[renie1022]

i am afraid i am misdiagnosed bipolar but love my psychiatrist so am trying to trust on this one. I am on a lot of anti-mania meds. See my tagline. My question is...if i am just supposed to have a regular non-manic happy mood, will these drugs also crush those? I am afraid of being misdiagnosed and therefore never experiencing pure joy/happiness/elation again.

[MilitaryMech]

Simple answer: No. Long and involved answer: Maybe, depending on how you respond. Don't immediately chalk a down mood up to the drugs. It could easily be many other things. Just give it some time. These new meds are godsends.

[kaliope]

renie
I don't think you have to be concerned about that. I am being successfully treated for bipolar. I once took lamictal and it didn't subdue me. I now take Geodon and live a normal life. abilify made me too itchy to take. but these med stabilize, they don't depress. they make your brain work like it is supposed to work. that means you can have your normal moods. im on Geodon and topomax which is the equivalent of the lamictal and I lead a totally normal life. take care

[venusss]

They can if you are medicated incorrectly, on wrong stuff or too much stuff. If that happens, demand that your combo is changed to something that doesn't numben your spirit.

Some pdocs apparently think that being stupid boring fart is "normal" range of emotion, but don't let their "expertise" fool you. It's NOT normal for everybody.

Finding the right combination of medication is an involved process of trial and error. Some meds will have side-effects, including brain fog and less intense feelings of joy. Sometimes this will subside, sometimes it won't. Ultimately, while you might no longer experience the same intensity as a manic high, it is possible to feel genuine happiness and contention if you have the right combination of medication and coping tools (e.g. a good, licensed therapist).

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

They can if you are medicated incorrectly, on wrong stuff or too much stuff. If that happens, demand that your combo is changed to something that doesn't numben your spirit.

Some pdocs apparently think that being stupid boring fart is "normal" range of emotion, but don't let their "expertise" fool you. It's NOT normal for everybody.

My last pdoc was as Venus described. Didn't care that I was an emotionless zombie shell of a humanbeing. Just threw more meds at me! I was on lithium and apparantly within therapeutic range, except I don't think apathy is therapeutic, and my previous combo didn't have that effect on me. So lithium was overall just REALLY bad for me, even though many others call it a godsend.

I should thank that a.s.s.wipe who refused to listen though, its because of his actions that I just ended up flushing the whole combo down the toilet!

So in answer to your question:

Maybe, maybe not, but it shouldn't. That's not what they're for.

[wildflowerchild25]

Lithium was a big deadener for me. So was too much abilify. But trileptal has worked out fine. Meds should not make you feel dead. If they do they are not right for you.

[Marshellette]

No, high doses might dull you a little but once you stop taking them you can feel again. It's a tradeoff that some people are willing to make.

[charo224488]

Yes, unfortunately meds will change your emotional responses to unnatural. I have BP1 and have been on every med out there- trying for the last 20 yrs. to fix myself. Today I realized, as my dr. handed me samples for yet another new med that just hit the market, that I am not fixable. I will never be fixed- none of us will. We are broken and may feel 'happy' at times, but it will not last, and we all know it. So yes, this is your new normal. I'm sorry you are struggling with this horrific illness, and I wish you the best. I'm also sorry this is sad and angry and hopeless, but that is what this is and what I am and we are not fixable.

[charo224488]

Originally Posted by MilitaryMech

Simple answer: No. Long and involved answer: Maybe, depending on how you respond. Don't immediately chalk a down mood up to the drugs. It could easily be many other things. Just give it some time. These new meds are godsends.

I disagree that these new meds are godsends. They have not worked for me- none of them. But, I want to thank you so much for the Shel Silverstein poem- one of my favorites. Thank you.

[BipolaRNurse]

I am finally on the right combination of meds in the right doses, and I'm fine---plenty of energy without the fever of mania, mellow mood, not too hot or too cold---without being a zombie. It took 2 years and countless trials to get to this place, and yes I'm on four meds full-time and two PRNs. But I've found a balance with this combination, so it IS possible. Try not to be discouraged---it's hell when you're going through the lab-rat experience, but it does get better for most of us. Hang in there!

