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#876
Dec 23, 2013, 03:01 PM
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in a pretty good place this morning woke up next to my boyfriend and got cuddles before leaving the house....
we don't really work so well sleeping in the same bed with each other...he is a fairly light sleeper and I end up accidentally keeping him awake...or getting on his nerves. But through our small tiffs we always find a way to make up to each other...and kiss and make up.
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Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA  for my father I think of you everyday
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 Cyclowolf
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#877
Dec 23, 2013, 03:30 PM
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I had a bunch of errands to run before I go away tomorrow but it's 40 below. So I'm stuck indoors today. How will I get to the ATM to get money to pay for the cab to the airport tomorrow at 4 am? (I don't have a car). Good grief. I phoned my boyfriend in the US to say Merry Christmas and his cell phone carrier dropped the call 4 times. I was on my land line. I am so frustrated. Grrr.
Sent from my Note II using Tapatalk 4
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Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin  |
 Anonymous45023, Cyclowolf
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#878
Dec 23, 2013, 04:50 PM
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Although I still refuse to admit that I am bipolar, if i was I think I'd currently be in a hypomanic phase right now. I've been sociable, happy, hyper, loving Teal
 - big difference than what I have been lately. On the other hand, i'm making unrealistic goals for the new year & my future life, love everybody right now, spending way too much money (although I think closing my savings account {impulse} kind of sparked that) and my gut is just telling me to stay away from caffeine - so it could just be "hypomania". Oh well, i'm quite content just riding the high on the tide of happiness!
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A majorly depressed, anxious and dependent, schizotypal hypomanic beautiful mess ...[just a rebel to the world with no place to go...  ]
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| Cyclowolf
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#880
Dec 23, 2013, 04:55 PM
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I'm very depressed and withdrawn today. Wishing the work day was over so I can go home and crawl in bed and hide.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
| Anonymous37807, Cyclowolf, tealBumblebee
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#881
Dec 24, 2013, 07:24 AM
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I just don't know. Mixed maybe or just all over the place. Beating myself up mentally right now.
Sent from my Huawei U8800-51 using Tapatalk 2
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
| Anonymous45023, Cyclowolf, tranquility84
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#882
Dec 24, 2013, 08:22 AM
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Glad that my pdoc's office called yesterday with a cancellation opening. Instead of waiting until January 16th, I will see him this morning. Hopefully he will give me a Christmas gift of an antidepressant that will actually help me! He was mentioning Cymbalta or Effexor as a possibility the last time I saw him. Since I had such a good run on Prozac for years and was taken off that by my other pdoc in May for no apparent reason, I may suggest another whirl with Prozac. We'll see what happens.
Still apprehensive about my ability to have energy to stay at my husband's side of the family's Christmas party tonight. I will do the best I can and call it a day when I need to. Merry Christmas (or happy holidays, as the case may be) everyone! |
| Anonymous200280, Cyclowolf
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#883
Dec 24, 2013, 11:10 AM
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I'm not doing very well and having very dark thoughs today. Just wishing the depression would end, but I just keep getting lower. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I don't know how to manage tomorrow without being in tears.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha |
| Andysmom, Anonymous100104, Anonymous37807, Anonymous45023, Blue_Bird, cybermember, Cyclowolf, MoonOwl, Moreta
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#884
Dec 25, 2013, 08:25 AM
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Not sleeping. Not sure what this means. Today I woke up at 4 and I have a ginormous headache. Yesterday i woke up at 2 and because it was my trave day i was up 21 hours.
Sent from my Note II using Tapatalk 4
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin |
| cybermember, Cyclowolf
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#885
Dec 25, 2013, 12:04 PM
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i can safely today's been the worst day in the whole year.
nothing to do but look on hopelessly at everyone getting gifts and enjoying themselves |
| cybermember, Cyclowolf, happywoman
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#887
Dec 25, 2013, 05:56 PM
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I'm so stressed I feel like pulling my hair out! can't calm down until some things get resolved. Besides that depressed as ever, I'm certain I don't have a purpose in life, I don't know why I bother getting up each day. Maybe I need to go inpatient a few days for having Sui urges? I don't know, I'm trying to make this through myself. 12 more days until my next appointment to get my meds adjusted. 12 very long days.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| cybermember, Cyclowolf, happywoman
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#888
Dec 26, 2013, 05:29 AM
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I was enjoying Christmas Day and Boxing Day,attended a lovely naming day ceremony today. Unfortunately simmering family conflict erupted into an argument with my husbands sister on the car ride home.Trying not to beat myself up mentally.realised I had forgotten my morning meds. Feeling a little blue but know it will pass. Grateful for loved ones around me.
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| Cyclowolf
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#889
Dec 26, 2013, 06:26 AM
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Christmas day at my daughter's house was extremely busy. Way too many people for me.
