Heading toward out of control

I am tarna queen of the tarnaakians, last of my kind

hahahaha.....

Biscuits biscuits pick up truck. Say anything, you're in luck. Dumb dumb Dobby down. There's no need to ever frown. Yippity skipity let's go blue. Gets having a great day to you.
Round and round the dong-dings go. Up on high- to and fro. I'm a dash, I'm a frown, won't you turn me upside down?

Moose, I'm here, a bit late, but I'm finally getting to read the posts. Sorry mania appears to have set in. You have some great creativity going on with your words, though. I'm glad that some PC friends have been around to listen. How was your Starbucks visit? I would love a frappaccino right now, a skinny one of course, even though I'd love a pile of whip cream on top. I'm sitting around feeling awful, too, but mine is stress related.
Bluemountains

this is at the core of bipolar needing to immunise against the reality pandemic.

who or what can stop this personal movement from destructible space into indestructible space

why settle for mortal when death breaks it's own back during the chase

where this little shape does not matter (?)...the question

...cos freedom aint no answer it's an experience

Taarna!!! She never speaks... but if she did...

hehe...

she looks like she wants to say somethin'

like "give me a freakin' bandaid...and then I want to rip your legs off...just for a few minutes...and don't panic if It's longer!"

whats a bandaid???

Mania? True mania?

Starbucks was good. I talked with my friend and used his laptop.

So I don't wanna call pdoc. I don't wanna do what I should. I keep fighting myself . Even my daughter commented. On something I said.

My daughter saw this and thinks its awesome and wants to do it. She's always loved them.

Ok I'm not manic. Just kidding. Yeah that's it. See? I'm standing still. Now dammit that I don't have anybody to have sex with ! Wonder what tomorrow brings.

I don't expect....?

anybody would be writing their lives out here if they... had a sex life

me included...it's eluded...excluded...deluded...un-included

screw it!....it's all most people want to do but reality is not very affectionate...not from where I sit

What's not affectionate?

I don't follOw your point. Sex can be affectionate. I just have nobody to have it with.

I looked up hypomania and mania and it said the difference is psychosis of which I've had paranoia that my mom was plotting against me. She really is. They both do. They hate me and want me to attempt to kill them so I have to go to prison.

Good sex is loving and affectionate, in my book... and lasts longer than 2 minutes.

Moose - if you think you need to call pdoc, then you should call.

Blue I agree with you. I miss sex. Not only do I want it but I miss what I had.

Can only call per/pes at this point. They only care if I'm safe. Not the little details like creative writing and the ability to Bounce like tigger. Yeah I think they're after me but last time I told pes that they were and that my way to defend myself was to harpoon one of them, well they didn't take kindly and wrote it in my chart. Then my T told me I shouldn't have said anything!

Do you think you can ride this out? They Are Not Trying To Kill You, Nor Trying To Get You To Kill Them... do you know this, you need to know this so you can change your thoughts about it? Rationalize it, They may be irritated with your mania, that could be true. You know how it gets, someone manic when you're not.

I thought people could call their pdoc, and say i'm having such and such going on, get increased meds if needed?

Row your time travel gazebo to shore, i'm waiting...
You limit yourself J if you believe reality is unaffectionate, it may often seem, but it is mathematically impossible. I do understand it seems that way from where you sit. But someday you will have the affection you need and deserve, and you will especially enjoy and appreciate it because of the ****** spot you now sit.

It's not the mania. They just start listing everything they hate about me and my kids and then they are mean. In defense I can only want to rid myself of them and they know this so they are meaner and meaner on purpose and nobody on this planet can help me.

If I had my anywhere door I would get you and your kids to a safe home where you don't have to deal with that.

I hope you can get through, Moose. I wish I knew how to get you and your kids away from that.

See? So am I paranoid or just defensive? Or is any of it true at all? I could be delusional.

Took another walk. Was ok. I might be able to sleep. I hope so because I have a drs appointment tomorrow about the ER visit and a blood draw.

Was snippy at someone. Yelled at them for trying to demand I do things- in a passive aggressive way. I will tear your head off.

That's brilliant! Bipolar e-harmony

Swimming far away, swimming through emotions - each distinct yet one piece... The jello that is my mind... All smooth. It is the only consistency in this world. Just miles of jello and me, moving and floating through life. I loves me and I am near suffocation . l. I can breathe on my own now, in this new womb, this love, I swim in its cool embrace ... All mania and sorrow combined and wrapping me in bliss.