[renie1022]

thanks everyone for replying, i guess it is a bit different for everyone. All i know is that my "normal" since being on these drugs, is just feelinig like crap but not quite being depressed. I live "in my head" .. This is making me not enjoy doing anything. Like the thoughts are more interesting somehow than my actual life. I am not laying in bed crying, but this isn't great either. But again thanks for your replys and encouraging thoughts.

[PrairieCat]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

They can if you are medicated incorrectly, on wrong stuff or too much stuff. If that happens, demand that your combo is changed to something that doesn't numben your spirit.

Some pdocs apparently think that being stupid boring fart is "normal" range of emotion, but don't let their "expertise" fool you. It's NOT normal for everybody.

[B What you said about pdocs thinking that"being stupid boring fart is normal" is just hilarious! Thank you for that, Venus! It is so true and I totally agree with you. I had a pdoc like that. The more meds, the better was her attitude! I feel that I became a zombie for quite a while. I would like to wring her neck now. I have a new pdoc now whom I have asked for a proper official diagnosis. I am only on two meds at present, an anti-D and one for sleep. Plus one for the pain of scleroderma.

I am interested in how you know about what you stated above. Can we become friends?

PrairieCat
[/B]

[Marshellette]

Originally Posted by charo224488

I disagree that these new meds are godsends. They have not worked for me- none of them. But, I want to thank you so much for the Shel Silverstein poem- one of my favorites. Thank you.

I have also tried everything and nothing really works. It's kind of like getting stoned to deal with your problems. There are some people out there who would rather be stoned than dead.

[charo224488]

Originally Posted by Marshellette

I have also tried everything and nothing really works. It's kind of like getting stoned to deal with your problems. There are some people out there who would rather be stoned than dead.

Thanks for your post. I feel that it is honest, and so many posts on this site are all flowery like 'it will get better' and 'you'll find the right meds and be ok'. What they don't tell you is that yes, you can find the right meds and be ok until they stop working. They will always stop working. You will always have to switch antidepressants or increase benzos for them to keep working. Your body adapts to them, your brain chemistry changes, and then one day you wake up and your perfectly 'normal' world and emotions are suddenly gone. What day will this happen? No one knows. It could be tomorrow or a month from now or years from now or in the next few minutes. It is terrifying. It strips you of hope, the ability to plan anything, your self confidence. Will I be ok tomorrow? Will I be manic, and so productive that I can do anything? Will I be so depressed that I can't move? Will I feel so angry that I can't look at another human being? Will I be so panicked that I can't breathe? No one with this 'disorder' knows. Can I join that bookclub, take that job, have that child, plan that dinner? I don't know. Ask me tomorrow. Living like this sucks. It is not flowery, it is not going to be ok ever. Thank you for your honest post, and for listening. I respect your opinion very much.

[charo224488]

Originally Posted by renie1022

thanks everyone for replying, i guess it is a bit different for everyone. All i know is that my "normal" since being on these drugs, is just feelinig like crap but not quite being depressed. I live "in my head" .. This is making me not enjoy doing anything. Like the thoughts are more interesting somehow than my actual life. I am not laying in bed crying, but this isn't great either. But again thanks for your replys and encouraging thoughts.

Renie,
I am not a dr. however, I have had a lot of experience with this 'disorder' and I am thinking that you are on a lot of meds. Maybe too many? No wonder you feel this way. Maybe scaling back on a few will help? Best of luck to you.

[Mandysue]

I worried about that too, I am on Lithium and its working good for me. But I don't get super happy which they don't want me super happy cause that means im going manic lol. but i think now im just normal, but i have been kinda down and out, I think its the time of year

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by charo224488

Yes, unfortunately meds will change your emotional responses to unnatural. I have BP1 and have been on every med out there- trying for the last 20 yrs. to fix myself. Today I realized, as my dr. handed me samples for yet another new med that just hit the market, that I am not fixable. I will never be fixed- none of us will. We are broken and may feel 'happy' at times, but it will not last, and we all know it. So yes, this is your new normal. I'm sorry you are struggling with this horrific illness, and I wish you the best. I'm also sorry this is sad and angry and hopeless, but that is what this is and what I am and we are not fixable.

