[Nessa213]

I've been going back and forth on whether or not I think therapy is working for me at all, if I should find a new therapist, or if I should stop going completely. (Flip flopping... it's what I do!)

I just flat out don't like the guy I'm seeing. I mean he's nice and all, but I'm just all skeeved out that I'm supposed to spill my deepest darkest secrets to someone I A.) don't know very well and B.) is my dads age and feel like I'd just be judged as a "disappointment" (if that makes sense).

Also I really think sometimes... like... why? What if this is just how I'm supposed to be? I know how to live and take care of myself and (in general) I cope kind of sort of ok. I don't need someone to talk down to me like a child and I don't need someone to sit there and pretend like they care.

You know what, I KNOW I'm a manic shopper. I get it. Accept it. Embrace it even. I've come to terms. I don't know if any amount of therapy would ever get me to change my perspective in those moments. Those moments are real, justified, right... and they just don't feel "manic". I can't talk myself down from a ledge that I don't even know I'm on. That's how I see my bipolar. I'm constantly on a ledge... and you know who talks me down? My friends. My husband. Even my daughter even though she might not know it. Not a therapist. So what is the point?

[Miswimmy1]

If you feel like the therapist is not helping you, and you do not like him, then I would definately find someone else. Maybe not quit therapy entirely, but find someone who fits better.

[middlepath]

I found it useful to work out of a therapy book...I choose DBT for bipolar and feel like it is really effective. I am also going to start going to a group, but for now im flying solo : ) and loving it. I can take things at my own pace and i can even go to therapy in my PJ's, woo hoo! not sure if the self-guided version is something that might be helpful for you, but i am liking it.

[~Christina]

Therapy isn't for everyone. If this guy creeps you , maybe find someone more fitting age wise.. The first Therapist I saw a couple years ago was a woman and flighty and annoying and useless to me on every level ! I complained , The head of the group called me and I saw him and it was an instant "click"

Therapists are not a one size fits all.

Or you can stop Therapy and see how things go .

It is your life . You decide what you want and need . There is no right or wrong way to live ones life Bipolar or not.
Hugs~

[bluemountains]

I would definitely search for another therapist if I was in your situation. Actually, I have done so when my last one wasn't a fit for me. In my situation, therapy helps, but that doesn't mean it is for everyone.
Bluemountains

[bunnifoo]

If you're therapist makes you uncomfortable then find a new one! I had a therapist who I didn't click with, we just always seemed to be talking at odds and then he got a perm. And it looked weird. Like Steve from Bloom County comic strip in his "Alan Alda" phase. I could barely look at him, luckily he knew things weren't clicking and suggested someone else.

If you want to "break up" with your therapist there's the , "It's not you, it's me" version, "I'm not sure why I but I really don't think we are clicking and I need to find a new therapist." Then you can see if he has recommendations or look on your own.

There's the truth, "You remind me of my father and therefore it's really uncomfortable for me to open up to you, I'd like to find another therapist."

And then there's the way I have handled things - leave and never go back without a word. "Um, my schedule is kinda weird so.... I'll call and schedule." or if it's scheduled either 1) don't show up (this usually costs money I don't advise it) or call the office and let the front office person know you are cancelling "I have to cancel and I'm not sure when I can reschedule. I'll call back".

Or call and leave a voicemail that 1) you are cancelling the appointment or 2) you aren't coming back.

If he makes you really really stressful I'd go with either cancelling the appointment or leaving a message.

[vjdragonfly]

Nessa to save from repeating it yes I agree with everyone else. Honestly I have been in therapy since I was a child and really didn't know useless it was until I found my last therapist. She got me to see the world in a whole different perspective, one in which I could care more for myself. She never made me feel judged even when I was judging myself. She was my support that I never had, probably never will again, but she helped me stand for me and do what is good for me (not selfishly). So go through as many as you have to till you find the one that clicks.

[jesusplay]

I hate therapy, After I went through 2 therapist over a year and read the notes they took, they either weren't listening to me or just like to make up stories?

EX:

told the therapist about me getting an award at work, "I didn't care, I got the award, I stared at it, then threw it in the backseat of my car. It's pointless and doesn't matter, everyone wants this and I thought I did at one point in my life."

Therapist wrote: pt received award and was very pleased with himself.

WTF?

I prefer women as therapist but I feel they play mind games to well.

[Victoria'smom]

Please find another therapist, figure out your goals for therapy so you know how to track progress. this stricks very close to home for me:

you know who talks me down? My friends. My husband. Even my daughter even though she might not know it. Not a therapist. So what is the point?

I have trouble remembering it's not my loved ones job and because it's not there job it causes tension and they suck at it. We have been told several times let them (MH professionals) do there jobs. You have to remember your family is usually to close to the situation to see a crisis. If anything happened to you it's not fair for them to shoulder the "blame".

