[Rrancher]

boyfriend said I couldn't lose weight because of I didn't spend time with him I would just sit on the couch and eat. but he, who is out of work and alone all day, is depressed and just wants to drink beer when I get home. I can't wake up in time to exercise in the morning, so I want to exercise when I get home. so I either try to make him feel better or" ignore" him. I feel like I can't win. I decided I am going to do what I want, I'm just nervous I will alienate him. that sucks so much. so much.

[usehername]

Feel crappy. SO has fallen off the face of the earth which isn't helping much.

Feeling physically ill today with a cold. Kind of tired, which I was feeling because of depression already. My main goal is to make it to my hair appointment. Then if I want to crash, so be it. Waiting, waiting, waiting for Prozac to take effect!

[tigersassy]

Feeling all over the place. I'm freaking out. I don't feel like my thoughts are my own. I just want to be in control of me and my thoughts. Too much energy to feel like this.

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[Blue_Bird]

I may end up going inpatient again, who knows

[pepperlynne]

In pain. Heart ache over a recent argument with my husband. Yet at the same time, I feel free and happy- ready for an adventure!!!!

[Phoenix_1]

Glad to be going home today. Too many people here.

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[gayleggg]

I felt a little better today and it's a good thing. They called and had my tombstone ready to set up, like today. So I had to take off work to go show them where I wanted it. It goes right beside my mother, so it was not the best place for me to be during the middle of a workday, since I still greatly grieve for my parents, especially my mother. We got it set where I wanted it and without a tear. I'm afraid that will come later. But I'm glad I have it taken care of so my daughter won't have to deal with it.

I feel great today moodwise, a little tired though but thats to be expected. I got really paranoid last night, was thinking there were cameras watching me and feeling guilt for growling at the animals when they didnt behave. I was convinced that the dinner I made was going to make me sick and felt really ill for a long time which lead on to feeling panicky. My partner was able to talk me down from it getting too bad. It was really bizarre to be that paranoid with no triggering event, not even the use of drugs or alcohol. I have, however been drinking a bit more over the holiday period and I think it is starting to affect me a little bit. I havent had any weed since before christmas and I miss its calming stabilising effect.

Im starting to get very very tired at night, my mood drops slightly and I get irritable. I have also been doing a lot more with my days lately than I do usually. Spending far more time with my partner too so there could be a few contributing factors to these slight mood drops and random episodes of paranoia.

Last night was annoying because I couldnt sleep either and before that I was sleeping amazingly. I was hopeful that the good sleep would last but i guess this is just the way it is.

She who yesterday was Tomorrow IZ, is today Today IZ. It went fine, and I am very, very relieved. That was a REALLY long time w/o one of the meds, and made for a month I don't care to repeat(!)
Soooo, today: good!

[Phoenix_1]

My flight home was canceled because they got 2 feet of snow. I fly home tonight. (If the weather cooperates). I'm glad to be going home at last. There's way too many people here.

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[MistressStayc]

Feeling good overall. Maybe even a little manic but that might be wishful thinking, trying to climb out of this depressive phase but it's not to bad today. Tomorrow's the anniversary of my inpatient stay. Made it a year. Feeling shaky about the situation and a little freaked out but doing ok.

[mtnmanca]

I'm new here to the site and forum, but I wanted to do what I would normally not do which is to start participating right away. I have been in a pretty severe depressive, mixed state episode now for 6 - 8 weeks and I'm reaching out for support. It's been awhile since I've been a part of any support related to mood disorders and I realize I need to get more active and involved as I feel myself slipping. Thank you for being here!

[tigersassy]

Feeling off the wall. Headache and wish I could make my brain shut up. It's chasing circles. Everyone is talking about me. They hate me. I wish I knew what to do to make them like me. When will they stop putting these thoughts in my head. My spouse doesn't even like me... I hate having to put her through this and she deserves better. She has to hate me. I want to fix this. How can I make the thoughts stop? The seroquel hasn't calmed them or made them worse since I started it this had been going on for over a month... Is this the crash? Erg....
Then I'm going round with finding a psychiatrist. So thats p$&&(;g me off and stupid people at work. sorry about the rant.
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[Blue_Bird]

Struggling to get through the day. Its like that everyday now though. I can't pull myself out of this depression. Will this ever end? I need the next 6 days to go by quickly so it can be my pdoc appointment already. I'm hoping to get back on an antidepressant (in combination with my other meds). I did very well on an AD my last severe depression episode. I'm hoping for the same results this time. I need to get out of this, I'm having sui thoughts constantly and just have no motivation for life anymore. Maybe things will start to look up for the new year, I can't imagine my mood getting any worse.

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[happywoman]

I am having trouble sleeping, not getting enough each night for last 3 nights also irritable and arguing with partner . I am also worrying about teenage son. Trying to go to bed earlier tonight. Thinking about increasing medication.

[Hoppery]

I've not been diagnosed with bipolar and probably never will be but I've gone from a 2 day of feeling on top of the world to entering into a sad state. Last night I cried myself to sleep. I really don't like this. I wanted to feel happier for longer then 2 days! The happy feeling doesn't ever seem to last long but feeling sad, lasts much longer.

[sporster2k7]

Happy New Year!
Im feeling pretty good today! Go me lol I actually had an enjoyable new years eve with my wife watching movies and eating dinner!! with no argument or fighting on my end!!

[Phoenix_1]

I'm finally home. I can be by myself again. Thank God. I can't stand being around all those people all the time. I know she's my daughter but her head is really messed up. Her in laws have brainwashed her and every one of them is a religious fanatic who believes that I'm going straight to hell because I don't go to THEIR church. Just leave me alone. I won't be going back to visit any time soon.

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[usehername]

Up and down. Can't stop thinking, can't stop talking, yet glued to the couch and totally useless.

[tigersassy]

Is it possible this is a mixed episode? I don't like this feeling. I miss the up up feeling and getting everything I could think of done. I have had no energy for a few weeks. I think thats the seroquel. But my brain is still running a million miles an hour. Not to mention I'm getting super paranoid and keep hearing my name. This is not going to work.

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I'm still depression free now over 3 months. I had a pretty good run of hypo but that is subsided. I almost feel normal. Shhh...don't tell my head that or it'll figure out some way to eff it all up for me. ;-)

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Feel like my depression is getting worse, if that's even possible. I think part of it I realize now that it's January, the possibility of me having to try a job is increasing. I'm scared as hell that I won't be able to do it and will be a big disappointment to my husband, ensuing financial problems, etc. I have zero confidence in myself. How did I get to this damn point?

[kimical]

I've been depressed for a while. I hope I can get over this, I think I will once classes start. I hope I will.

[Phoenix_1]

I'm glad to be home. I slept all day yesterday and slept in today. I hadn't slept more than 3 hours a night all the time I was at my daughter's house. I wasn't hypomanic, just very anxious when I was there.