[sadkoala]

I was manic last week for about 4 or 5 days it felt great!! But the last few days I have felt worse than I ever have. I saw my psychiatrist this morning and I told her I was suicidal and she said that was ok but I couldn't use her pills she has perscribed me to try to kill myself because she would get into trouble, am I the only one that thinks that is wrong? I asked for help but I didn't get it and I know I will try to within a couple of days which would be the 3rd time in the last few months. I hope this time I actually hope I die because I hate the way I feel and nobody cares if I die or not. I just want it to all just go away!

[xxemogurlxx]

I'm sorry that you feel that way, but i bet things will get better for you. Since you were happy before what says that you will never be again? And even though living may seem pointless you should still go one because you don't want to be a statistic (as in how every 19 minutes in the US alone sumone will have killed themself). Life is for the taking, it is what you make it. If you don't like it than it's up to you to make it better. Sumtimes I wish I could listen to my own advice because I contemplate suicide at least everyday even when I am happy and i tell you i'm still here so obviously i could get through it. So please try hard and if you want to talk about it more you can PM me anytime. And though you may not beleive it, there is a lot of people who care if you die or not and will feel really horrible if you do and blame it on themselves, which is not a nice guilt trip to leave on anyone. So please reconsider and think over any ideas of suicide that you might have. Talk to sumone or call a suicide hotline. just anything but hurt yourself. I'm sure you can get through this. *Hugs*

[DaveyJones]

Hi, sadkoala...

I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad...I remember when I felt that bad, almost exactly a year ago. That's when I joined PC, too...there are some really great people here, and they helped me to do what I needed to do to start getting better. I was SO scared...I came within about a second of crashing my car...I went home instead, and somehow found this place, and I've been getting better ever since!

I'm kind of surprised at what your pdoc told you...I would expect them to suggest that you check yourself in to the hospital if you're serious about suicide. If you really think you could do this, you need to go to the ER ASAP...I know that's scary, too, but you just really have to. You've tried several times already...please just go to the emergency room, I'm really worried about you.

~Hugs~
DJ

[biplol]

I think what your doc told you sucks!
But, maybe she was she trying to test you, the thing is, nobody knows how serouis we can be until we actully do what we said we would do.
I can see that you are seroiusly talking and I wish I could tell you how sad that makes me feel.
I don't know you at all but I feel your pain, and I think that counts, don't you think?
Please keep me updated, I want to know what is going on, and yes, I care if you die or not.

[darkeyes]

I agree with what the members are telling you, if you are feeling like this, and your pdoc is being an ***, please seek professional attention from another pdoc or call the hotline.
I hope this experience with this pdoc, will never turn you off towards future help. This was most unfortunate you had come across a pdoc with such a poor attitude.
I'm glad you took time to come and talk with the members here.
I don't know if this matters, but I have been a very similar place. I sought help, and have continued with seeing a pdoc and taking the meds. that work for me, it took awhile working with the pdoc and different meds.
Please, try to be patient, I feel confident things can work out.
Again, if these feelings are there to suicide, PLEASE SEEK IMMEDIATE help.
Take care now,
DE

I, too, have "been there" & had several suicide attempts when I was younger. A month ago I overdosed (not sure if it was a suicide attempt or just wanting a release from the emotional pain I was in). My husband found me & took me to the ER. I don't remember much of it cuz I blacked out, but even though I'm still somewhat depressed I'm glad I am still here.

I'm continuing to seek help with medication & I went to see my therapist.

I hope you took the good advice given here & know that we do care about you.

[HALLIEBETH87]

*hugs* I hope things get better for you. In the meantime, I think you should seek immediate help. I understand (have been through it twice) how scray it is to go to an ER, but at least there you can get help. I would disregard what your psych said and pursue help elsewhere. *sneezes* "ER!" Go ahead and get it over with....its worth it!

[hillbunnyb]

))))))) ) )sadkoala ((((((( (( it moves, hang in there. your therapist's comment offended me. i hope you can find a more tuned in soul to bare your soul to.. you deserve the best.

[dottie]

Wow! The first thing my psychiatrist asks me during visits is if I am feeling suicidal. I said yes once and she said to check myself into the psych ward...right THEN..or she would call the police and have them take me there. I checked myself in. My meds were changed and a week later I was allowed to go home.

I have one brother who took his own life 2 years ago. The worst tho was when my one remaing brother fatally&
accidently OD'd early last Friday morning.

Please take care of yourself. If you EVER feel suicidal..please be upfront with your Doc and get help. Life IS worth living. It truly is.

Take GOOD care!
dottie