[Speed3]

As many of you know I have been extremely depressed and suicidal.

Well, my PDOC has finally come on board. He knows it is hard for me to leave the house so we have been talking on the phone.

We talked yesterday and decided on 4 ECT treatments inpatient.
These would be done in my insurance network at a prestigious teaching hospital in Philadelphia, which is a half hour away.

A few days ago I asked my husband if he remembered if the ECTs I had in the past helped. He said yes, especially in the beginning.

Yesterday after I talked to my PDOC, I told him the plan.

Well, he went into a rage. He says to me you don't listen to me or understand. You are not depressed you are lazy and need to get off your a..sss. No way are you going in the hospital or having ECT.

He can be very spiteful and mean when I go against what he says.

I just want to break out of this horrid depression. But if he isn't behind me it could be very very very difficult!

Just need some advice

What he doesn't know is I have 400 mg of Ativan. I refused to continue living like this.

[Pierro]

Hello Speed, I'm sorry to hear that your husband is not on board about the ECT, Maybe in a few days you could bring it up again when he's more calm. It's very difficult to go through something like that especially when it only made your husband get angry. It might be the fact that he's seeing you go through this and is helpless. I know my husband does. Best wishes and good luck.

Would you be open to your pdoc talking to you husband about this? He's probably less likely to blow up at the doctor than he will at you, and it might bring him on board. My T and my Pdoc have had to do this with my husband a couple of times when his own baggage was making it hard to support the treatment I needed. It really did make a HUGE difference.

Originally Posted by Speed3

As many of you know I have been extremely depressed and suicidal.

Well, my PDOC has finally come on board. He knows it is hard for me to leave the house so we have been talking on the phone.

We talked yesterday and decided on 4 ECT treatments inpatient.
These would be done in my insurance network at a prestigious teaching hospital in Philadelphia, which is a half hour away.

A few days ago I asked my husband if he remembered if the ECTs I had in the past helped. He said yes, especially in the beginning.

Yesterday after I talked to my PDOC, I told him the plan.

Well, he went into a rage. He says to me you don't listen to me or understand. You are not depressed you are lazy and need to get off your a..sss. No way are you going in the hospital or having ECT.

He can be very spiteful and mean when I go against what he says.

I just want to break out of this horrid depression. But if he isn't behind me it could be very very very difficult!

Just need some advice

What he doesn't know is I have 400 mg of Ativan. I refused to continue living like this.

Hello Speed3: I would like to suggest that what your husband said to you, under the circumstances, constitutes verbal abuse. Obviously, I don't know anything about your relationship as a whole, but if this is an indication of how your relationship is as a whole, I would suggest that this may be a contributing factor to your depression.

As we all know, depression is an illness & it needs to be treated. You have to take care of yourself first. So, if you've hit bottom, in terms of your depression, I think you need to "damn the torpedos, full speed ahead" with the ECT!

I must say that I've never had ECT, although it has been suggested to me. Sometimes I think I should. My wife would be upset if I told her I was going to do this. But she wouldn't tell me I was lazy & should get up off my ***! She'd just be concerned for my welfare.

Is it possible for your doctor to talk with your husband? I'm sure you've thought of that. It sounds as though your husband needs some educating with regard to major depression. But it sounds like you've been dealing with this for some time. So I presume he has had plenty of opportunity.

Anyway, the way it sounds to me from your post, I would say get yourself into the hospital & have the ECT treatments, hopefully on an in-patient basis. If your husband won't support you in this, perhaps you have a friend or relative who can assist. You're absolutely right to do what you need to do to get out in front of this before it overwhelms you! Please take action!

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

Would you be open to your pdoc talking to you husband about this? He's probably less likely to blow up at the doctor than he will at you, and it might bring him on board. My T and my Pdoc have had to do this with my husband a couple of times when his own baggage was making it hard to support the treatment I needed. It really did make a HUGE difference.

I wanted to add. My T and Pdoc also very much read my husband the riot act if he continued to do what he was doing as far as some of the insults/non-support, etc. went. They kind of firmly had a come to Jesus meeting with him in their very professional, diplomatic way. It worked though.

[Speed3]

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

Would you be open to your pdoc talking to you husband about this? He's probably less likely to blow up at the doctor than he will at you, and it might bring him on board. My T and my Pdoc have had to do this with my husband a couple of times when his own baggage was making it hard to support the treatment I needed. It really did make a HUGE difference.

My PDOC talked to my husband last night. It did not help, it made him more angry.

[Speed3]

Originally Posted by Bedobones

Hello Speed3: I would like to suggest that what your husband said to you, under the circumstances, constitutes verbal abuse. Obviously, I don't know anything about your relationship as a whole, but if this is an indication of how your relationship is as a whole, I would suggest that this may be a contributing factor to your depression.

