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  #26  
Old Jun 15, 2012, 11:58 AM
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faerie_moon_x faerie_moon_x is offline
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Originally Posted by simoneadams91 View Post
i've thought about adoption a lot. I'm not sure if I can carry this baby for nine months, spend hours in labor, give birth and then give the baby away. I've always been a pretty responsible person, and to me even if i give this baby up I will always feel responsible for what happens in this child's life. My ex has asked me to just give the baby to him, but i feel like i would still be responsible for whatever happens in this child's life. My biggest fear is having a child in this world and years later having to explain to my child why I didn't want him/her or why I wasn't around. I've had an abortion before. The guy I was dating told me that he wanted nothing to do with the baby and if i kept it he would hate me forever. So I got an abortion. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. It took me to be in this situation now to understand that I did the right thing.
It's just amazing to me that people can be so cruel and hurtful. This pregnancy is reminding me of everything I've tried to forget. I've been through so many up and mostly downs in my life, and it's hard for me to live through it. I wouldn't mind keeping this baby if I didn't worry about this baby having to suffer this life with me. It doesn't deserve that. I don't deserve it but I have to live it. I just don't want that for my child.
I'm really sorry you've gotten stuck in this situation. There is no easy answer.

Have you spoken to a professional on this level? I mean someone who works with pregnant women who are in situations like yours?
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  #27  
Old Jun 15, 2012, 12:21 PM
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no... i don't even know where to start.
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  #28  
Old Jun 15, 2012, 12:39 PM
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BlueInanna BlueInanna is offline
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I'm so sorry too Simone, what a hard decision. I've been following your thread and wishing I could help you somehow. I've made the choice before too, more than once, even over 3 months (thanks godess we're anonymous on here - I know people have strong opinions about the subject). I couldn't pay for it so the state helped me. You could probably get it paid for by state, I have no idea about Georgia but California is very helpful to women in this situation. It's YOUR body, your decision, but you should move fast with making the decision. 9 months flies by before you know it. You can always have the baby at a future more stable time in your life. I support you whichever you decide. Be strong, you can get through this.
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  #29  
Old Jun 15, 2012, 01:07 PM
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I know you said you don't like the idea of welfare, but I agree with BlueInanna. You might have to look into that option. I don't know about Georgia either. But maybe calling for assistance will at least get you pointed in the right direction hopefully, or at least let you know what options are available.
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  #30  
Old Jun 15, 2012, 01:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueInanna View Post
I'm so sorry too Simone, what a hard decision. I've been following your thread and wishing I could help you somehow. I've made the choice before too, more than once, even over 3 months (thanks godess we're anonymous on here - I know people have strong opinions about the subject). I couldn't pay for it so the state helped me. You could probably get it paid for by state, I have no idea about Georgia but California is very helpful to women in this situation. It's YOUR body, your decision, but you should move fast with making the decision. 9 months flies by before you know it. You can always have the baby at a future more stable time in your life. I support you whichever you decide. Be strong, you can get through this.
the state of georgia doesn't help with such things. i've called the NAF but i haven't been able to get through to anyone, and from what i'm told they only help with like $200. which is better than nothing.. but it's not enough. it seems that i'm stuck with this baby and i've been looking online all morning for therapist that will take my insurance. i'm going to need all the help i can get mentally. hopefully I can see someone before next week... I have an OB appointment. sigh, I'm supposed to learn the sex of the baby. Not sure i want to know anymore.
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  #31  
Old Jun 15, 2012, 04:06 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Can you postpone the decision? I imagine that amidst the hormones and emotions of labor it is very hard to make a life-altering decision. What if you stay with the child for a while (which would be better for him or her anyway than being with dad because of breastfeeding that dad cannot provide and I am sure he does not have financial capabilities to buy from a milk bank) and then decide? Prolactin from breastfeeding just might induce attachment, and then you would want to keep the child. Or perhaps not - you will be making a level-headed decision. Or you may decide not to breastfeed but instead take your medications, and they will help you make a level-headed decision.
