The most embarrassing part of your illness?

littlemiss44 · Apr 09, 2014, 10:01 AM

You can do it! Sometimes showering is my biggest accomplishment. Going for a walk and getting fresh air can really help. I hope you have a good day. Sending lots of hugs yr way. :-)

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arya1211 · Apr 09, 2014, 10:56 AM

I got hypersexual during my most recent manic/hypomanic episode. It could have been far worse but I'm mortified but what I did.

outlaw sammy · Apr 09, 2014, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lobster Hands...

Yeah...that along with a moron coworker noticing that your bipolar because they think they have it...now all they do is ask me things like "oh, your not sleeping lately are you?"...keep in mind that this person also goes around telling people how he scored a 122 on an IQ test (he's so cocky about it too)...what an idiot...

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Only a scant 122 on the I.Q. test? Damn I've scored a 164 on the Cambridge I.Q. test. Now if you mix that with a masters in chemistry (CU 2004), and a diagnosis of type I rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, I should be more threatening than Napoleon on meth-amphetamine.

Phoenix_1 · Apr 09, 2014, 11:49 AM

Buying a health food store and borrowing $160,000 from the bank thinking I was going to be all set up for retirement. Oh I was so sure I had the perfect plan to make money and I was so hypo. 10 months later I was bankrupt.

Go Hungry · Apr 09, 2014, 11:50 AM

I think the thing for me is... All the people I've met who just think I'm a flat out weirdo. I remember screaming at the sky and everyone just staring at me. Then there's the friends that I've hurt, betrayed because I thought they were out to get me.

Other people that I took advantage of because I was depressed and felt like they were just pawns in a game. And maybe the biggest one of all is this girl that I was in love with back in highschool, and we were just perfect for each other. She was head over heels for me, and I dumped her in an extremely cruel way, thinking that I was doing the right thing for both of us. I was such a bastard that almost all of my friends disowned me, and with good reason.

The worst part for me is the price that other people have paid for my illness.

Lobster Hands · Apr 09, 2014, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by outlaw sammy

Only a scant 122 on the I.Q. test? Damn I've scored a 164 on the Cambridge I.Q. test. Now if you mix that with a masters in chemistry (CU 2004), and a diagnosis of type I rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, I should be more threatening than Napoleon on meth-amphetamine.

He probably thinks he's Napoleon...he certainly has the gall to claim something as ridiculous as that and still try to lie his way out of it.

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gayleggg · Apr 09, 2014, 02:50 PM

Most embarassing for me is the fact that between the meds and the depression I don't feel like doing anything but lay on the couch. I do work 40 hours a week, but they are easy work, but by the time I get home all I want to do is sleep. If my husband didn't cook something most nights I'd starve. I used to be so energetic, I miss that me. I had hobbies that kept me constantly busy. Now they set untouched for over a year.

Jennibella · Apr 09, 2014, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RR18

Thinking I'm all that when manic and creating instant embarrassing moments that I can't tell anyone about. Yes, they are that bad.

THIS sums me up, exactly. I could barf just thinking about the things I can't tell.

Jennibella · Apr 09, 2014, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arya1211

I got hypersexual during my most recent manic/hypomanic episode. It could have been far worse but I'm mortified but what I did.

You are not alone. This is a trademark of my manic episodes.

thickntired · Apr 09, 2014, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoenix_1

Buying a health food store and borrowing $160,000 from the bank thinking I was going to be all set up for retirement. Oh I was so sure I had the perfect plan to make money and I was so hypo. 10 months later I was bankrupt.

Oh no! I'm so very sorry to hear that

I went manic and bought a 2nd house. Now I have my name on 3 houses and the mortgages are about $2k over my ssdi check every month. I had a snotty real estate agent tell me I was wasting her time. I said I am buying a house and I'm buying a it this year. I was soooo manic. We're putting it on the market and pray to just get out from under the mortgage. I wish there was like a red Alert on the bank acct or SS# to let ppl know hey we're bipolar proceed with caution.

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TheatreKid · Apr 09, 2014, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thickntired

I wish there was like a red Alert on the bank acct or SS# to let ppl know hey we're bipolar proceed with caution.