As we all know, depression is an illness & it needs to be treated. You have to take care of yourself first. So, if you've hit bottom, in terms of your depression, I think you need to "damn the torpedos, full speed ahead" with the ECT!

I must say that I've never had ECT, although it has been suggested to me. Sometimes I think I should. My wife would be upset if I told her I was going to do this. But she wouldn't tell me I was lazy & should get up off my ***! She'd just be concerned for my welfare.

Is it possible for your doctor to talk with your husband? I'm sure you've thought of that. It sounds as though your husband needs some educating with regard to major depression. But it sounds like you've been dealing with this for some time. So I presume he has had plenty of opportunity.

Anyway, the way it sounds to me from your post, I would say get yourself into the hospital & have the ECT treatments, hopefully on an in-patient basis. If your husband won't support you in this, perhaps you have a friend or relative who can assist. You're absolutely right to do what you need to do to get out in front of this before it overwhelms you! Please take action!

We have been married for 30 yrs in September. There have been good times and bad. My husband at the core has a Big heart, although he is rough around the edges.

He has always had a hard time dealing with my depressive episodes. But this is different, more extreme, we are both grieving the loss of our only child Jason who just died in January.

I have just been thinking about who could drive me down to Philadelphia. I need to pack, too. My energy level is 0.

I am scared about the fall out if I go down there with out him knowing. He can get crazy with his spitefulness.

[Speed3]

I just talked to my husband at work.

He says he is ok (for now), with me doing the 4 ECTs inpatient.

But, now he is arguing about having to go through their ER to be admitted. Can't DR. W call ahead, he says. DR. W is not on staff there I told him.

Also, another kink the nurse on the inpatient unit told me you can only have ECT if 'they' deem it necessary. I hope they will take my PDOC's word for it.

This all seems so hard

I wouldn't worry about them vetoing your doctor's recommendation; probably pretty unlikely. They probably say that because of patients who might be asking for it on their own without a doctor's actual input.

As far as the ER goes, if your husband is just so impatient that he won't sit in the ER with you, just tell him to drop you off with your suitcase and do it on your own. I've actually done that a couple of times and it was actually less stressful for me because I only had ME to deal with.

[comicgeek007]

(((((((Speed)))))))))!

Personally, I am scared ****less of the idea of ECT, but if it's worked for you in the past, and your Dr. is recommending it, your husband needs to suck it up. If he's being this spiteful and unreasonable, then an inpatient stay away from him might help. It was always easier for me to get help when I wasn't with my mother.

I've posted to you privately, Speed.

I would add here that you'll be in good hands, so try to relax and let somebody on
another staff be of help. They will know exactly how to manage the situation.

Take care and keep it touch as you feel you the need. We're all here listening and
giving ideas, I hope, that will help.

You're on the road to recovery now.

[squishygoboom]

Your husband sounds a bit like my mother--wants the best for you, but has a weird way of showing it sometimes. She took me to the hospital, but while I was there, asked me how my "mini vacation" was going. I ended up ignoring her. She tells me all the time that I'm just lazy. I still ignore her. I'm going to do what I think is best for myself.

[BlueInanna]

Oh speed dear it's like everyone wants to be the boss of everyone else in this situation. They are making it more difficult than it needs to be. My advice -

Agree with your husband it's absurd you have to go through ER (it is really absurd and waste of time, but you may just have to follow their stupid rules on this one)

Agree with intake nurse that their doc will have to deem it necessary or not (they will likely agree your pdoc's assessment, this is a well know bp depression treatment that has worked for you in the past. This intake nurse is just having a little power trip over you because who cares it's her personal attitude problem)

Just get there, give hubby a hug, tell him you love him.
These kinks will get worked out, and it sounds like help is on the way.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so glad you are finally getting the help you need.

I'll be out in the morning, Speed, on some errands but will be home by noon if you need to reach me. I was late getting back to you this afternoon because I was out until about 4:30 P.M.

Thinking about you and hoping everything falls into place calmly for you on this.

It may just be the answer to help you make it through the difficult time and lead
you to desire to do things again that are helpful and constructive in your life.

How are you tonight?

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Agree with your husband it's absurd you have to go through ER (it is really absurd and waste of time, but you may just have to follow their stupid rules on this one)

It has been explained to me that in order to be admitted (in Texas) to a psych unit, you have to have been seen by a medical doctor within 3 days prior to admission (not sure how different states work).

Thus, my pdoc tries to have me come to his office before I head to the hospital. That way, I meet the 3-day rule and since he heads the psych unit at the hospital, he can just call in his orders and I can go directly to admission and bypass the ER.

But if it is after hours, I have to go through the ER which isn't horrible (this hospital is excellent with psych admissions), but it just takes forever.

On one occasion, he actually met me outside the psych unit doors for a few minutes and then went in to write his orders and I didn't have to go to the ER that way. He only did that the most recent admission, but he's a great pdoc and does all he can to make admissions as hassle-free as possible (which is probably an oxymoron - hassle-free admission. Yup, oxymoron).