  #32  
Old Jun 15, 2012, 05:11 PM
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Well, Simone, sounds like you're going to be having a baby. It may be rocky emotionally, but you're looking for support that's awesome. With my middle son, I really really did not want him, was still nursing my daughter. By the time I realized I was pregnant was too late to end the pregnancy. I was so depressed and my ex-husband was unavailable emotionally, stealing money from me to buy drugs, it was horrible. But once my baby was born, I held him in my arms I loved him with all my soul, knew I would do anything for him. I lived with my parents who were a huge support and I eventually got the strength to break up with the dad. Now my son is 16, he's the most troubled of my kids, has the strongest bipolar of the family. He recently yelled at me that I never wanted him and that I wanted an abortion, I didn't admit to it of course and I don't know how he knew. But I cried and told him things haven't been perfect but that he means the world to me and that I wouldn't want him any other way than who he is. He cried too and hugged me. This in no way means this will happen with your child. The point is that we go through really hard stuff in life, but that obstacles can be overcome. There can always be love and hope and healing. You will get through this, and don't worry if you're not yet attached, give it time and be kind to yourself. Keep posting here, we are here for you to talk to.
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  #33  
Old Jun 15, 2012, 06:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
Can you postpone the decision? I imagine that amidst the hormones and emotions of labor it is very hard to make a life-altering decision. What if you stay with the child for a while (which would be better for him or her anyway than being with dad because of breastfeeding that dad cannot provide and I am sure he does not have financial capabilities to buy from a milk bank) and then decide? Prolactin from breastfeeding just might induce attachment, and then you would want to keep the child. Or perhaps not - you will be making a level-headed decision. Or you may decide not to breastfeed but instead take your medications, and they will help you make a level-headed decision.
i might postpone finding out the sex. it depends on how i'm feeling. i'm just going to try and take things day by day. i do plan to breastfeed... so maybe that will help with attachment.
I want to be the best parent possible for this baby. So hopefully i can find a therapist and continue therapy throughout the rest of this pregnancy and after the baby is born.
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  #34  
Old Jun 15, 2012, 06:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simoneadams91 View Post
i might postpone finding out the sex. it depends on how i'm feeling. i'm just going to try and take things day by day. i do plan to breastfeed... so maybe that will help with attachment.
I want to be the best parent possible for this baby. So hopefully i can find a therapist and continue therapy throughout the rest of this pregnancy and after the baby is born.
You go, girl. You are a strong, determined, responsible human being. More power to you.
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  #35  
Old Jun 16, 2012, 08:15 AM
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So i've been at the hospital all night.. I found out the sex of the baby. but anyway, I went in for vomiting blood. they told me that one- i'm starving the baby, and two- my liver enzyme count was slightly high and that I have hepatitis.
Now i'm freaking out because at my last docs appointment I didn't have any problems. How the hell could I have hepatitis. Then I thought about how my ex came down for the docs appointment and he kissed me. You can't catch hepatitis from a kiss can you?!?
I freaking the f**k out right now and I really feel like I'm about to lose my mind.
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  #36  
Old Jun 16, 2012, 11:57 AM
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Hepatitis what - A, B, C, ...?
  #37  
Old Jun 16, 2012, 04:00 PM
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they didn't say... they don't know for sure. i'm supposed to follow up with my doctor on monday. they said it could be from bile backing up into my liver from my gallbladder from vomiting.. but i honestly don't know.
I was perfectly healthy at my last doctors visit and I haven't done anything besides sit around the house, so all this is a complete shock to me. If it's not one thing... it's another.
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  #38  
Old Jun 17, 2012, 06:16 PM
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Let us know what doctor says on Monday. You must be so worried. All the crying and puking is so exhausting. Sending you big hugs.
  #39  
Old Jun 17, 2012, 06:28 PM
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I just want to say when a gallstone was blocking my liver from functioning properly they told me I had hep. C. However I do not, so don't stress until they actually confirm it maybe confirm it 2x.
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  #40  
Old Jul 15, 2012, 01:56 PM
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simoneadams91, how have you been?
  #41  
Old Aug 13, 2012, 04:05 AM
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simoneadams91, how have you been?
Sorry i haven't been on in awhile. i've just been taking things day by day. lately I have just been ignoring all my problems and pretending that they don't exist, just so I can have a peace of mind every once in awhile. Sometimes it works, other times not so much. I've been having a lot of anxiety thinking about what's going to happen when I have the baby. I know I'll have to put my ex on child-support but I don't want to give him a chance to take me to court about him receiving rights to see the baby. I has really been bothering the crap out of me because I don't want him in my life or my babies life. The closer I get to having this baby the more depressed I get because I have no control over what happens to my child once he gets here. It scares the living hell out of me. I feel like I have no control of my future and that leaves me feeling very suicidal at times.
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  #42  
Old Aug 13, 2012, 11:58 AM
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Please visit herehttp://dcss.dhs.georgia.gov/child-access-visitation . It looks like unwed fathers have little to no rights in Georgia
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