[sugahorse1]

Have you tried a female therapist? I don't think I'd be comfortable around a male therapist to begin with

[Nessa213]

At the very least I listened to the overwhelming suggestion to not go see my current guy any more. I had an appointment with him today. I just pulled something that I classically do and did a WAY passive aggressive thing: I called the office really early before they opened and left a message cancelling the appointment today.

Classic me.

I did a "I may or may not be able to answer my phone, but my number is....."

At this point, I almost don't even care if I get billed. Almost... I mean it would still suck.

I'm calling a new place later today. There's a hospital in my area that does both in the same place and they have really awesome reviews from everything I've seen. When I started on this whole process of finding a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist the only reason I avoided that place was because it was a hospital (a hospital well-known locally for psych care). So in my mind it would have been like admitting defeat...

Sigh.

I'm still admitting defeat... it's just 6 months later.

[A Red Panda]

I'd be doing the same thing.... I am terrible at confrontation and view a lot of things as confrontation that really aren't! I hope you will find a new therapist who you click with!

[Nessa213]

I just sent a request to the hospital I want to go to. We'll see when they get back to me. (If they get back to me.) It was this weird online "hey, fill out this form with your name and address and we'll call you".

Not even a box to fill out why you want to go see them. I'm hoping these reviews I see online weren't lying to me.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so glad that you canceled and contacted another place with good reviews. I hope they call today

[almostthere]

Hi Verdana!

I was in therapy for fourteen years and found that I was not getting any better. I was diagnosed with MDD, (Major Depressive Disorder).

Eventually I stopped going. However, I had something that happened in my life that challenged me both physically and emotionally to the point that I had to go back to therapy and give it another try. Believe me u are not alone.

Anyway, I suggest that u look for another T until u find one that's a goodf fit. Don't judge a T by their age but rather by what they can do to help you get better.

Hope this advise helps..

good wishes for u...

"almostthere"

Originally Posted by Nessa213

I've been going back and forth on whether or not I think therapy is working for me at all, if I should find a new therapist, or if I should stop going completely. (Flip flopping... it's what I do!)

I just flat out don't like the guy I'm seeing. I mean he's nice and all, but I'm just all skeeved out that I'm supposed to spill my deepest darkest secrets to someone I A.) don't know very well and B.) is my dads age and feel like I'd just be judged as a "disappointment" (if that makes sense).

Also I really think sometimes... like... why? What if this is just how I'm supposed to be? I know how to live and take care of myself and (in general) I cope kind of sort of ok. I don't need someone to talk down to me like a child and I don't need someone to sit there and pretend like they care.

You know what, I KNOW I'm a manic shopper. I get it. Accept it. Embrace it even. I've come to terms. I don't know if any amount of therapy would ever get me to change my perspective in those moments. Those moments are real, justified, right... and they just don't feel "manic". I can't talk myself down from a ledge that I don't even know I'm on. That's how I see my bipolar. I'm constantly on a ledge... and you know who talks me down? My friends. My husband. Even my daughter even though she might not know it. Not a therapist. So what is the point?

[Nessa213]

I called the "new" place... (aka: the local hospital known for psych care)... and they were able to get me in 8 weeks from now.

They were literally a last resort. (Psychiatrists around here are shocking rare... probably because they all work at this hospital.) But the doctor I'm seeing has amazing reviews. Like 5 out of 5 stars and multiple reviews.

Part of me still feels like I'm admitting defeat. Like I'm voluntarily walking into the psych ward.

Or like when you're on a diet but gain weight so you have to buy the size larger in pants. I mean you're excited to get new pants, but still disappointed a little bit.

Originally Posted by Nessa213

I called the "new" place... (aka: the local hospital known for psych care)... and they were able to get me in 8 weeks from now.

They were literally a last resort. (Psychiatrists around here are shocking rare... probably because they all work at this hospital.) But the doctor I'm seeing has amazing reviews. Like 5 out of 5 stars and multiple reviews.

Part of me still feels like I'm admitting defeat. Like I'm voluntarily walking into the psych ward.

Or like when you're on a diet but gain weight so you have to buy the size larger in pants. I mean you're excited to get new pants, but still disappointed a little bit.

I see my therapist at a hospital, It is probably a lot different in the US but here it is common, My therapist is lovely and she is very good.

I wish you luck

[Victoria'smom]

The P ER unit is literally to the left of my T's office I could take 20 steps and be there. If that's not bad enough she does all the evals for the local ER too. It really freaked me out at first but knowing I wont be transferred to a new team because of hospitalization has become very comforting.

Your not admitting defeat your looking for the best and it happens to be at a very large office others refer to as a hospital.

[pink&grey]

Can him and get a new one. I've seen at least a dozen therapists and some of them were awful. But some were amazing. Don't judge the whole thing on this one guy. And, I agree with others, females work better for females. It's the one gal to gal relationship where the other girl isn't judging you

I don't know what I'd do without my therapist, but I don't have the support it sounds like you do.