[greysfan]

I miss the ease in talking to others, making them laugh and not even having to try. I miss being carefree, not having to worry about things all the time. I miss being the funny one. I have just become so withdrawn that I'm now nothing in terms of...well, anything really. I'm resentful towards those who just watched my sink into depression, but maybe I should have just faked happiness instead of shutting everyone out. I want to connect with the world again, but I'm kind of clueless about how to start again. x

[Clinte89]

Hey greysfan Im sorry your going through such a hard time right now. I know what you mean as I did the same thing, hell I even ran my friends off by being an *** at times. But I found and youll see this to, I hope, no I know youll see it, is that you can always re introduce yourself to society, its not easy but well worth the effort it takes. The only way to start is to just do start with your close friends. Thats my advice. I hope this helps you, if not im sorry.

Originally Posted by greysfan

I miss the ease in talking to others, making them laugh and not even having to try. I miss being carefree, not having to worry about things all the time. I miss being the funny one. I have just become so withdrawn that I'm now nothing in terms of...well, anything really. I'm resentful towards those who just watched my sink into depression, but maybe I should have just faked happiness instead of shutting everyone out. I want to connect with the world again, but I'm kind of clueless about how to start again. x

how long greys?...have you been feeling this way?

might sound overfloating but missing is what drags us out of the depression...it sounds nuts I just read it back but ...damn it it's exactly what makes the depression so nasty because it's reminding you of the absence of the things that are precisely the opposite

it's like it's gotta melt you apart first...and faking it don't work too well thats kinda like apathy it don't last.

it's not your fault it's a mechanism in the heart and mind something has upset you way deeper and incomprehensible and it's reflex to resent the unsuffering.

can you hang on....it goes away....it's not fair for it to hang around

...

ok I had to come back to this one.."how to start again?"

where it all began before where it was fine before the sadness hit before it all went black before it seemed impossibly far away...

to embrace these moments these times is exactly what your self within is trying to do and it manifests as pain in the shape of missing ....

a small example....I like hot chocolate in bed when I wake up....it's cool sorta' for me

I have to start right there making that hot chocolate when I wake up otherwise I will remain in bed waiting and miserable it's hard...

I can go weeks and months trying to survive and neglecting the smallest things that piece together my personality even the littlest things....

go right back to the start....slowly gently move from one item to the next ignore the rest of the people it's about you now it's not wasting time it's hard it's worth it greys

[hilaryous10]

Originally Posted by greysfan

I miss the ease in talking to others, making them laugh and not even having to try. I miss being carefree, not having to worry about things all the time. I miss being the funny one. I have just become so withdrawn that I'm now nothing in terms of...well, anything really. I'm resentful towards those who just watched my sink into depression, but maybe I should have just faked happiness instead of shutting everyone out. I want to connect with the world again, but I'm kind of clueless about how to start again. x

I understand how you feel. I used to be super duper happy and nice to everyone. I used to not let anything bother me and I hardly ever cried. Now I cry a lot and let every little thing bother me. It is a shame really. I would try journal writing to let you get all of your thoughts out. This has really helped me a lot. Just put the past behind you and look forward. You can never recreate the same thing twice so it won't go back to being "perfect" but you can create a "new perfect". Remember how you felt and how you used to talk to people. You can become happy again. GO out to public places and have fun even if you have to go up to people and talk to them. People are usually friendly as long as you are friendly to them! :0 Good luck!!!

[SunAngel]

You know that just someday you will get your life back. With bp disorder it just takes time, and a lot of it, to get on the correct med cocktail.

It has happened to me. I am feeling great, like my old self again. I don't want anyone here to give up. It does get better.

Trust me on this one, okay?

Hi Greysfan... I'm so sorry you you feel bad right now. I don't have Bipolar, but I do have ADD and there are many shared traits. When you get withdrawn I've read how important it is to try and connect with someone. Maybe connecting with a few people here could help ease things for you a bit, then try to connect with someone you are really comfortable with.
I hope things improve for you soon

Hi greysfan, I am sorry you are feeling like this! When we get depressed we tend to think the world is out to get us that people's are bad and we would be better off alone but really that's not the case! Isolating ourselves from the people who love us and care is social suicide. I to have pushed friends away and family they don't even know I have depression and I think they would feel babe that I couldn't trust them enough to tell them but I need to be alone right now! Have you told your doctor how you are feeling I mean maybe he can change one of your meds(if you are on any) or suggest a support group you could attend! I think once you open up to just one person a part of you will come back because. I am sure your friends miss you being the funny one too:-) I hope you start to feel better soon!