!!! Glad you can go to your grandparents. That should be good for you. Sorry for the rest of it. xoxoxo

[Moose72]

Ugh. I feel so bad for you. I have a similar situation.

[CarlaBentley]

That's all very, very sad.
I know that this is a bit off subject, but if your mom has her name on any of the bank accounts, etc., that your father has, she should take her half of it out like NOW, and certainly before letting him know that she's going to do it!!! Let her put it an account in her name only. At the very least, she should get as much hard copy proof of any and all assets, even if they're just in his name. If she actually does leave and if she goes for a divorce, that kind of stuff might prove helpful to her.

As for you, I'm so glad that you intend to go to your grandparents' house. No one should be living with a man as sick and abusive as your father. What a difficult life you've led.
If you aren't in any kind of therapy right now, I hope that will consider going. All those feelings of being worthless and disgusting, etc., are pretty much what results from being brought up the way you were. They're false beliefs. And they're the KIND of false beliefs that therapy is very effective in correcting.

Wishing you and your family all the luck in the world. I'm very glad that you are getting out of the environment that you are in right now. It's worse than just unhealthy. It's downright dangerous.

I hope that Seroquel works out well for you!!!! It's a very effective drug!!! (((((Hugs)))))