[bipolarOne79]

As some of you may know I have been having a hard time with depression lately. It's been going on for weeks now with no sign of relief. I talked with my psychiatrist over the phone and she doubled my anti depressant Prozac to 80mg. I am on other meds as well but she didn't adjust those.

My psych said that if I don't feel any better by Monday to call her again, but that seems so far away right now when I feel like this. All I want to do is sleep and be left alone by everyone around me. I have had some thoughts on how things would be better if I ended it all. My wife has mentioned that maybe I need to go into the hospital again. But who wants to go into the hospital? I know that it might be the best for me but I don't want to go.

I started my new dose of Prozac on Wednesday so maybe I can just wait it out. It's just so hard, I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I feel so alone in this but part of that is my fault because I am isolating myself from everyone. I want to get better I just don't know how to go about it.

I guess I just want to know that I am not alone and maybe some advice to on the hospital, I don't think it's even been a year since I was in last. Thanks for reading all of this sorry for the rant.

[comicgeek007]

It's been less than three months since I was in and it's seemed like the best idea recently. Thinks are getting better now, so I'm not gonna go, but you're definitely not alone!

[~Christina]

It's hard to look at the big picture when feeling like you do, I was inpatient 3 times in 9 weeks.

Medication takes time to work.

If your feeling suicidal then you should go inpatient. It's scarey but you will be safe from harm

The last 2 things I will just toss out there.
1. If you have children and you commit a suicide they are a 50%( According to my T) greater risk of doing the same.
2. If you have any life insurance policys.. they are all null and void. You may leave your loved ones in a financial disaster.

The last may seem extreme , But it was an eye opener for me.

I hope you make the right choices for you and your loved ones.

I don't mean to offend you or anyone else reading this threat.

Stay safe

[optimitic2the-end]

My spouse has been hospitalized recently for what sounds like a very similar situation within the last 2 months. the most important thing is for you to know that you are NOT alone. I know a little bit how hopeless and painful it feels when the depression gets that bad. It can feel like torture, and isolating only adds to the pain. Please consider going to the emergency room - it is most important that you are safe and get some relief from the anguish. It is hard to make decisions when you feel so crappy, but you are reaching out for help, and that shows strength and insight. No matter what, you are valuable and worthy of happiness! Keep up the good fight.

[bipolarOne79]

Just wanted to say thanks for the responses. I am calling my psych tomorrow and see what she recommends. Thanks for the support.

[EBD8]

Wishing u all the best asap. My last episode of depression lasted 8 months and I got out of the hospital May 9th. I really didn't have a support system in place at the time and what I did have I didn't want to burden them so I ended up in the hospital and felt so ashamed for my weakness. What I wanted MOST was to know that I was not ALONE. I felt so much comfort there knowing that I wasn't a total loser and didn't deserve to feel the way I did. They were excellent with reassurance and the ppl I met there were super to. If posting here helps in any way then do it. You are not alone my friend. You are not alone.

[vjdragonfly]

How are you doing now? The thing with depression is the wicked demon will make you feel that things will never get better. That there is no hope and the feeling of being tired of fighting. You just have to decide where you are at in the fight. If you are feeling like you are losing the battle then it might be best to get some help. There is always hope and things can (WILL) get better at some point. I hope this pain passes soon .

[wildflowerchild25]

The hospital offers respite when things are too much to deal with. I would only go when my suicidal thoughts were too much to take, but if you are crushed by depression it's not a bad idea, especially if you do feel so hopeless. I hope you feel better soon. You are most definitely not alone.

[bipolarOne79]

Originally Posted by EBD8

Wishing u all the best asap. My last episode of depression lasted 8 months and I got out of the hospital May 9th. I really didn't have a support system in place at the time and what I did have I didn't want to burden them so I ended up in the hospital and felt so ashamed for my weakness. What I wanted MOST was to know that I was not ALONE. I felt so much comfort there knowing that I wasn't a total loser and didn't deserve to feel the way I did. They were excellent with reassurance and the ppl I met there were super to. If posting here helps in any way then do it. You are not alone my friend. You are not alone.

I feel the same, I am ashamed of my depression part of bipolar. Actually I'm ashamed of it all. Except here where everyone understands me. I have been in the hospital many times and its nice to be around people who are like you so you know you're not alone. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in this.

[bipolarOne79]

Originally Posted by vjdragonfly

How are you doing now? The thing with depression is the wicked demon will make you feel that things will never get better. That there is no hope and the feeling of being tired of fighting. You just have to decide where you are at in the fight. If you are feeling like you are losing the battle then it might be best to get some help. There is always hope and things can (WILL) get better at some point. I hope this pain passes soon .

I am still feeling bad. Don't want to fight this battle anymore. I would be better off not around and my family would be under much less stress if I wasn't around. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel and don't know if I ever will. Sorry for being such a downer. I do appreciate your concern.

[Darth Bane]

bipolarOne79, for us everyday is battle, every minute we spend not doing anything bad is success, i know how it feels isolating, in dark room, taking only one time meal everyday, but what can we do... just fight it everyday, and as you know suddenly after weeks or perhaps months suddenly there is light at the end of tunnel... nothing changes except the way you look at the world but till then what else can we do but try to survive...

[pink&grey]

I felt like this Just three weeks ago. It was the most depressed I've ever been and I've had many many episodes over the years. I hung in there though and slowly the meds pulled me out. The meds and a ton of rest. Honestly, I probably would have been better in a hospital but even without it I made it. You can too and you will. Do what your heart tells you and hang in there. Hugs!!

[bipolarOne79]

I talked with my psych today and she added an anti depressant to the mix so I'm going to try and hang in there and see what happens. Thanks for all the hugs and support, it's a relief knowing I am not alone and that you all understand me. Thank you

My T called me today after I sent him an e-mail. I was shocked he called me, but kind of happy at the same time. I've been really struggle lately, and we discussed inpatient options. I'm going to meet him tomorrow afternoon to discuss it further. I know he doesn't want to put me inpatient unless I'm a danger to myself or others, but I'm of the opinion that until I can get this episode under control, that might be the best avenue.

So, in other words I call my T or e-mail him when I'm scared of myself.

[sugahorse1]

I think inpatient is very useful and not just to keep you safe. It makes the process a little easier and less painful (if I can put it that way) as you don't have to suffer the darkness on your own. The meds can be amended and you are also surrounded by people that are going through the same as you that you can share with

[Mr. Radio]

I've felt like that. Not wanting to do much and isolating my self. Thinking I'm not worth much. Not wanting to say much when I'm around other people. Feeling slowed down. Yea, depression sucks and it's hard to get out of. I was depressed for the last 5 months. What kept me going was finding things to do to keep my mind busy. It can be walking a dog, taking a shower, watching some TV shows, playing a video game, going to work, starting up a hobby, or getting together with friends (they can be very supportive). Best advice is to try and stay active. I finally came out of my depression and it's a world of difference. Good luck to you, hope you come out of it and feel relieved.