My P-doc gave up on me!

Two weeks ago, I made an emergency visit to my psych clinic and saw the head of psychiatry. I had been off pills for a couple of weeks (they made me really manic) and I was having mixed episodes in-between rapid cycling. My usual p-doc was on vacation, so the head of the clinic gave me Saphris. The first day, the med knocked me out; but the second day I had a really bad reaction (I was shaking violently and could hardly breathe). I didn't go to the ER (I should have); but, needless to say, I stopped taking the medication.

Today, I finally got in to see my usual p-doc. She said she has given up on me. She won't give me any more meds and wants me to go to counseling. I have had allergic reactions to meds before and she thinks it will just happen again. She knows I am Bipolar and she knows this is chemical, but she said she is absolutely refusing to give me anything else. I offered to try Seroquel again because I had a positive experience before the meds stopped working and she told me "no." She said take some Xanax for any anxiety and simply try to go to counseling to change my lifestyle.

I am a bit devastated. This is the second p-doc to give up on me. I have been to counseling before and counseling alone does not work. I can't believe any doctor would simply send someone like me out the door. She knows I am going to get bad again. I told her I am turning in assignments late and barley making it to class. I told her I feel absolutely hopeless and she seemed like she was shrugging it off.

I don't know what to do. The logical thing is to call the clinic and ask to see someone else. The head of the psychiatry office may be an option. Obviously, she didn't know the Saphris would give me a bad reaction, but at least she tried to help! I saw another lady months ago and she made me uncomfortable. She started talking about ECT and had quotes from Darwin on her walls. It's a small clinic, so I don't have a lot of options. I can't afford to go elsewhere. I might e-mail the p-nurse and see what she thinks. She's been a bit of an advocate for me, so she might know.

I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

She gave up on you? Really? Wow, maybe she needs to go back to school then. She could of tried you on a different medication. You said the Seroquel helped, so that's an obvious option. I'm on Seroquel and love it so far.

I'd find a new pdoc, not affiliated with them. That's just awful, I've never heard of a pdoc giving up on someone. I'm sorry! What an awful experience.

okay... don't take this in wrong way, but you seem to be dwelling on being bad and being taken care of.

You insist on being absolutelly hopeless... why? I think the doc may have faith in you (or is afraid that another cure might do more harm than good... it is actually responsible. well and probably trying to protect her *** too, because she doesn't want to be responsible if something bad happens...).

why don't you try the councelling, forget the hopeless BS (person in PhD mode cannot be hopeless, damnit) and see how you do? Who knows maybe it will work for you.

Venus, if I were kicked out of my pdoc's office I'd be upset, too. Its supposed to be the person we go to when we're at our worst! I've gone through lots of meds with bad reactions. Its not easy.

You need to find a new p-doc, there will be someone out there who hasn't given up on you but mainly don't give up on yourself!

Not true. I have tried to manage my own mental health my entire life (mostly) on my own. I'm quite independent and would not even ask for care unless I thought I really need it. Right now, I need it. I have handled years upon years of sexual abuse, practically being homeless, undergrad, my Masters, being a PhD student, two surgeries, and leaving an almost 10 year relationship without much support. I rarely reach out for help and I need help now.

I've tried counseling before, several times. I made a therapist cry talking about my abuse because he just couldn't take talking about it. Other counselors weren't helpful and I have been misdiagnosed.

I am not insisting on being hopeless. I *feel* hopeless. Feeling and actually being hopeless are two different things. When reaching out for help is my last ditch effort and it took a lot for me to admit I even need help, I feel completely dumped on. If the p-doc felt the way you described, she would have told me. Plus, doctors take risks every single time they write a prescription. The p-doc should be one place where you feel safe, feel as if there is open dialogue and honesty, and feel as if there is always hope. I think my main thing is that I left myself be vulnerable and tried to deal with my Bipolar with someone who is supposed to be a professional, and I left feeling as if there is no hope for me. NO ONE with mental illness should feel that way when they are seeking help.

You're right, no one should be left feeling that way! I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you can find a new pdoc that can help you before things get bad again. You deserve to be taken care of by someone willing to try and find the right medication!

