confused!

ok I have no idea what to do and I need some honest advice! I have recently been diagnosed bipolar on top of other things and was on meds for about 4months when I decided to quit because shrink was messing with my meds and not listening to the side effects so I stopped them all about 2 month ago. I am not taking anything now but friends on here and some friends from church who know me think I need to go back on something... others are saying that I can do it without....I keep aiming towards starting the lithium (since my reg dr gave me a script 2 months ago) but then something stops me!!!! I don't know wht to do and I know some of this is repeated but I am so lost, confused, thoughts racing, deep depressions and yes probably suicidal too....some of my non bipolar friends are so frustrated with trying to help me that I have basically been leaving them alone and have gone back into my shell like a turtle!!!! They are saying I just NEED to snap out of it!!!!!! I wish I could!! I could through an hour or 2 here and there trying to make myself have energy and get laundry and things done but yet I never finish them!!!! I don't know!!! it would be so easy to just say the hey with this entire fight!!!!
Please if you have sarcastic or negative repiles to say, just keep them to yourself because it only makes me feel worse....the one I am talking about has made me thing about not even posting this!!! anyways maybe I should not have include this last part but then again I have nothing to lose at this point!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did you quit your meds?

as I said above: my shrink was not listening to me about the side effects I was having with Cymbalta and wanted to take me off the lithium instead which I feel was kind of helping... I know my body!! so I gave up and quit them all!!!!

I think first and for most you need to see a Pdoc not a regular GP.. GP's just do not know enough about mental illness and medications to be effective. Yes it does take longer to get in to see a pdoc , but seems the most logical choice. I am sorry your are feeling so overwhelmed and upset and rightly so.

Personally for me I can not take any AD's as they all just flip me right into an ugly mania.

I hope you can find a pdoc that can get you in sooner rather than later, Things can and will improve , it just takes time.

Keep posting here and hopefully the support you receive will help carry your though until you get into a pdoc and can start to sort out a treatment plan.

Stay safe

You can't snap out of it. Get online and research Pdocs in your area. Find some that others are rating well and start calling for appointments. It's a slow process, but it's worth hanging in there. I'm with Christina, a GP doesn't know enough to be prescribing for BP.

Your friends are not helping you at all in telling you to snap out of it. Can a person with diabetes just snap out of it? No, they can't. Why? Because it's caused by real physical chemical disruption in your body and that's exactly the same for bipolar. You can learn coping skills and such, but you don't just "snap out of" depression or mania.

Next, I agree you should see a new psychiatrist as soon as you are able. I think you did the right thing firing the one who wouldn't listen to you. Lithium works fine for me, but some people it doesn't work as well. I'm currently not on it because I can't go in to get my levels checked regularly. (and I'm trying to show my cognitive functioning decline is not caused by meds.) If you get that Rx filled, make sure you go in to have your levels checked as needed until you can get a pdoc.

The first thing I can tell you is that depression drops a big, dark cloud on you. It's like a mist and you can't see clearly when you're inside of it. Please take care of yourself as best you can. You may think you have nothing to lose right now, but that is the lies of depression whispering in your ear. You're a good person and you deserve to get well. Be forgiving of yourself for now. When you are able to do laundry or whatever, be proud of yourself. If you are not able, then that's okay. Things will get better soon.

And remember, you're not alone. All of us here have been through depression hell.

Thank you everyone for the support!!! My problem now is that I cannot find another shrink in the area that takes my insurance!!! The couple I did find put me on a waiting like but I NEED HELP NOW ,I think!!!

Do you have out of network options? I know it's more expensive, but it could be the right solution while you wait for the in network appt.

Actually I have Medicare and Medicaid

I went through this EXACT same thing, I 100% know the feeling. I called about 4 or 5 different pdocs (some were complete offices with several doctors on staff) in about mid January and at the time the SOONEST one could see me would have been in June.

I was able to find a psychologist that in turn gave me a referral which INCREDIBLY sped up the process. It still took about 6 weeks after the referral, but it was an intensely better option that 6 MONTHS. I think therapists might be able to give you a referral also and many therapists can get you in within the same week.

Either way, the therapy would be a great place to start. I KNOW the feeling of "Yes... I know my body and I know I need meds and just need to see a pdoc like NOW" and it's beyond frustrating. Or maybe see your GP for a referral if possible.

Here is a option .. If you really get in a bind and you need a pdoc right now .. the best way to get one is go to the er and have a break down there, thoughts of self harm,su etc .. a pdoc will come in evaluate you and may even reccomend a 3 days inpatient stay just to help get you stable , when you are discharged you will have an appointment already scheduled with a Pdoc usually within 2 weeks .

Maybe that sounds extreme , but sometimes its the fastest easiest getting treatment and on your way to feeling better.

To add: in this case you can call your county's department of family services (they may call it something different in your area) and they should be able to get you a list of doctors that accept medicaid/medicare. In my county there was special offices run directly through the medicaid program and they got me in pretty fast.

First and foremost please do not give up...its frustrating I know but I agree with Christina, find a PDoc. Lithium does help a lot of people, especially in the beginning b/c its fast acting. It helped to ground me. I have found over the years with so many med changes what works for me and just know that it will take time. Be patient with yourself. The ones telling you that you can just snap out of it, well I tried that route and I don't suggest it. When I feel depressed and frustrated I keep a daily list of some things I need to do for the day, make them simple and check them off. Even getting one thing accomplished makes me feel better than sitting and spinning. Baby steps is how I've made it, and some days still do
Please take care of yourself

Thanks Nessa but believe it or not I am having a problem finding one of the too! I did check with my minister at church and he gave me the name of a place so I just emailed them...see what that answer will be!!

It took me numerous different trials on different meds, different doses for about six years before we finally found the combination that works for me. And it is still good!

Write notes about what you want to tell your doctor. Side effects, moods, whatever is on your mind. It is easier to stay on track and say what you want to say to your doc if your are prepared. Also write any questions.

Explore other things you can do to improve. Vitamin B, omega 3 fatty acids, a balanced diet with moderate exercise. And be patient. It does take time to find what works but don't give up.

You know God's I guess that is why I always left the proc office frustrated because I always forgot to ask her things or tell her situations and then I had to wait again to talk with her for another 2 weeks with meds THAT were either messing messing up or not working!! Thank you I will have to remember that if I ever find one!!

Stupid spell check!!!! That last post is supposed to say thank you Yoda!! Not Gods