[kaliope]

well it sounds like you already have your answer, but think about it, you were considering ending your life with Ativan if you didn't get treatment. perhaps hubby is projecting his anger and grief onto you. doesn't want to see you get better and leave him alone in his misery. just a thought. good luck in the hospital. I hope that it is as successful as last time.

[vjdragonfly]

Speed you are in a very difficult place. You really need to take care of yourself first and foremost. I hope all works out in the end and you pull out of this deep depression.

[Speed3]

Well, just my luck !

The Psyc unit does not take my insurance, neither does the PDOC who does the ECT.

We have MLH BC/BL personal choice, MLH is made up of 4 suburban hospitals, which are all owned by Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia. All the suburban hospitals are covered. What I found out yesterday is only some departments at Jefferson take the MLH insurance, the Psyc unit does not. The doc that does the ECT does not take MLH insurance.

There is one Psyc unit at one of the MLH hospitals. This is where I go, and it is covered 100 %. Only thing is they don't do ECT.

So there is no where I can go where my insurance will cover ECT treatments. Having just paid 20,000 for my sons funeral, our savings are dry. I can't afford the high out of network deductible and 30% co payments.

Originally Posted by Speed3

Well, just my luck !

The Psyc unit does not take my insurance, neither does the PDOC who does the ECT.

We have MLH BC/BL personal choice, MLH is made up of 4 suburban hospitals, which are all owned by Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia. All the suburban hospitals are covered. What I found out yesterday is only some departments at Jefferson take the MLH insurance, the Psyc unit does not. The doc that does the ECT does not take MLH insurance.

There is one Psyc unit at one of the MLH hospitals. This is where I go, and it is covered 100 %. Only thing is they don't do ECT.

So there is no where I can go where my insurance will cover ECT treatments. Having just paid 20,000 for my sons funeral, our savings are dry. I can't afford the high out of network deductible and 30% co payments.

Because your insurance company doesn't have a facility that does ECT treatment (which I am assuming is covered by your insurance), it may be they will have to find a way to cover the treatment at the out-of-network facility with the in network benefits. I'd be getting on the phone with your employer's (I"m assuming your insurance is through work) liason for the insurance company and get them to fight to get the ECT covered. If this if private insurance, I'm not sure what the protocol is for fighting these kind of issues, but there may be one. We've come up against similar problems with doctors/hospitals for my husbands' medical issues, but because our insurance is through our employer, they have always gone to battle for us and found a way to work it out with insurance making special arrangements as we had no in network options.

Ugh. So frustrating to run in to so many barriers to getting help. I am so sorry this is so difficult.

So-oo-oo-o sorry, Speed. But there are other alternatives. Talk to your
psychiatrist about treatment with Ketamine or possibly Deplin. Never
give up.

Take care.

Deplin did absolutely nothing for my severe depression, and it won't do much if you aren't really having problems on the folate end. It seems to be more helpful with more mild to moderate persistent depression than with really severe depression.

[catsrhelm]

I would go ahead with the treatment. How can you have a happy marriage, when you are not happy? Also it sounds like to me he is coming around a little bit, so he may just need more time. Also, are you seeing a psychiatrist or therapist? You may want to give either one a shot.

[Speed3]

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

Because your insurance company doesn't have a facility that does ECT treatment (which I am assuming is covered by your insurance), it may be they will have to find a way to cover the treatment at the out-of-network facility with the in network benefits. I'd be getting on the phone with your employer's (I"m assuming your insurance is through work) liason for the insurance company and get them to fight to get the ECT covered. If this if private insurance, I'm not sure what the protocol is for fighting these kind of issues, but there may be one. We've come up against similar problems with doctors/hospitals for my husbands' medical issues, but because our insurance is through our employer, they have always gone to battle for us and found a way to work it out with insurance making special arrangements as we had no in network options.

Ugh. So frustrating to run in to so many barriers to getting help. I am so sorry this is so difficult.

Yes I was thinking about this. I am trying to find the energy to make the phone calls. It was hard just getting my husband to say ok, I know he won't make any phone calls for me

Keep you posted and thank you

I just checked online for ketamine use in medication-resistant depression. It's much improved over the years and doctors are getting good results.

There is a Ketamine clinic at Drexel University in Philadelphia. Dr. Schwartzman is in charge, and a contact doctor named Dr. Getson may be reached at 586-983-7246. They have in-patient and out-patient treatment scheduling.
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I would add to my statement about Deplin that research indicates 70% of depressed patients are lacking in the ability to convert folic acid into folate because of missing enzymes in patients. Genetic testing is the prescrbed way to go, but it can be used as an adjunct to prescribed meds and is not harmful. In fact, it's called a "med food" (about $20. per month and requires a med prescription).