It's the 3rd night in a row with 3 hours of sleep. I hope this isn't the onset of hypomania. Sigh. Sent from my Note II using Tapatalk 4
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Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin |
| Anonymous45023, Cyclowolf, happywoman
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#890
Dec 26, 2013, 09:56 AM
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So far, so good on the 20 mg Prozac - - no ill side effects. I realize it will take weeks to work (if it even helps at all). It was my mainstay for years until my former pdoc took me off it in May (for no explicable reason), so hopefully it will help me get on track again.
Amazingly, I made it until about 10 p.m. at the Christmas Eve party, and to all events the next day too. I was surprised I was able to stay up until 10 (latest I've been up in a very long time). Really enjoyed both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Glad we made it to church yesterday. Now it's back to my ho-hum routine - - looking for a job/waiting for the appropriate time (a couple of weeks or so) to call back my top job prospect to see if he and his partner have made a decision about hiring me. I sure as hell hope so . . . Throw in a little laundry, some 12 steps meetings, tidying up the house, too much watching t.v. and resting, and you have my life lately! |
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#891
Dec 26, 2013, 10:57 AM
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Well, I made it through Christmas day and managed to keep my tears before and after I was at my daughters. She had put together a lovely lunch. we had more than enough to eat for which I am thankful. However, while there I found upsetting news for me, my daughter has endometrios (sp) and is having surgery in a couple of weeks to remove it. I'm sure it is a simple proceedure but it kicks my anxiety into over drive. She wan't going to tell me, so I wouldn't worry but had left the schedule date and time and proceedure. When it comes to her my anxiety level goes up double. I now want relax until I know she is out of it okay.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha |
| Cyclowolf
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| Cyclowolf
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#892
Dec 26, 2013, 12:06 PM
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I've been really low lately but the boy doesn't understand and so to keep him from being a kicked puppy I got dolled up to play a part and go out. I've had the hardest time getting out of bed and going into work but I still got up and went in because I had specialized testing to do... Then I got myself stuck in the snow got the tow stuck in the snow then on the way up it snapped my transmission fluid line.... My company vehicle is bleeding and I just want to go home but I might have to go in and get a drug test because its consider an incident... FML
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| Anonymous45023, Cyclowolf
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#893
Dec 27, 2013, 09:19 PM
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Christmas is over thank goodness. I'm at a ski resort with my daughter and her family. I can't ski because of my knee surgery. It's very warm here - it was 40 F when we got here. I'm not sure what I'll do here for 3 days while they all ski. Watch TV I guess. Oh well. Better than being home alone. I'm still not sleeping more than 3 hours a night. No sign of hypomania, just very very tired.
Sent from my Note II using Tapatalk 4
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin |
| Cyclowolf, shezbut
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| Cyclowolf
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#894
Dec 28, 2013, 01:58 AM
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Not good. Have managed to move from near catatonia. Traumatized last night. It seems "sending a message" to someone else is more important than my well-being. Or even functioning-being. Or does it even matter?
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| Cyclowolf, shezbut
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#895
Dec 28, 2013, 08:58 AM
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I always seem to feel more depressed in the morning. Have to force myself to get out of bed because I have fear that the day will be another painful one emotionally. I prolong my time in bed after I wake up until I can't take it anymore. Right now I feel pain (down) and just hate it. Except for yesterday afternoon - - I felt like it was a spring day (even though very cold). All seemed okay. Back to he blahs this a.m.
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| Cyclowolf, shezbut
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#896
Dec 28, 2013, 01:10 PM
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Gayleggg, I don't know if this will help, I had endometriosis and the removal is rather routine. If you have any questions about it, inbox me.
 Sorry redfaux that you had a bad day. I hope things are going better now  .Phoenix_1, I hope you find time to enjoy your daughter's and her family's company. Innerzone feel better newgal2 have you talked to your pdoc about this? Does the day get better once you are up? Doing ok today. Been off of work for 4 days now. Trying to keep myself busy as I have been in a volatile mood lately. Really doesn't help having so much time on my hands.
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Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss |
| Cyclowolf
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| Cyclowolf, Phoenix_1
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#897
Dec 28, 2013, 07:16 PM
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I'm completely losing hope.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Anonymous37807, Anonymous45023, Cyclowolf, happywoman, shezbut
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#898
Dec 28, 2013, 08:52 PM
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feeling crappy.
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My labels: Bipolar 1 w/ psychosis PTSD GAD SAD ADHD Current meds: 1500mg divalproex sodium 3mg alprazolam 0.5 mg triazolam PRN assorted non psych meds. 
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| Anonymous45023, Cyclowolf, happywoman, shezbut
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#899
Dec 29, 2013, 02:39 PM
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I'm doing okay. Little unmotivated to do much today.
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Diagnosed with: Major Depression, Bipolar with Borderline traits, Grief/Anxiety, depersonalizations disorder, disassociating identity disorder, PTSD Lost dear older bro November 1987 to March 2005 My love for him will never stop |
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#900
Dec 29, 2013, 04:00 PM
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Worried about tomorrow, but today, good(!)
 (Worry is past and future, right? So I'll leave Tomorrow IZ to deal with it.) |
| shezbut
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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