I am incredibly sorry you feel this way. God knows I've felt this way myself. Most recently just in November. And I am sorry you have found nothing at all that has helped. But I disagree that all of us are "broken". I am not. I know that even if I stay on meds they will eventually stop working and I will have to find something else. But I also know that I can achieve a baseline, if only for a little while. That's all I can ask for. I don't ask for a cure. I just ask for management. I am sorry you have not been able to find anything that helps. But some of us can, so please don't call us all broken and hopeless. I am certainly not.

I don't mean to anger you. I know where you are coming from. It is a dark terrible place that I'm sure I will visit again. But I'll make it out alive.

Good luck to you. I hope you find some semblance of peace, if only for a little while.

[buddha2014]

Mostly, yes!!

My experience and that of many others I came across are same. Most of the times, meds do alter your mood.

Just observe yourself and you will notice!!

[pink&grey]

I had this concern too. I resisted my diagnosis for 7 years. When I finally took the meds and got stabilized I realized I spent 7 years denying myself happiness. I feel so much better now. Good luck!

[charo224488]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I am incredibly sorry you feel this way. God knows I've felt this way myself. Most recently just in November. And I am sorry you have found nothing at all that has helped. But I disagree that all of us are "broken". I am not. I know that even if I stay on meds they will eventually stop working and I will have to find something else. But I also know that I can achieve a baseline, if only for a little while. That's all I can ask for. I don't ask for a cure. I just ask for management. I am sorry you have not been able to find anything that helps. But some of us can, so please don't call us all broken and hopeless. I am certainly not.

I don't mean to anger you. I know where you are coming from. It is a dark terrible place that I'm sure I will visit again. But I'll make it out alive.

Good luck to you. I hope you find some semblance of peace, if only for a little while.

You are right- I should not have called all of you broken and hopeless. I am sorry for that. I don't know any of you and I had no right. You didn't anger me at all. I am in an awful place right now, and I feel absolutely broken. In the bottom of this dark pit I can not see any light, and I can not see any way out. I know how this ends- the new meds will eventually kick in and hopefully be better than the last ones and I will find my way out and forget what it felt like to be here. Then it will happen again and I will forget what it felt like to not be here. Perhaps I am actually in hell.

[bronzeowl]

Everyone is different, and many of us respond to meds differently as a result. A med that works for one person, may not work for another person - even if they have the same diagnosis. Lamictal did not kill happiness for me. It did, however, help me remember what real happiness felt like.

I'm of the opinion that if the meds make you feel like a zombie, you are not on the right cocktail.

Also, happiness in my opinion should not be solely dependent on meds. It is really possible to feel happy without feeling hypo/manic if you have the right meds, the right therapist, and the right environmental changes going on.

[bluemountains]

I think the drugs make me dull. I feel I have lost my passion. Unfortunately my passion was what made me too loud, too spontaneous in a bad way, etc. I don't know what the answer is. I recently tried my own adjustments to the meds and found that I couldn't control my emotions. I have since gone back on and I am trying to see if I can get back to dull.

Currently, I don't have a bucket list-this concerns me, no passion about anything.

Bluemountains

[MissyB0201]

I am not far along enough in my treatment path to answer your question. I do have thoughts on this subject though. I have found that the mood stabilizer I am on has made it so I can't really go into hypomania. It is not, however, preventing depressive episodes. I think for me, happy is hypomania, or it has been...it is a comfort zone. So in essence, I will not feel happiness as I know it. I guess I have to get used to a new range of feelings. It's uncomfortable for me right now. I am hopeful that later on it will feel different. Hearing that some people have never gotten relief from bipolar disorder is concerning for me. I am a bit scared of that happening. I feel like I've tried so many drugs, and it always takes months to try something new, and I am not where I should be. I wish you the best and I hope you can feel happy. Sorry I couldn't answer your question.