I've never been in the position to buy a house or anything, I'm just a 20-something university student, and my credit is so poor I can't even get a credit card, but whenever I (or someone else) catches me in hypo or mania, I call my bank and put a daily spending limit on my account. The amount varies but usually I limit it to the amount of my largest bill, so I can take care of business but can't take exorbitant amounts out at the bank machine or make big purchases. It's a bummer, but it saves me. I use food banks to eat as it is, I can't afford to waste the little I do have.

wikiwiki77 · Apr 09, 2014, 10:56 PM

For me it's mania. Especially when I am irritable.

r010159 · Apr 09, 2014, 11:08 PM

My credit score dropped 20 points because I was late with three payments in a row. The credit card substantially cut my credit limit. I now have to prove to them that I can make the payments.

I have gone through about $60,000 in a couple years. I do not know where most of it went. I am on disability. So even though I only placed myself in credit card debt for $6000, I went through a significant part of my bank account. I have not told anyone due to me not wanting to be embarrassed.

I was able to reign in my spending only recently when my med cocktail started to work. This was due to the addition of Lamictal and Zyprexa. What has it taken so long for the doctor to place me on a mood stabilizer?

I just hope there are no emergencies until I can pay it all back...maybe sometime in the future. Every time I think about this I start to fee anxious and worried.

usehername · Jun 15, 2014, 02:51 AM

The things I say/do while manic. I think the realization of what I've done triggers depression.

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sui generis · Jun 15, 2014, 03:37 AM

When I'm really depressed and I either fail my classes or I have to take leave for a semester. I see all my friends graduating and getting jobs and I feel embarrassed. I'm afraid people think I'm lazy or stupid but I KNOW I'm not. I know life isn't a race so I don't know why I care so much and why I'm so embarrased about it.

Jun 15, 2014, 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OutlawedSpirit

I would have to say the depression when it gets to the point where it's too hard to do anything.

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Same here

Jun 15, 2014, 05:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Side2Side

Being told im too ill to be employed

Yes i'm afraid of this becoming a reality, it looks sure as heck to me it will happen, how do you get through it/coping strategy if one?

pawn78 · Jun 15, 2014, 10:06 AM

The most embarrassing thing is my lack of self-control, my bad temper, my sharp tongue, and my sometimes bizarre behavior.

Mental reward · Jun 15, 2014, 04:02 PM

Yes, the overwhelmingly ridiculous things I've done while manic. I can cringe out of nowhere over manic memories. Mainly bc I can remember things I forgot happened out of no where sometimes. It's actually just straight up painful when this happens. Cringe cringe cringe. I also sometimes must remind myself, "yes, this ACTUALLY happened".

Blitter2014 · Jun 15, 2014, 04:25 PM

Loved ones / family telling me to be quiet because I'm embarrassing them or myself.....and I just think I'm being funny....

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Mental reward · Jun 15, 2014, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

My T never told me it was a personality trait....I'm not sure. See I think I know what u mean in reference to the 2 ppl that never apologize. My step-dad is like that. He is uncomfortable apologizing and acts like nothing happened. Some ppl will go buy the person they have wronged a gift (my mom).
It might be a personality thing and it is heightened by my bipolar 1 (extreme mania). Anytime I do something to someone, toward or attempt to I feel justified because they provoke me. Period. I do ask explain to family what my triggers are. However they tend to not retain info pertaining to me very well.

I have attempted to have a conscience by apologizing but I stopped trying. My oldest daughter would get mad bc she could tell I did not mean it. She was correct. She hit a trigger after being told it was one...so she got the outcome. I went for a disability hearing and the judge I had asked me "do u not have any remorse"? I truthfully answered the question. No. The killer part is I didn't use to be this why!!! I have been concerned abt it and mentioned it to my T, and pdoc. My bad did mean to type a book. LOL

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Not having a conscience is not a characteristic of BP. It is a personality trait. I can imagine that must be frustrating for many reasons though.

haleylaurel · Jun 15, 2014, 05:44 PM

my anger.
and just the stigma of "mentally ill"

Blitter2014 · Jun 15, 2014, 06:39 PM

Always feeling the need to apologize for something you have said or done...

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Jun 15, 2014, 10:18 PM

That I didn't get help at a much, much younger age so that I may have made better decisions, and maybe I wouldn't feel so darn mixed up.

r010159 · Jun 15, 2014, 10:58 PM

I can be irresponsible in relationships by going for the moment, and then I sometimes have to pick up the pieces. Like today.

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