Personal issue causeing me big distress, how do I deal with it ?

I have been doing pretty good lately, until the last few days.

I am really scared I am going to crash hard. I am having problems in real life, that I am scared to post about, have no one to talk to about without consequence, and there is just no simple fix, or answers in sight, and I am feeling really confused. If I had a T I could talk to for this I would. It isn't really an option at this time.

So the most important thing to me at the moment is not crashing. The only way I have been keeping my head up at all, is to try and not think, this isn't working of coarse. I have never been good at swimming through highly stressful situations.

Are any of you good compartmentalizer's ? This is the only thing I can think of right now to get me through. Or is that even the right term? What I think I need to do is find a way to put this "stuff" somewhere until I am able to deal with it. I really don't know how.

I am the only person who is even aware of a problem, so time is not an issue. I have plenty of time, but I can't afford to be railroaded with depression right now. My usual tools for depression are not working that good, because this situation is not going to be fixed anytime soon.

((Anika)) I'm not good at handling stress either. I hope that you get through this, and that you aren't struck with a depression.

You're strong. I believe in you!

Im so sorry you are having a hard time dealing with this. Just wanted you to know I am here if you need a virtual shoulder. I will say a prayer for you tonight.

Thank you ladies ,

I know I'm being really vague. Haha and I did not do anything bad.

I can't imagine you doing anything "bad"! You're one of the sweetest people I've ever interacted with.

Thanks Secretum, aw that means alot and Moremi thank you for the prayer. Very much both of you.

Well I re read what I wrote and thought, omg it sounds like I'm a felon or something.

I'm sending (((((hugs))))) your way!

As for compartmentalizing, not thinking about an issue or subject only makes me think about it more.

I find that writing helps me to work on issues I can't get out of my head. Once I put my thoughts to paper, it's easier for me to set them aside for a while. If you aren't a daily writer, and you don't have any idea where to start, just start writing anything that comes to mind. Your name, the date, the fact that you feel silly doing this. After a minute or two of writing whatever the heck pops into your head, you'll start to get to the issue at hand. It may take several pages and a good chunk of time, but once you have written it all out, you can physically put the paper someplace hidden, and if it works, leave the thoughts there with the paper.

If you are worried about it being found, tear it all up and dispose of the evidence. It's getting the thoughts out of your system that counts, not what you do with the paper afterward.

I hope this helps!!! Here are some more hugs, just in case:

Thank you Bugs,

That is a good idea. I am not a writer and wouldn't have thought about that. Yes fear of being found too probably would have stopped me. You're right I can destroy it afterwards.

I think the weight of the issue and the burden of keeping it to myself is the hardest. I'm a talker by nature, I just loooove to talk stuff through.

I have been working on awareness and I think I got more awareness then I bargained for. That'll teach ya. Hopefully some more awareness as what to do with this will come.

You are right, trying not to think makes me obsess with it.

I wish I had some great advice .. But I dont.... hense why I struggle the same as you in this matter

((((((((( Hugs )))))))))) and more ((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

Wish I had great words of wisdom, I don't compartmentalize very well either. Recently I've taken to visualizing a black box and dropping the subject in there. Wasn't easy at 1st but the subject comes up less now.

Massive sss to you my friend, you're gonna make it

Anika, there are plenty of ways to write online in a password-protected fashion, from a private blog to Google Docs if you have gmail account to other google docs-type environments - the fear of being found should not stop you.

Dear Anika, don't know how I do this but can "put" issues away somewhere, like they don't exist, when I know nothing can be done or right before something has to be done. Then make a quick final assessment, decision & go with it. Try to go with gut feeling.

Is this healthy, I don't know... But that's just me.

Really sorry you are having to suffer in silence on this one. Will say a prayer of wisdom & peace for you.

Please take care of you!!

I get this way too when stress is weighing me down. I can't think straight to save my soul.

But walking does help to burn off some of the chemicals you produce while under stress. The physical movement, plus my ipod, I do end up feeling a bit better.

I like pen and paper too. It helps me to put things in their proper place.

I hope your stressful storm passes soon.

I do try to distract myself when negative thought cycles come up - not the same as compartmentalizing, I guess, but it often helps. Not always, but enough that I keep trying it as a strategy to manage things.

I also find that there's a lot of value for me in writing about what's bothering me. It gets it out of my system, so to speak. It doesn't solve anything, but writing often helps you think through the issues you're trying to address, so I really support that effort. (Of course, exercise is great too, but I know you're already diligent about that!)

There are many ways to write public/private as you need to - the suggestion of Google Docs is good and fully private unless you choose to share it with specific people. I have an anonymous blog, though it's linked here, and if I wanted I could password protect some posts and give out the password on request - or not at all. I like the ability to get feedback from others, which makes me feel understood and sometimes includes different perspectives or tips that help me out as well.

Another nice tool is http://750words.com/, you might want to check that out. It's a private online space for working out your thoughts. Sometimes doing the writing online feels "safer" than anything stored on your computer, and this is a way to do it without worrying about forgetting to make something private.

Sorry to hear that you've got another thing to worry about - it seems like you've had more than your fair share!

OMG can I ever relate to this. More than it is possible to say. Sorry to say that, because it really really sucks, wouldn't wish it on anyone, and I'm so sorry you're going through it!!!
Hmmm. Good compartmentalizer? Pretty good. Like kindachaotic, not sure if it's a healthy thing or not, but... I do try to do it with things that are truly out of my control, especially if there is a specific timeframe they're going to "go down" in. My thinking is that I need to recognize what is out of my control and let it go. Worrying will NOT change the fact of having no control over it, so why add the weight of it to the pile? Cross that bridge when we get to it. Till then it doesn't exist.
I'm not a talker, so I can only imagine how hard that is for you, being a talker!
This is a good strategy. Though in doing it one of my aims is to get it out of my system, it doesn't work all that well for me. (It would probably be more effective in that if it weren't for OCD(!)) Even so, it is really effective for sorting through. It can get to be a real jumble up there, and it helps in being able to put it in a distilled, logical form (which is utterly impossible when it's inside my head). It also does help a bit with "stop" thinking. "It's already down. All of it. You won't forget anything. No, really, it's all there." (After spinning for months, writing it out numerous times, jumping out of bed another 17 times ever single time for addendums, it really IS all there! It'd be funny if it weren't so aggravating.)

So, all that is to say that even if it's not effective in every aspect for you, it's still worth doing.

Don't put this on the back burner. The best way for me to pull out of depression is to get in to manic mode. There I am able to plan, organize and get strength to move ahead with a plan because I have one.

Find that manic spot, get a well thought thru exit plan in place and litlle by little start using it. You don't want any physical or mental sudden moves. Do this is in a controlled manner and it won't be so emotional.