I am not insisting on being hopeless. I *feel* hopeless. Feeling and actually being hopeless are two different things. When reaching out for help is my last ditch effort and it took a lot for me to admit I even need help, I feel completely dumped on. If the p-doc felt the way you described, she would have told me. Plus, doctors take risks every single time they write a prescription. The p-doc should be one place where you feel safe, feel as if there is open dialogue and honesty, and feel as if there is always hope. I think my main thing is that I left myself be vulnerable and tried to deal with my Bipolar with someone who is supposed to be a professional, and I left feeling as if there is no hope for me. NO ONE with mental illness should feel that way when they are seeking help.


Look, I am biased. I don't like doctors. Any doctors. But I don't see doctor giving up on you as reason to give up on yourself. They have few letters they wear in front of their name, but how long did she actually known you and what kind of person you are?

Maybe she gone through lawsuit with another patient. Maybe she is just person who does not take risks. Maybe she does really think you be better off on your own instead of being guinea pig. I don't know. But it is about her and her interpretation of you... not much about you being hopeless.

I guess I am bit overreactive lately, but it PISSES ME OFF when people give up on themselves based on label or what some person said about them (especially since there could be more explanations for that... as I said above).

You take care of yourself. Try to reach out elsewhere if you feel you need to, but take their advice with shovel of salt if it seems to contradict your feelings and values.

I have been fired by 4 different psychiatrists in my life. I look back and realize that I expected too much from them. I would only show up when I was in trouble and expect them to figure it out. Now that I have a good Psychiatrist, and I am more stable than I have ever been, that I had to put being stabylized as the number one thing in my life. I have to work with my Psychiatrist during good and bad times. I would never stay consistantly on my meds, I always had a reason that made sense to me. I realize I basically wore the other 4 Psychiatrists out. I insisted on it being my way. They eventually would only perscribe me valium and send me on my way, you got it, to go to counseling. It was a horrible 15 years. I finally got a good Psychologist who patiently let me know that I needed a Psychiatrist, I needed to make and keep my appointments with the Psychiatrist, Take my meds as perscribed, and only change them with the psychiatrists permission. By the 4th appointment she also told me if I chose not to do it, that she would no longer be my Psychologist. Thank God I finally decided to do it their way. It took three years and at least 15 different med combo's before I found the right mix. This is a deadly illness, and I had come to the end of myself. Just my experience.

I am amazed that I am still alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wore out my college psychiatrist, who finally didn't know what to do with me, and had me shipped up to a state facility closer to home.(That place was horrible. Trauma!! He could have picked a better facility, but that is beside the point.) Anyway, since it was a voluntary admission, I managed to get myself out after a week, and go home to a new T and new pdoc, who stuck with me for 15 years.

It was my T who recommended my pdoc, and he was good. So don't give up on pdocs, the right one is out there for you. It just might take some patience in finding him/her.

The doctor probably wrote "discharged due to noncompliance with plan of treatment". The doc is basically to manage medications it this type situation. Some docs are just not going to keep spinning their wheels when patient's wont adhere to the treatment plan.

It seems like trying to find another pdoc would be a good idea. It can be frustrating I'm sure to treat people who keep having reactions or who don't adhere to their meds. My pdoc is very supportive and works with me when something isn't right. I always take my meds as prescribed and clear changes with her so she takes me seriously when I start spiraling. I think sometimes we get so overwhelmed we fall into that fix me role when the relationship should be reciprocal. You each need to contribute something to help you be healthy.

I had a pdoc give up on me too. After every AD on the face of the earth and another 12 medications, four months on the ward, and 11 ECT sessions I can sort of see his point. He said he couldn't do anything more for me and he sent me back to a hospital in my hometown. I did get better eventually.

I had a psychologist say that I have an answer to everything and he couldn't do anything more either. But he was very young and new. And I can be very convoluted and annoying.

well said and much to be learned from that. I am so happy that that you are doing better. I think we each have our journey, but it is a decision to comply...ironically i worked as a case manager/ social worker before i became sick and i would do anything for a client who was willing to do as much for themselves as possible....and sometimes i would have to give up on the client until they were ready to change. I never knew then i would be where i am today, but it helps me in understanding that my pdoc and myself work together, if it is not a comfortable fit than i need to find a new one ( i have been with this one for 10 years) and would be distraught if i had to change.