I don't want to feel anything

I just want to go numb. The lithium has been helping with that. But I forgot to take it for 2 days, so kind of back to normal. Remembered again this morning (almost forgot but grabbed the bottle and put it in my pocket so I could take to work.) 300 mg seemed to be working, making everything around me muted. Dialing back the rage, the anxiety, sadness, everything.

Now I have this intense anxiety. Intense, like going toward panic attack. I just wish it would kick in faster. Blunt the fear. I should have remembered yesterday and the day before to take it. I don't want to feel right now, I just want to get through it.

It will mute you soon enough I too welcomed that muted feeling at one stage, so I understand what you mean... A hot shower with a really scratchy loofa always calms my anxiety, I hope the mute button is enabled soon so you can carry on about your business remember, the sun will smile on you again

((DH)) Can you just take an extra pill? 300mg is 1 pill right? I'm on 3 a day, which is considered a low dose, but usually only take 1 or 2. Maybe call doc and ask if you can take an extra?

Are you home from work today, can hubby help you? Are you recovering ok from surgery? Haven't talked to you in about a week.

I am considering taking a 2nd pill...

I'm at work. I can't miss because I have no time off, but being home wouldn't help today. I'm recovering just fine after the surgery, doesn't even feel like I had it actually. I am just facing something that really, really scares me. And I keep telling me that this time will be different. Things are different now than they were last year. I keep telling me that, but I'm not really believing it.... I think its a response to the trauma.... So until it's over, I just want to be flat. Last night I tried to drink to make it stop. But alcohol seems to enhance my feelings, not mute them. I guess that whole "drown your sorrows" thing doesn't work for everyone. (Yes, maybe it was a dumb idea, but I was just trying to make it stop.)

No shame in trying, I'd try eating toiletpaper if I thought it could ease back ache... I know its not the same tho you 'll get thru this, hindsight is always 20-20 and you have it this time around... We're here for you,always

Maybe you should call doc and ask for an anti-anxiety med? I think you said you don't like them, but might be better than drinking. And you can take a small amount at work if needed without anyone knowing.

I am surprised that one pill is working. I take three pills. But great, if a low dose is doing the trick, that is wonderful news. I hope you will get muted just enough, as you want it, and not too much. As far as I know Lithium with alcohol is no big deal. If you get an anti-anxiety med, then you will need to be careful about mixing it with alcohol.

Well, some things have happened to help me fight the anxiety. (Hubby helps when he doesn't know, if I tell him he's helping he will mess it up. ) Anyway, I am still nervous but not like I"m going to puke or anythign any more.... I just have to hold on.

Trying to distract myself. I didn't take another pill. I will take it later today maybe. It did actually kick in. I'm actually very sensitive to medicins. For example, non-drowsie cold medicine will knock me for a loop. My allergic medicine list is very long. I'm super sensitive to things like soaps, too. And food. My plan with the lithium is to just be less. Not total zombie. Just less. I know at 1200 mg previously it made me feel like my head was going to explode, but I did really well with it early on, it slows me down and helps me focus and mutes me so I can think a bit, which is why I don't want to go over 600 mg ever.

I might go up to 600 mg anyway. The 300 mg was muting the rage, which was a relief. But if 600 mg can help me focus, I'll do it... See, I can be my own pdoc.... I'm super smart enough.

I also just want to feel numb...

I take 900mg and dont feel numb. Im unsure of what it does. (But it must be working?)

I would not intentionally skip doses on lithium. I am pretty sure I experienced drug withdrawal from lithium when I would skip it all the time. (Back when I first started it)

The easiest way to remember meds is to take them in the same manner. I take lithium right before I sleep and have a kind of ritual around it. If its extended release you can take it at night and it will work during the day.

So, everything went better than expected yesterday. Things are still good today. It's not last year. I keep telling myself that. I have like.... these really intense memories and it's hard to shake them. It's like when you wake up from a nightmare and it's still clinging to you. But, everything is different this time, the way it should have been last year. Last night was a big proof of that.

I think the lithium did kick in a little later. I was mostly calm the whole time. It does numb me, just enough. I remember during the week, it's the weekend that's hard. Weekend my routine is completely different....

I take it in the morning because I don't have the extended release type. Just plain boring old generic.

Sending you lots of comforting sssss Love you stax

The plain one is SO much cheaper.

I feel the same, just need something to numb me...I feel pain both physically and emotionally. Luckily you are on lithium, sadly I'm not...yet.
Good luck <3

Trust me, sweetheart. Not feeling anything at all for pretty much anyone or anything has it's own set of complications. Take it from me.

But good luck on toning it all down!! The most important thing is striking a balance between feeling & having them conquer you.